Defiance
by Confessed4Life
Summary: After taking a mate, Kahlan is captured and tortured for months while the Seeker struggles to find the woman he loves. With everything against them, her sight may not be the only thing she loses. *This fic was written by request and contains things that may be sensitive for some. **This story is rated M for scenes of rape and violence.
1. Chapter 1

The final battle had not only won the war, but given the Mother Confessor something she needed. One of the men she had confessed during the fight was an excellent candidate for her mate and the decision had been made. His name was James, Kahlan had come to learn during her inquiry, a father and husband and though she felt sorry for the family he left behind, she had to push on. The man wasn't as large as the others, making him a little smaller than the Seeker, his hair was the same length, but the shade was darker. His eyes were what held her, the soft green that reminded her of the trees she had passed through as a child. The thought making it easier for her to continue.

Richard remained with her at the Confessor's Palace, roaming the halls while trying to decide what to do next. Darken Rahl was dead and there was no longer a need for the Seeker, but he couldn't bring himself to go home. He didn't want to leave her and he knew it was because he hoped that she would change her mind and take him. Of all of the things he had ever hoped for, this was the one he wanted the most. He envied the other man, though from the looks of him, he would almost swear that she chose him because there were similarities between them and in the brief moments the thought ran through his mind, he smiled. Their relationship hadn't changed completely, like he thought it would, a more than pleasing fact. She still came to him, sometimes in the middle of the night and they talked. The topic of their conversations changed constantly, but as long as they were talking, he felt like there was still a chance that his friend would come to see them the way he did.

"His wife has asked for a meeting," Kahlan whispered as Richard sat down in the chair beside her. They were in his bedroom, one of the biggest that she had given, a small way to thank him for everything. "What do I say to the woman who loves the man I destroyed?"

"The truth," he offered softly. "She's hurt and only you can help her to understand that in this, you are giving him a chance to do more with his life, to make up for what he had done."

"I don't think she will see it that way."

"Why not?"

Her eyes closed, unable to look at him as she answered, not if she was to speak the truth. "Because if it was the other way around and she took you... Richard, I wouldn't be able to see past my own pain."

His hand was on her knee, squeezing softly until she opened her eyes. She didn't look at him and he knew that she wouldn't, not when she had admitted something so powerful in a different set of words. "Then I would hope that she would have your heart to see that you are not bringing him or her any harm. Kahlan, you could send him back to her, but you don't and I know that it's not only because you need him. You won't send him back, because he is no longer the man that woman loved and it would be more painful for her to spend the rest of her life with someone who loved another woman than to accept the loss. You are doing more good for her than imaginable and I know that it may be hard, but I think that at some point you can help her to see it."

"Would you listen to someone who stole the woman you loved?"

He frowned, shaking his head as she, at last, brought her eyes to his. "I don't know, but as angry as I would be, I would know there are two sides. You are not a cruel person, I think she knows that."

Her hand laid over his, holding it to her as she looked out of the window. "It's snowing."

"A snow storm will be coming through tonight, you should make sure your fireplace is well taken care of."

Continuing to stare out of the window, she tilted her head in his direction, hoping to feel a little closer to him. "Would it be alright if I stayed with you tonight?"

He knew why she asked, why she didn't want to return to her room, but he hoped he was wrong. "Of course. I'll take the floor-"

"We can share the bed, Richard."

"Are you sure?"

Nodding, she gave a small smile. "Yes. It will be warmer for both us."

"I'll tend to the fire."

She was in his arms when she awoke, warm and happy. For a moment, she allowed herself to believe that this was her life. Snuggling closer, Kahlan kept her eyes closed and took in a deep breath. The smell of his shirt was comforting, but she couldn't help but wonder how it differed from his skin. He was hugging her to him, firmly, as though protecting her from an unseen danger and she knew she enjoyed it more than she should. Without the sun shining down on her face, she couldn't be sure what time it was and if she was found in his room, their troubles would never end.

With hesitation, she began to inch away from his warmth, doing her best not to wake him. Sitting up, she looked around the room, surprised to see that he had left a plate of food on the table beside her, filled with her favorite things. This is how it would be, she thought instantly. If she had a life with him, he would give her everything. He would spend every moment, making sure that her next was filled with happiness and there was no doubt in her mind, that if it was possible, they would be happy. Taking a strawberry from one of the bowls before her, she pushed it into her mouth and carefully stood.

He shifted in the bed, making her look over her shoulder to be sure he was still asleep. He was smiling, the first thing she noticed and quickly realized that it wasn't often that he did. The urge to crawl back into his arms flooded her veins and she almost did, but when she turned, she met his eyes.

"Leaving?"

"I was thinking about it," she told him quietly.

"What's stopping you?"

"You."

He seemed surprised by her answer, his eyes widening as he sat up. "Me?"

Bringing her right knee to the bed, she knelt against it, wondering what to say next. "When did you leave for the food?"

"An hour after you fell asleep. I thought you would wake up early and be gone by the time I- I thought you may be hungry."

"Thank you."

"Is that why you stayed?" he asked quietly. "To thank me?"

"Partly. I- I should go." She moved back, smoothing her hands down the front of her dress. "I'm sorry for waking you."

"You don't have to go," he told her before she was able to turn around. "You still have time before you meet with her and I can help you find the words to say."

"You already have."

"Please stay."

"I shouldn't."

"Why?"

She couldn't give him the truth, he would get that look in his eye, the one that always held her hostage and made her feel like she was someone or something else. "I need to wash before I go. I must look like-"

"You look beautiful," he said before thinking. "You always do."

She gave a sad smile, her head falling forward slightly. "Richard- Thank you."

He moved to her, remaining on the bed as he reached out for her. She allowed his arms to circle her waist, pulling her to him and with a moan, she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him back with a passion which was causing her head to spin. She had seen the way his eyes slid over her, a look of desire in them and it took away some of her fears. It had been months since their lips touched, but there was nothing that suggested the fact as they lost themselves in the action. Kahlan's fingers wound themselves in the hair above his neck, finding a small way to pull him closer as his own hands moved over her back. They moved together, she moving forward as he inched back, bringing her to sit on his thighs as his back lowered to the bed.

His instinct was to roll over her, but he knew better than to take control. He longed for more and his body gave her undeniable proof as he pushed up against her. She rocked against him and he knew that she didn't realize what she was doing and what she needed. Shifting his hips, he pushed his right leg against her, earning a moan he longed to remember. Her dress made it difficult to move and harder to please her, but it didn't stop him, only she could.

Rolling them, he laid her on her back and he remained on his side, hoping he didn't push her too far. His left hand traveled over her stomach, fighting the urge to unlace her dress or rest on her breasts and the way she pushed against his touch, he was almost certain she wanted him to do them both. He continued to kiss her passionately and she returned each one in full, her tongue now dueling with his. As he pushed closer, her right hand left his shoulder and came to his cheek, instantly bringing their kiss to a stop.

"I'm sorry."

With a quick kiss, Richard nudged his nose against her cheek. "It's alright. I shouldn't have-"

"No," she said quickly. "I'm not sorry for that," she admitted surprisingly. "I should go."

Sitting up, he looked over to the door and licked his lips. It took more of his strength to hold his eyes open as he continued to taste her on them. "You're right." He moved off of the bed and away from her, walking across the room to his wash station, splashing his face with the water instantly.

She could feel his frustration and knowing that it matched her own made it even harder for her to come to her feet and once again begin her journey to the door of his room. When she reached the thick wood, she looked back at him, hoping to see his face once more, but he had it hidden in a towel. She left quickly, making sure he didn't hear the soft whimper that escaped her as she stepped out.

He didn't see her for the rest of the day and from the things the servants were speaking quietly about, he could understand why she had found a place to herself. Jessica, the wife of the man she would be taking to her bed had cried and screamed, begging the Mother Confessor to release him. The actions the woman then took was not a surprise to him, but hearing that it was to the others made him wonder how Kahlan was feeling. The other woman had lunged forward, trying to kill her and he could understand her anger, knowing what it was like to love someone and not be able to have them. Though it shocked the palace that Kahlan had not hurt the other woman, nor placed her in prison, it didn't him. A part of him knew that she felt part of the woman's pain and she wouldn't want to bring her more.

She wasn't in her room, that was the first place he looked after lunch; after the kitchen staff had told him the story. Walking through the halls, he tried to think of a place she would go and he couldn't help but hate himself for making it impossible for her to come to him. After what happened that morning, she wouldn't come to him for comfort and it pained him when he knew he was one of the few who could provide it. The garden was empty, her second favorite place and the palace was too big for him to search each room. With a heavy sigh, he turned and began walking into the trees, the only place he could hear his own thoughts anymore and wouldn't be disturbed. Time seemed to have sped up as he looked up to the sky, now noticing it wasn't as bright as before and realizing that soon she would have another man in her bed.

His legs nearly gave out beneath him at the thought, making him stumble before he was able to sit down. No matter how many times they had talked about it, her way of trying to prepare him, he still felt sick and angry at the idea. She didn't love him and sometimes it was enough for him to focus on, but not now. The feel of her lips still lingered on his, the desperation and passion behind her kiss left him tingling and he hated to think that someone else was going to experience a portion of it. She should be his, only his, but she refused to believe her love wouldn't hurt him. He refused to let her go.

Closing his eyes, he let himself listen to forest around him, always enjoying the sounds within. The snow kept the birds away, leaving it much quieter than he liked, but the feel of the frozen flakes touching his skin made him feel alive. There was a sound he could barely make out, soft and familiar, but when he opened his eyes, he could see where it came from. Curious, he came back to his feet and began walking in the direction the wind came from, hoping it had been carried to him. He almost didn't see her, the white of her dress blending in with the snow that not only surrounded her on the ground, but had settled upon her as it fell. It was clear she had been sitting there for some time. Her cheeks were red, her nose even more so, the cold showing itself to he harsh.

She held her eyes closed, sensing his presence, but unable to turn her head to look at him. If she brought her eyes to his, he would see the pain, fear and shame that mixed with her tears. For months this had been how she felt, but when she woke each morning, she put on a smile and hoped to deceive them all and it had worked. He remained a few feet from her, but she could hear his mind spinning. He wanted to come to her, tell her she shouldn't be out here in her dress alone and then wrap her in his arms, but he couldn't. He wanted to yell at her, demand that she send the other man away and take him, but he couldn't and the last thing that he thought of was what he did.

Kneeling down a foot from her, he avoided looking at her directly. "You're freezing."

"Not anymore," she told him, her voice shaking, though she could no longer feel the cold.

"It's getting late."

"I know."

He cut of his sigh of frustration, not wanting to upset her as he noticed her eyes open. "Shouldn't you be preparing?"

"They can ready my room without me."

"I suppose." He stood, pulling off his shirt with a single breath and before she could say anything, he laid it over her chest and crossed arms. "It won't help very much, but it's warmer than the snow."

She turned her head toward him, crossed between thanking him and throwing it back, but he was already walking away. He couldn't bring her back and they both knew it to he true, so he did what he could, what he always managed to do. With a single action, he comforted her in a way no one else ever could. She watched him until he disappeared and the moment he was gone, she cried.

"Take off your clothes," Kahlan instructed as she moved around the room. James did as she asked, dropping his clothes to the floor as he watched her. She didn't look over to him, even as he stood naked before her, his arousal very clear. "Put this on," she said as she tossed a blue shirt into his chest. He caught the fabric instantly and before she could take a breath, he had it over his head. It was then that she brought her eyes to him. "In one night, how many times were you able to please your wife?"

He frowned, hating the thought of having a wife, of ever being with anyone but his mistress. "Three, maybe four times. Forgive me, Mistress, I didn't know how much I loved you when I was with her."

Kahlan felt her heart stop for a moment as she came closer to the man. Laying her hand against his cheek, she smiled. "There is nothing to forgive. You loved her and gave her four children. You should be proud." When he relaxed, she took back her hand, dropping it at her side. "When you were with her, were you above her?" He nodded, relieved to have been forgiven of his mistake. "How did you touch her?"

"Would you like me to show you, Mistress?"

"Yes."

James took a step forward, a smile on his lips as he gently wrapped his arms around her waist. He brought her to him, but their lips didn't touch. As his hands gently moved over her sides and back, he pushed the side of his head against hers, kissing her hair as he rocked their bodies. She was surprised by the action, but didn't stop him. Instead, she brought her own hands to his waist, almost pulling him closer as his lips found her neck. The hair on his cheeks scratched at her skin, but just before it began to burn, his lips found it and kissed away the pain. Her head fell back as he continued, allowing him full access to the front of her neck.

"Do you wish me to continue?" he asked, almost afraid she would say no.

"Yes. What would you do next?"

He didn't speak, but answered with his hands. Untying her dress, he started walking them backward, but not toward the bed. She gave no fight as her back hit one of the walls and her dress fell to the ground. His mouth returned to her skin, but not on her neck. Kissing over her chest, he avoided her breasts until her fingers came to his hair, almost as though he needed permission to continue. She had imagined someone kissing her this way, but somehow she couldn't bring herself to believe it would feel any better.

James worked one breast with his hand while the other was safe in his mouth, a gentle bite every now and again that matched a squeeze on the other. He remained there, half hunched over, continuing his actions for minutes, making her grow warmer and warmer. Without moving his lips from her skin, he made his way back up her chest and neck, rounding her chin until he was close to her lips. He stopped suddenly, bringing her to open her eyes.

"May I kiss you?" he asked in a heated voice. He was panting and his eyes were filled with desire and before she could form a thought, she nodded and his lips pressed against hers.

He was gentle with their kiss as well, his lips caressing hers in a way that felt so powerful, it seemed to drain her senses. His left hand continued to move over her, gliding down her side and over her bottom, lifting her with the one hand while the other held her head. He had her pinned against the wall, but she couldn't tell. Her arms were wrapped around him, kissing him frantically as she allowed him to do as he pleased. She felt her magic floating on her fingertips as she pulled him closer, her body rocking forward in a need that he didn't rush to grant. He slipped his hand between them, touching her briefly to make sure it was alright and when she didn't stop him, he did it again. His fingers stroked her steadily, working off of not only her soft moans, but the way her body moved against him. She broke their kiss, her head coming to lay back against the wall as she held his shoulders. Her eyes remained closed as he worked, her breaths coming quickly and short, her body withering until she lost control.

He didn't stop as her magic flooded through him, his mouth returning to hers as she cried out in passion and before they knew it, he was inside of her. He moaned loudly against her lips as he pushed in farther, her body holding onto his with a tight grasp as she continued flowing on her release. He rocked slowly at first, through from the way he held her hips, she knew it was hard for him to go slow. Her legs tightened around him, her body slouching to increase the pleasure and change their angle. She panted her words, telling him not to stop, to move faster and then just as they both peaked, his name left her lips.

James's head pulled back from her chest, confused by the way she nearly screamed another man's name, but before he could question his concerns, he saw her face. She was sweating, her lips parted for her breath as her chest rose rapidly against his own and her eyes were dark, entrapping and he couldn't think of anything else.

"Did I please you?" he asked when he managed to find his voice.

Nodding, Kahlan pulled her nails from his shoulders and found her breath. "What would you do to her next?"

With a smile, he held her to his chest and carried her across the room, laying her down so gently upon the bed, she wasn't sure she was laying down. "I am unable to continue again myself so soon, but I..." His words trailed off as he returned his hands to her body.

He knelt above her, a knee on each side as he kissed her chest, his full attention on her body beneath him. For nearly an hour, he held her in his hands and his mouth, never failing to bring anything other than pleasure with each action. She continued to speak the other man's name, but James didn't stop. He was beginning to return as his lips circled her bellybutton and with the strong urge to hear her release again, he moved lower. Her eyes few open as his tongue snaked over her, a sensation she could never imagine and just as she began to pull his head away, she was unable to. Her hips rocked upward, her hands holding his head with a pant of pleasure coming again and again. Her magic tore through her without warning, without any hesitation and with a force that took her vision. She shoved him from her instantly, falling onto the floor in tears as she covered her face.

She had been imagining someone else and with the sudden release of her magic she was terrified that she had destroyed him. James came to her side, asking her if she was alright and the sound of his voice, mixed with the smell of the man whose shirt he wore only made it worse.

"Take off the shirt," she mumbled through tears. He laid the fabric in her hands and watched as she pulled it to her chest, clinging to it as she cried harder.

He was confused and the tears made him terrified that he had hurt her, but each time he asked, she shook her head. After a few minutes, she managed to speak again, telling him to dress and then return to his room. He did so immediately, leaving her alone on the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

"James?" Richard said, rounding the corner of the servants corridors. "What are you doing out here?"

"My mistress is upset, she told me to return to my room."

The Seeker grabbed his arm and stopped him from moving on, instantly making the man fear he was disappointing his mistress. "What happened?"

"She asked me the same questions you did," James told him quickly, not wanting to waste any more time. "She told me to show her how I had been with my wife and I did. I pleased her, but it was not enough. She started to cry and I thought I had hurt her, but she... She told me to return to my room, please let me go."

Richard let to of the other man's arm and instantly made up his mind, walking directly to her bedroom. The walk took longer than ever before and he grew more and more concerned with each step. He was almost running as he turned down the final hallway and when he reached her door way, he froze. James' words echoed in his mind, "I pleased her, but it wasn't enough." She had laid with him and the Seeker couldn't help but feel angry as his hand touched the doorknob. Pushing back his own feelings, he opened the door, surprised that it had been left unlocked, but after a moment he realized that the thought wouldn't have entered her mind.

She wasn't in the bed like he thought she would be, but he didn't stop moving inside. With a quick look around, he stopped suddenly. Kahlan was laying on the floor beside her bed, curled up almost in a ball as she clung to his shirt. Her tears fell like the hardest rain, telling him why she didn't hear him coming and as slowly as possible, he knelt down beside her and laid his hand on her shoulder. His touch made her cry harder, something he had previously thought to be impossible.

"Kahlan?"

"Please leave me alone."

"No."

"He loved his wife," she whispered painfully.

Sitting down, Richard stretched out his legs and sighed. "It's alright if you enjoyed it, Kahlan. You have every right to be with someone that way."

"I am not his wife," she said just as quietly. "I took him from her. He truly loved her, in every way and I destroyed them. I took him from his wife." Blinking through another wave of tears, Kahlan tightened her hold on his shirt. "I never thought anyone could love someone so much."

"Your magic is love remember? It is possible to love someone that much without being confessed. What did he do to you?"

She almost didn't answer him, but something in the way he asked, made her feel like he wanted to know for another reason other than what was in her mind. "He held me," she said a little louder than her previous words. "For a while, I forgot about everything else and what I am."

"Why did you send him away?"

"Because I didn't feel the release of my magic. I didn't know it was there and then..." Her voice cracked, pained with every word. "I was imagining you," she admitted shamefully. "I thought I had lost you."

"You didn't," he whispered, his hand squeezing her shoulder in reassurance. "I'm right here."

"How could I have-" She stopped herself, suddenly sitting up as she realized she was naked before him. Holding his shirt to her chest, she inched away, doing her best to shield herself from his eyes. "I hoped that I was strong enough."

"Strong enough for what?"

The confusion on his face made her nervous. She had hoped that he would understand, that she wouldn't have to say it aloud, but she did. "If I could hold in my magic..."

The expression on his face was a mix between pity, disappointment and sadness, holding them all beautifully. "You shouldn't have to hold it in, Kahlan. When you're with someone, you should be- What you felt with him, what he gave you, that was it. That is how it should have been. Kahlan, you deserved to experience it that way, to have someone- to have someone love you."

"It's not me he loves."

"It is now. Kahlan, I know that it is hard for you, I do, but you can't think about it that way. Everyone cares about someone before another, some even love them, but then we find someone and those other people no longer matter."

"His wife should always matter to him. The way he- His wife should have that every minute of every day and I've taken it from her."

"I feel the same way about you."

She didn't know when she had stopped crying, but tears no longer dripped down her cheeks. He always had that effect, making her feel calm and as though everything was right in the world. "He hasn't taken me from you."

"He's made love to you."

"It's not the same thing."

"Yes it is. Kahlan, I- I wish that I had been the one to give that to you, been the one who helped you to feel the way you should."

"You'd be lost."

He gave her a weak smile, finding it easier to speak when they were partly at ease. "It doesn't make me want it any less. I wish it had been me who touched you that way."

"Me too." Her words surprised them both, but she didn't hurry to take them back.

"If you hadn't let go of your magic, would you have let me-"

"I don't know," she whispered, not wanting him to finish his sentence. "I thought that maybe- I don't know."

"Yes you do."

Her eyes lowered to the floor, her mind returning to the thoughts she had before she allowed the other man to touch her. "I didn't say the thought never occurred to me."

"Kahlan-"

"I didn't want to be with him, Richard."

"I know," he told her quickly. "But you don't have to feel guilty for what happened." He meant his words, she could see the truth of them in his eyes and though she couldn't understand, she allowed him to continue. "Kahlan, I'm glad for what he gave you. You should never experience anything less." He tore his eyes from her as the desire to see her began to grow, making his body tighten. "Do you want a blanket?" Richard could see her move out of the corner of his eye, but she didn't reach onto the bed or come to her feet. Instead, she pulled his shirt over her head, letting fully cover body. "He wore it, didn't he?"

"Yes," she whispered. "I don't think I could have gone through with it he hadn't." Kahlan closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the bed table. "When he was close, I could almost imagine he was you."

"You don't have to imagine."

"I can't hurt you if you're not with me." Blinking up a set of courage, she swallowed. "If I had been with you, would you have-"

"Everything," he whispered quickly.

She was on her knees before him within moments, her hands cupping his face as she leaned forward. He wasn't sure what she was going to do, but when her lips touched his, he didn't hesitate. His arms circled her waist at once, bringing her against him as his head lifted to hold her kiss. There was a passion within her, seeping out and into his skin with each second and he couldn't help but feel that it was her letting go. There wasn't the heavy fear that lingered in her kiss and she held onto him firmly, unlike every other time they had been so close. If she felt her magic, she didn't show it and until she asked him to, he wasn't going to move away.

There was no holding back with her kiss, no hesitation between them and each time she pushed into him, they were lost a little bit more. He was laying beneath her now, his back pressed firmly against the cool wood as she leaned forward. Her body was so close, they nearly shared a single one. He wondered when she would stop, when she would realize what they were doing and run away, but with each kiss, he began to believe she never would. His hands slipped over her thighs, gently caressing her soft skin before snaking up her sides. She pulled back for a moment, making him groan in disappointment, but the view before him silenced it quickly. She pulled his shirt over her head, and before he had long enough to examine her, she was pressed against him again.

Her hair danced around his face, a comforting tickle that he swore to commit to memory, the smell alone had always driven him to madness. Slower than before, she sat up above him, her hair falling over her shoulders to shield her breasts. She was panting, her body fighting the urge to rock as their eyes met and her fingers grabbed the the bottom of his shirt. Her eyes held his, waiting to see a sign that he wanted her to stop, but there was none. When she dropped his shirt at their side, he sat forward and crashed his chest against hers.

She allowed him to hold her that way, his lips lightly brushing hers. The feel of her body against his was intoxicating, making him cling tighter for fear of losing her. Her hands dropped between them and skillfully unlaced his pants. Her eyes flew open as he laid his hands over hers, stopping her from doing anything more.

"You don't- We don't have to do this, Kahlan."

She didn't understand why he stopped her, she could feel him beneath her, his body calling out for hers. "I want to," she whispered in a voice that said more than her words.

Keeping her hands from him, he leaned his face close to hers. "How do you want me?"

Blinking, she thought about his question, wondering what he meant and then she understood. "The way we've always imagined."

With a grin, he pulled her into his arms and lifted her from the ground. "Then we should move to the bed." He had her on the bed in seconds.

She laid before him, naked, a sight he had longed to see for as long as he could remember and he couldn't help but notice how much more beautiful she was than he imagined. He hovered above her, a knee on both sides just below her hips, giving him a perfect view of her body. Her eyes fell closed, focusing on the feel of his hand on her stomach. He pushed gently against the skin, marveling at the softness and vibration he felt as she let out a low moan.

He spent half an hour discovering her body, something the other man had not done and brought far more pleasure. She clung to the headboard above her, her hips pushing up as he ran his tongue from one side to the other. Her skin was occasionally sucked into his mouth, pulling until it began to burn and then released and rewarded with the graze of his tongue to sooth away the soft pain. His head disappeared between her legs, just as the other man had done, but the feeling was entirely different. His name instantly left her lips and before she could take a breath, she sat forward and pushed him from her, knocking him onto the floor as her magic flew free.

Her eyes were still dark when she reached down for him and he could feel her body shaking as he took her hand. She pulled him back onto the bed, cupping his face as she looked into his eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to hurt you."

"It's alright," he whispered, unsure as to what to do next.

"You don't have to- I'll understand if you wanted to leave now."

"I don't want to leave, Kahlan. I want to be with you."

She smiled quickly, nodding as she reached back to his pants. "Then we should hurry before it builds back up."

"Kahlan-"

"I know," she whispered, laying herself over him.

She captured his lower lip between hers, as his hand slipped behind her back. The warm breath from his nose flowed down the middle of her chest and her heart started to hammer. Though she had been enjoying nibbling his lower lip, her tongue quickly found his upper lip. As he drew in a sharp breath, his lips finally parted. She felt as though she could devour him and she realized his other arm had gone under her and he was pulling her closer.

Their bodies came together, his arousal hard between them. It dug into her abdomen as she pressed herself against his granite-like thigh. Her hand flew to his bottom, kneading it, bringing it to her as she tried to maneuver into position. Unable to wait, she pulled him as she rolled onto her back. Suddenly, he was on top.

He was heavy and air rushed out of her lungs with a grunt but he quickly propped himself on his elbows and looked down at her.

"I mean it, Kahlan. We don't have to do this. I don't want you to feel like I pushed you- I love you." He smiled that shy little smile of his and it was irresistible.

Her hands went to his hips. She moved him sideways as she moved out from under him. He watched her intently as she sat up and turned to him. She began to swing one leg over him and, when he understood her intent, he quickly rolled to his back. As she straddled him, his hands went around her waist. Though his arousal had waned, she felt it throb once beneath her, directly on the sweet spot.

Her breath caught and she let her full weight sit against him. Again, it throbbed.

Both his hands moved to her breasts. For such large, strong hands, they were still soft. He gently squeezed and she suddenly felt his hips jerk upward as his arousal flared underneath her. She rode it, not wanting to lose contact with him. His hardness squirmed beneath her but she let her hips find the sweet spot over and over.

He began to thrust and, as he rubbed against her, she moaned at the feeling; he bucked convulsively. He cried out and she felt a long overdue clenching radiate up from their connection. It sped through her abdomen and fueled her hips as she ground against him. Something she hadn't even known was coiled was suddenly unwinding inside her. She closed her eyes and luxuriated in the warmth of it.

As her hips finally slowed, she opened her eyes and looked down at him and he was looking at her, his eyes completely unfocused.

The muscles of his neck were taut and his chest was heaving. His abdomen was rippling, as if he were trying to sit up and she realized he was still jerking his hips but spasmodically now and his entire midriff gleamed with the wetness that had shot from him.

As she unmounted him, his head fell back with a grunt and his arms sank into the bed. Although what she really wanted to do was nuzzle into him, she slowly got to her feet. Unsteady at first, she went to her wash station and fetched a cloth. When she came back to him, his eyes were closed but his diaphragm was still working hard. As she wiped him off, he seemed completely oblivious except for the small jerks that his pelvis made in response to her touch.

She tossed the cloth over her shoulder and quickly laid down beside him, embracing him the way she always imagined she would after they made love. She could feel his heart pounding beneath her touch, racing with hers in a way that made her body quake, quickly demanding more of him.

"Richard?"

His eyes opened and he turned his head toward her, meeting her eyes as she took in another breath. "I don't want him to touch you again." The raw emotion in his voice surprised her, but he didn't give her a chance to respond.

His hands moved with an urgency, pulling her against him. Although his arousal pushed into her, he didn't stop kissing her. His hands were all over her, the back of her neck, her lower back, her bottom, and her thighs. And then his hips moved.

As she struggled for a breath, she realized her hips were meeting his and she needed more. She pushed his chest with both hands and, as they separated, his mouth was still reaching for her.

They rolled together and she sat up on his midsection. His hands immediately found her breasts as she maneuvered backward. Slowly, carefully, she slid down to his arousal. As she touched him, he suddenly looked down as if he could see what was happening. Then she leaned forward, pressed into his hands, as she took part of him in.

The muscles in his neck went taut and his eyes opened wide. His mouth formed a perfect "O" but he didn't make a sound. He seemed frozen, his entire body gone rigid.

She continued her downward slide and closed her eyes, feeling only the fullness inside her, the stiffness of it, the pressure of it, and how her own body completely engulfed it. She slid back up again and she felt his hands around her waist, helping her. She was nearly to the very top when she started back down. His hands moved to her hips, pushing her down. She opened her eyes and found him still staring at the place where they were joined. She rose up again and his eyebrows worked furiously as several emotions flashed across his face–surprise, pleasure, and even pain. As she rose again and reached the top, she nearly went too far and there was a moment of panic as he nearly slipped out, but she was already moving back down when his hands firmly pushed.

She sank all the way to his groin and her back immediately arched. She sat up straight and pressed into him with her full weight. He groaned and suddenly thrust, lifting her with his pelvis as his abs quickly contracted.

Unable to slide up and down his length, her hips began to rock. He lowered her and then thrust again, quicker this time. She groaned as his hands went back to her breasts, squeezing. She leaned into him, pumping her hips now, feeling a familiar tightening.

Suddenly, he tilted his head back, closed his eyes, and arched his back incredibly high. She felt him thicken and knew that his climax was close. The sudden movement rocked her forward and she lay on top of his chest. As she slid back down the incline of his abdomen, she ground against him and she gasped. She clenched and he cried out.

He jerked beneath her, as his shoulders and hips rose together, but he was only there a moment before he suddenly lay back again and thrust. His arousal thudded into her and her hips began to move at a frenetic pace. Her abdomen clenched against her will and the heat spread outward like an explosion. His hips continued to thrust and she felt his rhythmic throbs deep inside her.

He grunted with the effort as his hands gripped her hips. She was riding him now and opening her eyes, she looking down. His chest was heaving and his head was thrown back, pressed into the white pillow. He was gorgeous, glistening, and, as she raked her fingers over his chest, she felt herself clench down hard.

His giant hands pinned her hips to his. He kept thrusting, propelling her prone body along his. His hips jerked, and thrust, and rocked as his breath came in ragged gasps. Still she hung on as her own climax unwound and then he started to relax. Slowly, she collapsed onto his chest and his hips jerked beneath her. Though he kept his hands on her hips, he didn't push down, knowing that soon she would hurry away and as the thought completed in his mind, she threw herself from his chest and nearly flew into the air as he magic tore free. She fell onto the bed beside him, her body shaking forcefully as she gasped for air, her eyes squeezed shut. She wanted to see him again, but she found she couldn't move.

Richard pulled her into his arms, smiling widely as he let his mind wrap around what they had just done. "Was that-"

"Yes," she said breathlessly. "Spirits, yes."

"You didn't lose-"

"I nearly did," she said quietly. "Richard, I-"

"You can tell me, Kahlan."

Pushing him onto his back, she rolled into his side, her hand coming to rest on his chest. "It took nearly everything within me to hold on as long as I did and I- I think that I did because I knew it was you. When I was with him, I didn't try as hard, because I knew it wasn't you."

Her words made sense and after a moment, they made him feel better. "I'm sorry, I-"

"I know."

"Richard?"

He jumped from his thoughts, dropping his spoon into the bowl, splashing its full contents onto the table. "Spirits, Zedd. How long have you been standing there?"

"Not long. I was looking for Kahlan."

"I haven't seen her since she went to meet with the council." Wiping the mess he made with the sleeve of his shirt, he frowned. "She's been in there for hours."

"She wasn't in the meeting, Richard."

The Seeker stood up at once, abandoning all other thoughts and actions as he turned to face his grandfather. "That's not possible. I saw her-"

"They waited over an hour before starting without her. She was to confirm-"

"That she spent last night with her mate," Richard finished the older man's sentence as he began walking past him and into the hallway. "I know. Zedd, she wouldn't have missed that meeting. We both know how important that was to her. She wouldn't have- We have to find her."

Hurrying after his grandson, Zedd struggled to keep up. "I've searched the palace-"

"Not well enough."

Richard turned down a hallway most never went, confusing the other man, but he knew something more. Before the couple had separated that morning, she had confided in him on her intentions to release the man she had claimed to be her mate. The thought pleased him more than he could express, but he knew the problem it would cause with the council. He didn't bother to knock as he came to James' room, stopping dead as he entered.

"I don't understand," he whispered as his grandfather stepped forward. "He's not supposed to leave this room unless she sends for him, right?"

"What makes you think she hasn't?"

"She wouldn't. Zedd, you have to gather the guards. Something's wrong."

"Richard-"

"Now, Zedd!" Pushing past him, Richard ran down the hallway, disappearing before he could be stopped.

He ran out into the garden, it being the only other place he could think to find her, calling her name again and again. He was greeted with silence, making his heart pound harder and stop at the same time. He knew her, knew she would never take another man and then disappear and there was only one thought that refused to leave his mind. Only one person would take them both and he would kill her for it.


	3. Chapter 3

Kahlan stared at the floor, watching her blood drip down and splatter upon the pool that collected beneath her. Her body ached, her neck frozen in the position, unable to move without more pain. The room was not dark, but her eyes found it difficult to see anything when she strained them to look around. Her wrists were chained above her head, her arms numb, but her shoulders ached as she swung slightly. She was cold, her dress had been ripped into pieces, barely covering her. There were no other sounds around her, leaving her mind to conclude that she was alone, but she couldn't be sure and she refused to believe anything she couldn't see.

She knew she should be worried, but she wasn't. No matter where she was or who held her, she couldn't help but think that she wouldn't be there long and any moment, she would hear his voice, telling her that she was safe; that he had found her.

It didn't happen as soon as she thought. Days passed and she was still there, trapped in place while she was beaten without a word. At times, she thought she had lost her hearing, but then the echo of someone's fist slamming into her would sound off and she'd hear herself groan. After some time, she heard them laugh, a sound she wished she couldn't hear. She demanded answers, wanting to know why they held her, but there was no reply. The men who held her seemed to grow desperate, whispering in a panic in the corner of the room, but she couldn't make out most of the words.

She lost her sight a day or two ago, she couldn't remember when and it made it more difficult to focus on her attempts to escape. They released her hands a few times, watching in laughter as she darted forward, a different direction each time, in an attempt to get free. She wouldn't make it more than a few steps before running into a wall or falling to the ground in horrific pain as her legs struggled to hold the weight of her. It was some kind of sport to them, they, however many there were, would cheer her on and then laugh when she could no longer move. They were the last sounds she heard as she lost consciousness.

She woke to a slap on her right cheek, her head swinging sideways as her body jerked forward in surprise. Straining to see, Kahlan fought against the darkness while listening to the person before her breathe heavily.

"What do you want from me?" she asked for what felt to be the billionth time.

She didn't expect an answer, but when one came, her blood went cold. "We don't want anything from you. We are doing what we were paid to do."

"Do you have any idea who I am?" she whispered, doing her best not to sound threatening. It was the first time she had been spoken to and a part of he was relieved to hear another voice.

"We are aware, yes. You're the Mother Confessor."

"If you release me now, I will not have you imprisioned."

"You're not in a position to say that," the man before her said coldly. "I'm sorry you have been here so long, we were expecting this to have been over quickly."

"Something go wrong with your plans?"

"There have been more obstacles than foreseen. The one who paid us had not arrived, needing to remain to avoid suspicion."

"Who?"

"Why would I tell you that?"

Tilting her head, she tried to find a way to read him, to fool him, but without being able to see, it was impossible. "Why not? I am to die here, am I not? I deserve to know at who's hands the final blow comes from."

"You may not wish to know. I am sorry, Mother Confessor, for the reason we hold you is not one I feel you should die for. It is your way."

"What is?"

"I've given you all of the information you seek, you will have more than enough time to put the pieces together."

She heard him begin to walk away and suddenly she found herself calling out for him. "No! Wait! Please stay... Who are you?"

"I- You do not wish to know who I am, trust me."

"I cannot trust a man with no name."

"I'm sorry, I must go. They will return in a few minutes and you should prepare. They've created a new game."

From the way he spoke, she knew instantly that whatever it was they had created, it was not going to be easy. "Wait!" She heard him pause, but remain quiet, almost making her question if he was still there. "If I did something against you, against any of you-"

"Your punishment is not for something against us. We are merely the tools used to bring it to you. Please, when they return, do not speak. Your voice is as attractive as the rest of you and I am certain that they wish to- When they unchain you, run right, it will end their game much quicker."

Without thought, she nodded. "Thank you."

She didn't know why she trusted him, she could not see into his eyes and could not be sure he spoke the truth, but the way he said it all, it reminded her of something Richard had once told her. 'The way someone speaks can show a lie, the eyes cannot always be seen.' She almost smiled at the memory, the sound of his voice returning to her mind for a moment. She wished he was there. He would come, she told herself. He always came.

Her her legs were lowered to the ground, her arms released and before she had a moment to find her balance, she rushed to her right. She felt herself run by someone, he gasped as he stepped back, but she didn't stop. With another two steps, she fell, splashing into some kind of pool. The men grumbled in anger as she emerged for a breath, hands on her shoulders at once. Coughing, she tried to understand what happened, wishing she could see as she listened to the other men.

"She can't do it if she's wet. Someone dry her!"

"I'll do it," a familiar voice said, silencing the others. Those who held her before released her shoulders, dropping her to the floor. "Get me some towels."

They were alone in a few minutes and whoever she had spoken to before helped her back to her chains, though he didn't lock her away. He was gentle, surprising her with each movement. The towel was pressed to her face, dabbing the water away instead of wiping with the rough surface of the cloth. The man moved down her neck and over her arms, trying to remove as much of the water as possible. After a several minutes, he sighed, dropping his hands to his sides.

"I need to take off your dress." She began moving backward, trying to get away from him, but being unable to see made it difficult to move quick enough and he had her arm instantly. "Don't do that."

"Please, don't..."

"If I don't remove it, they will tear it from your body and the act alone will fuel their desires for you."

"Seeing me naked-"

"Will not help you, but you will not freeze to death in a cold, wet dress. Do not fight me and I will do my best to keep them from touching you."

"You can't stop them, can you?"

"I don't know," he told her honestly. "You're more attractive than every other we've held. I'm surprised none had taken you the instant the metal touched your neck." He pulled her closer, his own hand traveling slowly up her arm, making her fear his next action. "You're a very beautiful woman." She swallowed as his hands grabbed the laces of her dress and pulled. As what was left of her dress fell to her waist, she held her breath, afraid. "They'll return soon. I need to hurry."

She had been naked for days, hanging from the ceiling as men gathered around her. They touched her skin, making her cringe and not from the pain of their rough hands on her still bleeding wounds. None had taken her, a thought she made sure to focus on as the hours past. The idea of what could happen made her fear her position even more and if if they took her, she would never be able to look the man she loved in the eye again.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a slap to the face, shaking her body completely. "I asked you a question, Confessor!" She gasped as he stepped forward, his bare chest pushing against hers while he wrapped her arms around her. "The man you've taken to your bed, how did he feel above you?"

She suddenly felt brave, thinking of what she and Richard had done. "I don't know," she said in a voice that was more seductive than she intended. "I sat above him with a loud cry of pleasure." She was shocked by her own words, but the fact she couldn't see him made it easier to speak.

The man tightened his hold on her for a moment and then jumped back, unable to stop himself from laughing. "You are a rare woman, aren't you?"

"You cannot imagine."

He was pressed against her again, his lips lightly grazing hers. "Show me."

"I'm afraid you fall short for the pleasures I desire."

The man ran his tongue over her chin, nipping at the skin. "You can't see what I have for you."

With every ounce of strength she had, she pushed forward, into the man with a soft moan. "I can feel everything you have to offer. It's not enough to please a hole in the ground."

She thought he'd be angry with her words, but he didn't do any of the things she expected him to. "I assure you Mother Confessor, I can provide a pleasure you will never forget."

Her mind rushed through a series of thoughts, actions and words that could keep him from showing her what he could do. There were so many possibilities and each one seemed to end the same way. Making a quick decision, she let to of herself, making her drift a little ways from him. "How many women have you taken?"

"Enough to know their cries will be replaced with yours."

"I asked for a number," she said calmly, her Confessor's voice ringing free.

"Nineteen."

She smiled, leaning forward as to appear to be a reward for answering her question. "And how many times were each pleased?"

With her mouth so close to his, he answered instantly. "Many. I could not have then once alone."

Kahlan grabbed the man's top lip with her teeth, pulling gently for a moment before letting it go free. "Were you within them?"

"Not each time. My mouth and fingers can bring just as much pleasure."

She was almost giddy now, surprising herself that she had taken it this far and what was more, she enjoyed pretending to be a woman he desired. She didn't understand what had gotten into her, but it was the first time in a while that she felt something other than pain. It was more welcoming and as long as she wasn't taken, there was no crime against Richard. "Can they?"

"Yes."

"Show me." The words left her mouth before she could stop them and then suddenly she began to regret them. If he was concentrated on something else, anything else, she would be spared a few more moments.

He responded quickly, his mouth touching her neck, his hands on her breasts and it was then her plan began to work. The man grew frustrated instantly, her body swinging back each time he tried to do something more to her. With a growl, he held her as still as possible with his left hand while rushing his right over her. Grabbing her breast, he tried to lick the other, failing as she hung before him.

"Don't stop," she panted as his hold loosened, doing what was needed to gain his full attention. "Spirits," she moaned and gasped, imagining another's hands upon her.

Her reactions fueled his mind, keeping him going with the thought that she was his. He was pushing into her, growling as though she were his prey and he was in the middle of tearing her apart. With a slow roll of his hips against her, he turned her away, his chest hiring her back and their skin touching between the strands of her hair. His hands held her breasts firmly, his body pressed into hers while she leaned into his touch.

"What are you doing?!" His hands were gone in an breath, her body jerking forward as he shoved her from himself, moving away as someone else came closer. "She is not to be touched! We were given orders Braes! She is not to be-"

"I will do as I please!" the man beside her shouted back. "We can have this woman, no one will know. We can take her again and again, she will never know what we've done with her. She-"

"I don't know."

"You've touched her, you've felt- We can have her, together."

The room was dead silent for a few moments, Kahlan's mind screaming so loud, she was almost afraid they would hear. She was terrified of what would happen, afraid that she had gone too far and that she would know more pain within a few moments.

"Cover her with something."

Richard stepped back from the small woman before him, covered in her blood. He had begun questioning her weeks before and with each passing day, the woman remained silent. The smile on her face made him angrier than imaginable and after a week, he lost control. The woman had answers. She knew where the woman he loved was being held and then on top of it all, she taunted him with a wicked smile. Each moment with her, he found himself imagining the worst and every thought became heavier than the one before. Jessica had plotted against her from the moment she lost her husband and the Seeker would not rest until she received justice.

His heart broke each time he asked a question, gaining no answers at any moment, bringing them all closer to their deaths. He swore to find her, but having no knowledge on where to start made it was nearly impossible. After Kahlan had been taken, he spent days searching the area, hoping to find some trace of her, but there were none. It was difficult to believe she had gone willingly, leaving him more concerned at the lack of evidence suggesting a struggle.

Taking a step toward his prisoner, Richard cleared his throat, making sure his words were clear. "Tell me where she is and I will stop." The woman remained quiet, staring up at him with beaten and half swollen eyes. "This can end and you can go free."

"Do you believe me to be a fool?" Jessica whimpered in pain. "Once I tell you where she is, you will kill me."

Richard's head tilted, the same motion the Mother Confessor's did when she received a desired reaction. "You have now admitted to knowing where she is. I will tell you now that the pain you have felt until this moment has been a mercy for I did not know for sure you were behind this. You have taken the woman I love away from me and I get her back, if I have to tear your body apart limb by limb, slowly and surely. You will feel true pain, one I promise you never thought possible."

She stared up at him, now in a horror he was glad to see. Her body, once shaking in pain, now shook in fear and then he knelt down, bringing his face close to hers. "This," he whispered, lifting a familiar dagger. "This belongs to the Mother Confessor, it only seems right to have it aid in your pain."

"You are a cruel man."

"When someone threatens the life of someone I love. I am a Rahl, as you know. There may be no limits to my cruelty." The words made him sick as he spoke them, but he made sure it didn't show. She was becoming putty in his hands and soon, finally, he would have what he needed to find her. If he was being honest, he didn't care what he did to her as long as it brought Kahlan back to him. "I will not kill you, but when I am done for the day, you will pray to the Spirits to take you."

She was stronger than he imagined, holding on to her information as he cut into her skin, slicing slowly at fist, but knowing Kahlan wouldn't want her to suffer for her actions, he moved quicker with the bladde. The movement quickly made him want to vomit as her screams echoed around him. He had never been this kind of man and he hated to become the evil he swore to protect the people from, but he had exhausted every other option. The map he had made, the magic tied to her could not be found and after searching nearly every home in the city, he had run out of ideas.

Jessica had been taken to their prison the very day Kahlan had gone missing and he had hoped that by siting in there alone she would wish to talk, but the time never came. He then ran through the city, demanding to know who had taken the woman he loved, but again, he received no answers. For a city that always seemed to be awake, its people roaming around at all hours, he found it hard to believe that none of them had seen anything and after some time thinking, he thought they were all in on it. It made sense to him, that the people would take her, that they wished to live without a leader, but they were terrified of her, he couldn't make himself believe they would be brave enough to take her captive. No, he knew that if they wanted her gone, he would have found her body laying somewhere with a few bolts in her chest.

Cowards, he called the city, hating them all for failing to protect their leader. He was no better, he reminded himself at every turn. If he had stayed by her side and insisted that he accompany her to the meeting, she would still be there and she would be safe. If he had done what he always promised, he would have held her in his arms every night for the past two weeks. As the second week passed, he found that there was nothing more he could do to the woman he tortured, nothing that would bring him answers instead of killing her and as the time passed, he found the idea more and more appealing.

He held off only because of two reasons. One, he didn't want to lose the chance she may talk and two, he knew the punishment of her death, though he believed it to be just, Kahlan would disagree. She was always surprising him with her kindness, her heart being stronger and wider than anyone he had ever known and instead of rushing into a decision, she pondered on it, confided in someone she trusted and after some thought, she would then open her mouth for an answer. That was one of the things he loved about her, one of the many that held his mind as he fought himself from cutting the other woman's throat.

Exhausted, he squatted before her, dropping the dagger in the side of his boot. "Please tell me where she is."

"Why does she mean so much to you?"

"I love her."

With a heavy set of tears, Jessica shook her head. "She cannot know love. She's taken my husband."

Richard sighed, pitying the woman before him. "She never wanted to and it pained her to keep him from you. You people think she does things carelessly and that they do not bother her, but you are all wrong. She wanted to give him back to you, she spent hours with him, talking about his feelings for you and it pained her. She hated that she had taken such a love from you and if she could have given him back to you without killing herself, she would. She was afraid you wouldn't understand and I guess you may never, but it was never her intention to harm him. Do you know why she chose him to be her mate?"

"She is heartless."

"She chose him because of how he spoke of you and his children. She saw the man you knew; the man you love and she wanted it to be passed on. If he gave her a child, can you imagine the traits of his she would have? The kindness, the... She chose him to help the world, not to destroy yours."

"I love him," she whimpered, turning her head into the stone floor she laid on. "I cannot go on without him."

"And I cannot go on without Kahlan."

"How can you love her? She's taken my husband to her bed."

Richard's first thought was to tell her that he, too, had been in her bed, but she made it clear the morning they awoke together that could never be shared. "She wanted to know how it felt," he whispered painfully. "A Confessor has never known the love you and your husband shared, she asked him to show her how much he loved you. She may have taken him into her bed, but she was able to experience something I can never give her. She felt what it's like to be with someone who loves her. I am grateful your husband was able to give her that. It doesn't make me love her any less."

"Grateful?"

"Everyone should experience that kind of love; Kahlan is no different."

"She's a Confessor," the other woman spat.

"She's a woman. She is no different than you; she has a heart and she loves... If you wanted to blame someone for what happened to your husband, you should blame me. If she could take me, she would."

"She can take whoever she pleases."

"If you were her, would you be able to destroy the man you love?"

"She took the man I love."

"That wasn't my question."

"I would do whatever it took to be with the man I love."

"I noticed."

"I won't tell you where she is. I can't."

"Why?"

Staring at the ground, she grit her teeth. "I will have my husband back."

"I won't let her die."

"You can't stop it."

"I won't stop trying."

"You're a fool."

"I'm not the one chained to the floor."


	4. Chapter 4

"What's your name?" Kahlan asked as a familiar hand wiped the blood from the corner of her mouth. The man removed his hand, keeping silent as he stared at her. "I recognize your touch," she added quietly. She needed him to believe that she was growing to care for him, that somehow it was, he, she enjoyed the most.

"Thomas."

She smiled weakly, wishing she had more strength to continue her plan, but she had just endured a short play with their fists and hungry hands. "Strong name."

"For a strong man," he replied without pause.

Leaning into his touch, she gave a soft purr, one she was sure he noticed when he stepped closer. "I have no doubt."

"I am not to have you."

"They don't have to know." She gave a crooked smile, wishing she could use her eyes to add to the effect, desperately wanting to see the look in his. "I'll do my best to be quiet."

He groaned loudly, his mouth coming to her chin, nipping at it through the blood as his hands held her hips. His name left her lips in a quiet, heated moan and suddenly he was against her, hurrying to unchain her arms. She was weaker than she intended, forcing her to lean into him as he lowered her to the ground. Her plan had been to run when her feet touched the floor, but she couldn't feel her legs, even as she felt him rip the thin dress she wore. She held his head to her as his kissed her chest, trying to buy herself some time to figure out her next move. With a soft moan every few seconds, she kept him busy, her body slightly pushing up against him until she knew what to do.

Using all of her strength, she rolled over him and sat up, giving him a moment to stare up at her as she ran her hands over his chest. She held the illusion, smiling while discovering him, wishing she could see something. He held her thighs, but from his grip, she assumed he had his eyes closed and she pushed forward. Her chest pressed against his as she pulled at his hands, moving them up until they were above his head. He didn't fight her like she thought he would, instead, he remained still and allowed her to do what she wanted.

Reaching between them, she slipped ehr hand inside his pants, taking him in her hand and as slowly as possible, she pulled. He moaned loudly, telling her how to continue and before he could form thoughts, he was spasming beneath her. When his body went limp, she leaned back down and slowly ran her tongue over his chin.

"You're mine," he panted, grabbing her arms.

Locking her jaw, Kahlan nodded. "Yours." Sitting up again, she grabbed his hands and moved them over her, letting them linger on her breasts.

"No woman has done that before."

"What?"

"Taken care of me- My pleasure over theirs."

Using the smile she wore for another, she brought her face back to his, her hands holding his cheeks. "It wasn't terrible for me either."

"Your mate, did you do that to him?"

She was grateful he was specific on who he meant, she wasn't sure she could lie if he asked if she had done the same action with the man she took to her bed. She had with Richard, twice and she was glad that she had, it may have saved her from enduring something more horrific. "No."

"What did you do?"

"Focused on my own pleasure."

"Why?"

There was something in his voice, it was captivating in its sadness and she couldn't stop herself from wanting to make him feel better. "His hands didn't make me feel the way yours did."

"How-"

"I didn't have a choice to be with him."

"Does that matter?"

"Yes." It was a simple answer and she didn't hesitate when she spoke it. "Have you never- You've never given a woman a chance to chose you, have you?" She began to pity the man beneath her and as she regained her strength, she almost hated what she was going to do to him.

"No."

Wiggling above him, she continued to smile. "You should try it," she told him, moving his hands over her legs.

"I have you."

"Until your boss returns."

"Maybe she won't kill you," he said softly and suddenly she knew who had ordered it all.

"She will. She wants her husband back, I must die for him to return to her."

He touched her cheek, gently rubbing his thumb across it. "I'm sorry."

Her smile weakened as she nodded. "Me too."

"You don't seem surprised."

"I'm not. I understand how she feels."

"What do you mean?"

Slouching above him, she sighed, continuing to look into the darkness of her vision. "I love someone, too. There's not a lot I wouldn't do to be with him again."

"Me?" he questioned in sadness. "You did this to me to get back to him?"

"Yes."

His hands fell to the floor at her reply. "You love him?"

"More than anything."

"But you can't have him."

Shrugging her shoulders, she moved off of him, remaining at his side. "No."

"Does he love you?" She nodded, unable to speak it out loud. "How can you be sure?"

"Because he came to me after I was with another man."

"Would he be looking for you?"

"I have no doubt."

"But he hasn't found you."

"And your master hasn't arrived. He probably has her in the dungeons, working to get answers. He will find me, I just don't know when."

"How long will you wait?"

"If I didn't escape? Forever."

"Who is this man to make you sure he will come?"

"The Seeker."

He jumped forward, pulling her dress closed to hide her body from his eyes. "The Lord Rahl?"

"He doesn't like to be called that."

"Spirits!" he nearly shouted, lifting her from the ground as he, too, stood. "He will kill us all! He will kill us for this foolish woman's actions! You have to go. Run-"

"I can't see-"

Pushing her across the room, he brought her several feet before holding her still. It was quiet as he looked through the door, making sure they were alone before moving on. It wasn't long before she felt sunlight on her skin and smelt the fresh air. She was in the middle of a forest, the smell familiar, but distant. They were in a small city, the one on the other side of Hartland, the land she had crossed before reaching the boundary.

"I cannot go with you. They will suspect- You will have to move slower than before and you must be quiet." Turning her by the shoulders, he gave a gentle push. "Run, I don't know when the others will-"

"Thomas! What are you doing?! Lock her-"

"You have to go, run!"

Kahlan started running instantly, tripping twice to start. She held her arms out, using them to tell her when a tree was near, though she was moving too fast to stop if there was one before her. She could hear someone calling for her, but she couldn't be sure of the direction it came in. Her wounds were beginning to open, bleeding out with each step and then suddenly it hit her.

She stumbled to the ground with a cry of pain, a thick arrow ripping through her right shoulder. It took her an extra moment to get back to her feet, making her move even slower than before and she could swear she heard Richard's voice. She called out for him, praying he heard her, that he was somehow close by and had come to rescue her.

Another arrow flew into her, followed by another, her legs giving out and sending her face first into the mud. The cool feeling surprised her, not knowing when it had rained and realizing that she had been held longer than she thought. Before she could get back to her feet, she was surrounded and from the kick to the face, she knew it wasn't her rescue.

"You are in love with the Seeker?" It was the first thing she heard when she woke up. The man's voice was hard, painful on her ears and she feared him instantly. "I hear you expect him to come for you." It wasn't a question, but she couldn't help but think he paused for an answer. "We will be ready for him if he comes, though my scouts tell me he hasn't left your home. He's not looking for you, why would he? I'm sure he knows the possibilities of what we have done to you, you're used and unwanted." His hand was suddenly on her neck, sliding down over her breasts. "If you hadn't run, you wouldn't have had to worry about what we would do to you." He laughed, it was cruel and froze her blood, a reaction she hadn't expected. "We were not to touch you unless you misbehaved and, Mother Confessor, you are going to experience my punishment first."

He took a step back, confusing her, but she quickly thought his next action would be to hit her in some way and she looked forward to it, but what she heard changed it all. He was removing his clothes and she suddenly felt sick. "You are much better looking than the farmer's daughters we are usually holding. In fact," he added in a quieter tone. "I've wanted you from the moment I locked you in here and now... You are going to know how it feels to be taken by a man."

Gritting her teeth, Kahlan lifted her head, trying to straighten her back as she hung from the ceiling. "Are you going to bring one in here?" She received the response she hoped for. He hit her, hard and for a moment, she smiled. "I will assume that to mean yes. Your hands are much too soft to have anything to offer a woman. Go on, find someone who can show me what a man is. I will wait."

She lost consciousness a few moments later, his anger taking effect as he slammed his fists into her face and chest.

He was laying above her in a heavy pant when she awoke, his manhood slipping out of her as he roughly scrapped his fingers against her sides. "I was right," she nearly cried. "You weren't even good enough to wake me in pleasure."

"I am not nearly finished with you. You've taken one man to your bed, you do not know the things one can do that will- When I am done with you, no man will be able to look upon your face." He waited for her new taunt, he witty response, but instead, she nodded and waited in silence.

He choked her instantly, squeezing one of his hands around her throat, while the other raced between her legs. He was rough, making her cry out in pain between a cough and gasp for air. It seemed to last for hours, but he stopped suddenly and she felt herself go limp. His hand didn't relax on her throat, squeezing harder as he moved over her. She struggled beneath him, trying to keep him from coming closer, but she was no match for his strength. The cry of pain that escape her was loud and cut off by his mouth smothering hers.

She reacted quickly, biting his tongue roughly until he pulled back to hit her once more. The man didn't pause his movements, making sure to become rougher as the moments passed. He began to laugh, making her tears fall harder at the sound. Releasing her throat, he grabbed at her body, pulling, jerking and biting until she gave in and stopped fighting. She couldn't be sure on how long he continued, but the moment he finished, she threw up.

The man jumped from her as she spit out the small contents of her stomach, the tiny ounce of water they had given her. Coughing, she tried to roll over, doing her best to keep the next from landing on her chest as the one before. He held her still, forcing her to choke as she tried to find a breath, her body giving in and spasming roughly until she lost consciousness.

"I cleaned you up as best as I could. There's- We don't know how to fix the wounds. They won't stop bleeding. He... He finished an hour ago."

"How long?"

Thomas sighed, wiping the side of her mouth with a damp cloth. "A few hours. How do you feel?"

"Numb," she whispered painfully.

Pushing her hair from her face, he frowned. "He won't come back tonight and the- The others won't touch you until he gives permission. He's fond of you."

"I noticed."

"I'm sorry."

"Thank you... You didn't have to-"

"I nearly did the same to you."

"But you didn't."

"No, but I-"

"It's alright," she whispered. It was difficult to speak to him as she rocked naked from the ceiling. He could see her and she saw nothing, unable to see into his eyes and find the man he was. "Not doing something shows just as much as doing it."

"I-"

"Did they hurt you?" she asked quietly. "When you let me go."

"No. They won't, they can't."

Licking her lips, she then let out a soft cry. "You're her son, aren't you? You're James' son?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not angry with you," he said softly. "Not the way my mother is."

"Why?"

"Because I understand what happened. I can see it differently." With a sigh, he began wiping her face again. "You didn't take him because you wanted to. He fought against you and I heard why you chose him. I don't think you did anything wrong. Who wouldn't want a man like him to father their children?"

"Thomas, I-"

"He would be honored. I know my mother believes you've committed murder, but he wouldn't."

"I'm sorry I took him from you."

"I know, but you're not the worst he could have."

"I'm sorry."

"You've already said that."

"It doesn't make it any less true."

"Then, I'm sorry for what Michael did to you."

"Thank you."

"You're bleeding again."

"How bad are they?"

"They're fine."

"Liar."

He smiled, even though she couldn't see him, making him want to laugh. "How do you know?"

"The sound of your voice."

He remained quiet for a few minutes, pushing a cloth against her stomach for a moment and then to another place the next. From the way he moved and the soft sighs he released, she could almost see herself and she couldn't help but wonder how much longer she would survive. She was numb when she awoke, but now she felt it all. She could feel each cut ever made on her skin, every bruise and hole as though they were just being created. Feeling the blood drip down was surprisingly a relief, a feeling that was the first one that wasn't painful.

"If he comes for you, they will kill him. They won't get paid without you."

"She won't come. He won't release her until he's found me."

"He won't release her, even if he does find you. I've heard stories about the Seeker, he's ruthless when someone harms someone he cares for."

"You can end this, Thomas."

"I can't." He took a few steps back, removing all contact with her. "He won't be awake for a few hours, you should rest. He'll come here first."

"Thomas, please-"

"There's nothing I can do."

She listened to him walk from the room, the sound seeming to break a part of her. The room was cold, telling her through the slight breeze that it had rained the night before and that any evidence of her near escape would be destroyed, keeping Richard from ever finding it. The memory of her brief escape replayed in her mind and she was sure she heard his voice calling her name. For a moment, as she fell to the ground, she thought she was saved, that he had found her. Now, she hung from the ceiling once again, naked and bloody. She was ruined and if he did find her, how could he look at her? How could he love her?

She felt her tears begin to fall down her cheeks, raining down as she thought about him finding her this way. He would know what was done to her with one look and she could imagine the expression on his face, the tone of his voice when he tried to convince her that it was alright, that he still loved her. It was who he was and he would do anything to make himself believe his own words, not wanting to hurt her, but it was inevitable. The man hadn't taken her only once, a fact she knew very well, one she knew would ruin his feelings for her.

"You're awake." Her head jerked up in horror, fearing the sound of his approaching footsteps. "I'm glad. I thought I was going to play with your lifeless body again."

"I must have fallen asleep."

"After you began to enjoy it." He smiled, his hands coming to her sides. "Your body cannot hide what it wants. The pain mixes with the pleasure and you welcome it all. Even as you laid there, you wanted more. I gave you everything you could ever desire."

"And yet, I was pushed into sleep."

"Not today." She gasped as he touched her, his fingers roughly pushing into her before escaping and coming to her breast. "You are going to please me. When I lower you to the ground, you will remain on your knees. Do you understand?"

"Yes." She nodded in understanding, hoping if she obeyed, he wouldn't be as rough.

Michael unchained her hands when she knelt before him, remaining still as he stepped closer. "Unlace my pants and open your mouth."

Kahlan laid beneath him, breathless as he held his weight on her. He collapsed minutes ago and had yet to move away, his breath coming as difficultly as hers. She gave in moments after he began, allowing him to do as he pleased while she forced herself to stop wanting to cry out for the man she loved. She could see his face as though it was he above her and it made it easier, for a breath.

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't picture doing those things with him, being rough and held down. Each thing he did was so far from what she had experienced with Richard and with every action it was made clearer.

Michael lifted his head, pulling her from her thoughts. "How long were you going to let me lay here?"

"I don't believe I was given an option."

"Would you like one?"

"If I asked you to move, would you?"

"That would depend," he smiled, snuggling closer in the most gentle of ways. "Do you want me to?"

"No." She surprised herself with her quick reply, but she knew what would happen if she answered differently. These men were different than the ones she knew, they enjoyed her struggle and lost most of their interest when she was compliant.

He was moving off of her instantly, letting her breathe. She gasped unwillingly, sucking in as much air as possible. "Sit up." When she did as he told her, he pulled her to him, her chest coming to his. He held her to him, moving her around until she was comfortable in his lap. "Your heart is racing."

"I know."

"You're starting to enjoy this." With a quick nip to her bottom lip, he smiled. "Rock forward." She did so without hesitation, a low moan escaping them both. "Again, harder. Use the darkness you see, imagine him. Think of how his hands would touch you, his body wanting and the way yours... Yes, that's better-" He groaned loudly, leaning back slightly as she moved carelessly above him.

She held his shoulders to remain steady, but unlike she did with Richard, she kept her face away from his. After a few motions she could feel his arms around her and his lips on her neck, moving gently over her as though it was his love pouring into her. She was sure she should feel guilty, but she didn't, she couldn't feel anything other than pleasure and after everything else she had gone through, it was welcomed. She was gone before another breath, the Seeker's name on her lips.

Michael held her hips, firmly holding her against him as he gave into his release. "Mother Confessor, I believe you enjoyed that." She could hear the smile on his lips, the pleasure lingering. "That's nothing to be ashamed of. I told you I could give you-"

"I'm not ashamed," she interrupted quickly.

"You look-"

"I'm tired. I didn't expect to put so much effort into our time together."

He grabbed her face, keeping it still as their lips connected and he lowered her back to the ground. There was no space between them and she quickly found herself returning his kiss before her body began moving against his.

"Spirits, you have an appetite, don't you?"

Her arms fell to the floor, realizing the hold she had on him. "No, I-"

"There's no shame in it," he chuckled. "Why shouldn't you experience some pleasure? Would your Seeker blame you for finding comfort-"

"Don't bring him into this," she said softly.

Moving his hands over her, Michael beamed. "You think he'd be angry with you? For what we've done, the way I've filled you time and time again?"

"Yes."

"Because he wants you?"

"Not anymore," she told him as she fought her tears. It was all coming back to her, his face in her mind and the way he would look at her after she told him what she had done. He would hate her and she wasn't sure she could survive it. "Who wants a woman who has been taken, who's crawled onto another man and allowed herself to feel the pleasure of it?"

"No one."

Nodding, she folded her arms over her chest, blocking them from his sight as he sat up and began to redress. "The woman you go home to, does she mind what you do with your prisoners?"

"What makes you believe I have a woman to-"

"I can feel the ring on your hand."

"No, she doesn't. It's meaningless, she knows I'll return to her."

"I'm glad," Kahlan whispered, sitting up. She could hear him beside her, lacing his pants slowly, waiting for whatever she may ask next. "Why didn't you let me bleed to death in the forest? She would have her husband back, you would have been paid-"

"We were instructed to keep you alive. She is the one who will end your life."

"And if she doesn't return?"

"We will discuss what to do with you."


	5. Chapter 5

"You're running out of skin. How much longer do you expect to last?"

Richard held a long pole in his hand, one with the Aydindril seal on the end. He spent over three hours trading it between the fire and her skin, making sure she would always remember who she had betrayed. He thought it would be more difficult, but as the moments past, it became easier and easier, knowing it may be the only way he would find the woman he loved. He was rapidly approaching her face and he knew that soon she would talk, she would give him what he wanted and the moment she did, he was fairly certain he would kill her.

Pressing the pole to her neck, he held it firmly as she screamed in pain, thriving off of the sound until she at last gave in an mumbled something other than an insult to his attempts to open her mouth.

"I don't know where they've taken her!" The words left her mouth through a cry, her body trembling before him. "I was to meet with one of the men after they had secured her."

"Where?!"

"The tavern on the edge of the city! Stop it! I've told you what you wanted to know!"

"You've given me nothing! The woman I love is being held somewhere and you've waisted my time! You selfish woman!" Dropping the pole, he reached for his sword, raising it high as he took a step back for a better angle.

"I'm sorry Sir, but this just arrived for you."

Richard stopped and instantly turned, surprised to be handed a bloody cloth. Opening it carefully, he returned the sword to its scabbard and rushed from the cell. "Lock it up, we can't have her escape. The Mother Confessor will return."

"Open it," he said over his shoulder as he stuffed one of Kahlan's dresses into his travel pack. "Someone wrote on it."

"Kahlan?"

"No. Zedd, that's her blood. I can't let her stay there any longer. I have to-"

"How can you be sure the blood is hers? Richard this could be a trap."

"Of course it's a trap," he snapped. "But she's there and I'm going after her. If I have to kill every person who steps in front of me, I will and I won't stop until she's safe. I've told her men to ready themselves, we leave in a few minutes. You should hurry."

"Richard-"

"She'll need you to heal her, I can't lose her- Zedd, get ready."

"Do you think it's wise to walk into their trap?"

"How- How can you ask me that? You know how I feel about her."

"And perhaps that is why you should think this through. You are walking into a trap and you don't even know if Kahlan is there."

Pulling on the travel pack, Richard walked past his grandfather. "She's there, the blood was still wet when someone wrote on the cloth. I don't care if they're waiting for me to arrive, they will not be expecting the hundred soldiers I'm taking with us. She's been there for two months, I won't wait- I can't leave her there any longer. I can't let her go through anything more. I've already let her down, I will not do it again."

He stopped at the door and turned on his heels, walking back to her wardrobe and reaching inside. Pulling out another travel pack, he almost smiled as he remembered the day she had made it. She had told him that she always wanted one ready, just in case anything ever happened and she needed to leave quickly. He questioned her on its contents and he could still see the smile on her face as she turned toward him with her reply. She told him that he would have to go with her to see what was inside and it had been in that moment, he knew that she wanted him to stay with her.

"These aren't getting any better." Thomas whispered as he cleaned a few of her wounds. "He hasn't made it easy on you, on them."

"I can't feel them anymore."

"I don't imagine you feel very much anymore. He knows how to brake people in very different ways."

"Are they infected?"

He sighed, understanding why she was changing the subject. "Yes, most of them. I don't think there is very much I can do." Laying the damp cloth over her stomach, he dropped his hands in his lap. "You're the first he stopped chaining."

"He knows I can't see my way out of here and he assures me you will no longer help."

"I sent word to him."

She jerked forward at his words, coming closer as she found his face with her hands. "What?"

"Your Seeker. I-" Lowering his voice, he brought his hands to her hips. "I sent him something that should lead him here." She kissed him, quickly and fully, smiling as he pulled back. "I can do no more."

"Thank you."

"Get back before he comes in to see you like this. He will-"

"I know; I'm sorry." Moving off of him, she lowered herself carefully back to the floor. "I- Thank you."

"I don't know how long your wounds- Your shoulder is swelling, I can see the infection beneath the skin, the same as your leg. The arrows must have been venenum. They've been known to use them to slow the- Your Seeker must get here before another week passes or you... I'm afraid you will not survive past it."

"I'll survive as long as I need to. He'll find me."

"You talk about him the way my mother did of my father."

"I love him."

"I know." Pushing on her shoulders, he helped her lay back, hoping that it would stop the pressure on her wounds. "I can slow the bleeding for a little while, but when Michael returns for you, they will rip far more."

"I know," she whispered. "He likes it that way."

"Why do you let him-"

"Because I'm afraid of what he would do if I tried to stop him."

"You're a brave woman."

"I'm terrified."

"Of him?"

"Of what I've done with him."

"It won't change the way the Seeker feels about you."

"Yes, it will." Thomas smiled weakly, pushing against another one of her wounds. "He hasn't raped me in days. I've allowed him to- I've taken control and I... When he learns what I've done, he will despise me."

"You're wrong."

"I can't see him feeling any other way. I've betrayed him."

"You protected yourself."

"I crawled onto another man."

"He will understand."

Shaking her head, she covered her face with her hands. "I can't believe I've done this to him."

"He won't see it the way you do."

"How can you sound so sure?"

"Because of the way you talk about him. The only thing that will bother him is that he couldn't protect you. You don't have to tell him what happened."

"I can't hide it from him. He's going to know what happened the instant he sees me."

"I don't think he will see past the wounds. It's hard to look past them." Moving the cloth to another wound, he pushed a little rougher, stopping the blood for a moment. "He won't question anything you say."

"I can't lie to him."

Releasing the bloody cloth, he nodded. "I'm sorry."

"Me too."

"You're not very playful today." Kahlan remained quiet as Michael ran his hands over her chest, her mind now completely on the upcoming rescue. "What's wrong with you?"

"I can't feel anything below my neck," she whispered, hoping it would be a working explanation.

"Can you feel my touch?"

Nodding, she forced a smile. "But I can't make myself move to help."

It was quiet for a moment and she began to fear what he was thinking, but suddenly, he grabbed her breasts. "I suppose you're allowed to enjoy my pleasures for a while." He continued moving his hands over her, more gently than ever before and she couldn't help the soft moan that escaped her throat. "When you took your mate, did you wish he touched you like this?"

Shaking her head, she sighed. "I didn't know what to want."

"Now you do."

"Yes," she agreed quietly, losing herself in his actions. "Harder... Please." The smile that came to his lips echoed around her, making her positive she was doing the right thing. Before, when she had taken control, she gave him orders, small ones that he never failed to go through and now that she wasn't above him, she feared her control had gone. "Spirits..."

His hands and lips covered her chest, breasts and stomach, never slowing as she ordered more. He gladly did as she asked, biting at her skin between kisses, holding her breasts in his mouth until he needed a breath of air.

"Lower," she gasped, his tongue dipping into her bellybutton. He let loose a low growl and moved down, trailing his fingers over her until he could no longer take his own torture.

Bringing his mouth to hers, Michael let her pull on his bottom lip with her teeth, a soft moan escaping them both as he positioned himself above her. He wanted her to touch him, to hold his shoulders to her as she had done before, but she didn't. Her body hadn't moved since he begun and it was starting to bother him. Taking one of her hands, he brought it to his face, pushing her fingers up into his hair as though it was something she always did. When she began to pant, he dropped her arm and lifted himself up higher and began to thrust harder. He watched her carefully, enjoying the sight of her beneath him, her head pushed back and a shallow breath on her lips. He wouldn't admit it, but it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

He grew frustrated at the lack of her touch, the missing hands on his hips that told him when to move faster and harder. The feel of her legs wrapping around him as she raked her nails down his arms, he wanted it back and she could give none. With a loud grunt, he reached between them, changing the angle as he grabbed both of her legs and pounded freely. She seemed to enjoy it more and the instant he rushed to touch her, she was gone.

He continued to move as she tightened around him, again, Richard's name on her lips. It had angered him at first, hearing her cry out another man's name while he pumped himself into her, but there was no other for her call, she wasn't to know his name. He knew there was a chance she would go free and his name would bring him to a prison cell. The thought of her with his name on her tongue set him off, his control lost as he pushed forward and let go within her. She was still thriving as he lowered her legs, an action that only aided her pleasure as he dropped down upon her.

"Spirits," she whispered. Though it was a prayer for forgiveness, the man above her thought differently.

"There is no need to thank them for our pleasure, Mother Confessor."

Swallowing her pain she nodded with a small smile in case he was looking at her. "It seems to be fair."

He laughed, loudly and rolled off of her, taking himself from her body with a short groan. "I suppose." He remained quiet for a moment and she knew he was watching her. Her chest heaved and she struggled for air, a sign also given from torture, she assumed that was why he liked it. "I'll bring someone to tend to the wounds. You should be able to participate when I return."

Kahlan turned her head toward him, wishing once again that she was able to see his face. "I'm sorry."

She expected him to laugh and tell her that she should be or that if she didn't improve, she would be, but he didn't. "I'll send for the healer." Kahlan only nodded, not knowing what to say as he began to dress. He was still watching her, she could feel his stare, but she was almost certain that he was concerned. "Did you eat what was brought to you last night?"

"No. I wasn't hungry until I could no longer remember where it was."

"Someone will bring you lunch, be sure to eat."

"I will," she said in a weaker tone than she intended. Her strength was failing with each breath and she couldn't be sure how much longer she could remain awake.

It was a trap, he knew it had to be, but he and the men pushed forward. They abandoned their horses to keep most of them hidden, though Richard would have been fine with riding in quickly and stealing her away. They were attacked by a large group of men, many of them held off in the distance, shooting arrows their way to take out as many as possible to aid their own men before them. The Seeker managed to duck behind a tree, avoiding a few bolts, only to then have to use another man to shield some more. His sword swung rapidly, changing between taking down an enemy soldier to stopping an arrow from hitting his face. He wasn't sure he had ever moved so quickly before.

It was dark all around them, making it all harder, but he could see the small movement in the trees, telling him where the next man would be. They called out to each other in warning, threatening him at times as he came closer without a single wound. He had grown tired of the battle at once, moving on to killing each man on sight until he could see the large building that held her. Running the Sword of Truth through the throat of a young man, Richard grunted angrily, slamming his shoulder into another who tried to cut into his side. Their numbers were large and he had lost track of his own, leading him to fear the loss of them all. His shirt, pants and sword were stain with blood, a heavy splatter upon his face as he stepped out of the trees and into the clearing, directly before the door.

Thirty men stumbled to his side, at last making it through their own battle to now aid him in the rest of the rescue. Richard walked forward, cutting down the man who coward behind the wine barrels as they entered the building. The inside was large, made completely of stone and echoed their arrival as he shouted her name. There was no reply, sending a wave of panic through him as he ran down the hall to his left. He would search every room and kill anyone who stood in his way. There were almost as many men on the inside, each waiting for him as he rounded a corner, forcing him to act faster to stay out of their reach.

The enemy was well trained, they had been doing this for some time and Richard couldn't help but feel that they were the kind of men who should be protecting her, not holding her captive. He walked passed a dark room, freezing suddenly as he passed, his mind locked on finding a reason for the lack of door. Turning on his heels, he rushed in, stumbling forward as he found a quick set of stairs. Gabbing one of the lit torches from the wall, he strained his eyes to see farther, ignoring the small pool on his left. Moving forward, he saw movement and his heart stopped.

Running forward, he dropped the torch and got to his knees, grabbing her shoulders, instantly pushed backward with a loud cry at the contact. He tried again, only to be shoved away as he was before. Bringing the torch toward her, he nearly gasped at the sight. "Kahlan, it's me."

Her mouth fell open, her hands instantly reaching out toward the sound of his voice. Grabbing his face, she yanked herself off of the floor and into his arms, holding her forehead to his with a desperate cry of pain.

Zedd entered the room, stopping frozen at the sight before him. Kahlan was pressed against him, her tears raining down her face as she tried to get closer, to get safe. He remained still as Richard tried to calm her, trying to get a better look at her without pushing her away. She was bleeding heavily, though she didn't seem to notice when his hands slid through the red liquid.

"Spirits, Kahlan. Here, lay back-"

"No!" she shouted, bringing herself back to his chest. "No, no, no... Please don't make me-"

"Alright, I'm sorry." Turning his head, he met his grandfather's eyes as he used his magic to light the rest of the torches around the room. "Zedd's going to heal you." She clung to him as the wizard came closer, the sound of his unfamiliar footsteps frightening her. Richard held her firmly, even as she struggled against him. Her heart was pounding and he could feel it through her skin, through the palm of her hands. "I'm not going to let go of you, but you have to lay back. Here, come with me so Zedd can work."

He lowered them slowly, holding her to him as she quivered in his arms. She refused to lie on her back, her face and chest pressed into him, her tears continuing to fall and soak his shirt.

"Kahlan, I need you to turn so I can see them."

Richard urged her on, whispering in her ear as he rolled forward . He laid above her for a moment before she loosened her hold on him and allowed him to settle at her side. It was the first time he was able to see her, the torches around them lighting her perfectly and making him grow sick. Her body was stained in her blood, her veins showing through her skin, dark and puffy around each wound that seemed to cover her completely.

She held her face toward him, fighting the urge to cry as she tried desperately to see him. He laid his hand on her cheek, softly stroking his thumb across it while doing his best to reassure her that she was safe. It was hard to see her that way, her body broken and shaking.

Bringing her hands back to his cheeks, she swallowed through the pain. "I'm sorry, Richard." Using the last of her strength, she kissed him roughly and the moment after his return, she was unconscious.


	6. Chapter 6

Kahlan jumped forward with a soft scream, clutching the blankets around her as she tried to see where she was. She was bouncing with each breath, confusing her as she reached around frantically.

"It's alright, we're in a carriage headed back to Aydindril." Richard said softly, reaching for her hand. "Zedd said it may take some time for your sight to return."

"But it may not return," she whispered as she pulled her hand from his. She was dressed, though she couldn't be sure what it was she was wearing.

"Kahlan, I- I'm so sorry. I should have gone with you, kept you-"

"It's not your fault." Her voice was colder than before, her signature move when trying to distance herself from him.

"I should have protected you."

"How long was I there?"

"You don't know?"

"The time blurred together, the parts I can remember..."

Moving closer, he pulled her into his arms, ignoring the way she tried to push him away. "You've been gone over three months."

Her body went limp at his words, her heart breaking when she realized how long she must have been with the other man. "Please let me go." He released her instantly, but remained close, knowing she needed him more than she would say.

"Kahlan-"

"How long was I asleep?"

"Three days."

Nodding, she moved away, laying back down to cry. She couldn't stop herself from letting go, from rolling away and clinging to her blanket. It wouldn't be long and he would know what happened, if he didn't already. Her body no longer ached from the other man's touch, but she knew that meant Zedd had thought to heal it, too. He was watching her, she could feel his worried gaze and he wouldn't let her suffer alone. Laying down beside her, he laid his left arm over her side.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to-"

"I knew you were looking," she interrupted softly. "What happened to them?"

"Who?"

"The men who held me."

"Most of them are dead, but we have five of them chained with some of your army. They're following us back to Aydindril."

"His son... You have Thomas?"

Confused, he lifted his head and looked down at her. "Who?"

"James' son. He... If you have him, let him go."

"Kahlan, no. He held you captive. If we have him-"

"He's the one who told you where to find me. He..." Rolling onto her back, she pushed his hand from her stomach, replacing it with hers. "Richard, I- He took care of me. After I was..."

"They raped you," he whispered, watching her face.

"No," she whispered through tears, turning her head over to him. "I-"

"You wouldn't lay with them, Kahlan. I know you."

"You don't know me very well."

"I know you better than you think."

"I wanted to be with him," she told him honestly. She expected him to become angry and move from her, but he didn't. "He didn't have to rape me."

Richard shifted beside her, trying to get comfortable while bumping with the wagon as it continued down its trail. "What happened?"

She wanted to see his face, to know how he felt, but no matter how hard she strained her eyes, she couldn't. "I was with another man."

"I know, but that's not what I asked."

She hesitated to answer, unsure as to the importance of it. He shouldn't want to know what she did with another man, but he asked. "I don't know when it started," she told him through a whisper. "I'm not even sure he was one of the men who visited me before, but... Thomas tried to help me escape, but I- I couldn't see. I didn't get very far before they took me down."

"The arrows?"

Nodding, she moved, pushing her head back into the pillow. She couldn't remember being so comfortable, warm and safe. "When I woke up, he was there."

"And he raped you?"

"For days," she said. "I tried to stop him, begged even, but..." Swallowing, she tried to stop herself from crying. Tears began to leak out of the corners of her eyes, fearing what was going through his mind. "He was laying above me one minute and then the next, he pulled me onto him and I didn't stop him." With a pause, she waited for a reaction, a sound or movement, but he provided none. If she continued, it would hurt him and he wouldn't want to be near her again. The sooner she did, the better it could be, the faster he could find someone new. "I couldn't see, he told me to imagine I was with you and I did. I welcomed it, enjoyed it and then I wanted more. If he had been able to continue, I would have. Each time he came to me, I was happy."

"Because it wasn't painful anymore."

His response surprised her, though she did her best not to show it. "I just wanted it to end."

Richard laid his hand carefully over her stomach, resting it beside hers. "It's alright to have wanted the pain to stop, Kahlan."

"I betrayed you and I didn't feel guilty for it."

"Because you shouldn't have. Kahlan, what you went through, the things they did to you... I can understand wanting it to end and doing anything you can to prevent it." Her head turned toward him, party confused. "When I was with Denna, I experienced the same desire for it to end and after a while, I went to her bed willingly."

"It's not the same thing," she countered softly. "She tortured you."

"And the beatings they gave you, what was that?"

"It's not-"

"The same thing," he interrupted quickly. "Yes, it is. Kahlan, you didn't do anything wrong."

"I took care of Thomas too," she said quickly, expecting it to be the end of the conversation.

"To gain his trust," he said almost as quickly. "I know you, Kahlan. He would have been the first and you said he was the one who told me where you were. It's the only thing that makes sense. You would have played with him, tricking him into thinking-"

"I made him believe I wanted to be with him. I asked him to- When he lowered me to the ground, I crawled on top of him and..." Letting her words trail into silence, she rolled onto her side, moving her hands over him, she brought herself to the same position she had been in above Thomas and quickly began unlacing his pants.

"Kahlan-"

"You have to know what I did." Grabbing his hands, she brought them above his head, barely able to hold them as the wagon bumped and dipped with the ground. Reaching between them, she took him in her hand and as slowly as possible, she pulled. Leaning forward, she nudged his chin with her nose, finding her way around before sliding her tongue over his scruffy skin. "I'm yours." Her voice came out as a purr, making him moan and forget what she was trying to do.

Reaching up, he grabbed her face, pulling her mouth to his with a deep kiss. He refused to hold back as she tried to pull away, unwilling to let her think, even for a moment, that he no longer wanted her.

"Richard..."

"You didn't do anything wrong."

Remaining close, she stroked his cheeks, wiping her tears from his face. "I betrayed you."

"You found comfort in a time of pain. Kahlan, you didn't love them. You didn't betray me, you kept me with you each time you imagined it was me you were with. You did what you had to to stay alive, to be alive when I found you."

"I-"

"Don't say it," he whispered. "It doesn't change anything between us, not for me."

"It should."

"Did it change anything for you, me having been with someone else?" Shaking her head, Kahlan leaned into his touch, savoring the gentleness of it. "You did what you had to and I am not upset that you did." Releasing a soft sigh, he pushed some of her hair behind her ear. "I wish you could see the truth."

"I never wanted-"

"I know," he whispered, pulling her closer so that he could hug her. "I never wanted you to have to make those decisions."

"How long until we are back in Aydindril?"

"Maybe three weeks in this carriage."

"Will you stay here with me?"

"Yes."

Kahlan lifted her head, her forehead finding his. "I'm sorry."

"Me too."

Kissing him briefly, she pushed harder into him, letting his warmth soak into her. "I was so afraid you would hate me."

Rolling them, Richard brought her to her back and leaned over her. "I could never hate you, Kahlan."

Trailing her left hand up his arm, she found his cheek and gently pulled his face closer to hers. "How could you- Richard, I was with someone else."

He kissed her, making sure to be gentle as he leaned into her. She was still shaking, but he knew her body didn't realize how much she had gone through. He wanted to make her forget that they had been separated, that the last few months never happened, but he wasn't sure it was the right move. She clung to him tightly, fear still lingering in not only her touch and voice, but there was a firm expression of it that held firmly on her face from the moment he found her. When he parted their lips for a breath, he wondered if she could handle anything more.

Her body angled toward his, beckoning his and he couldn't help but wonder if it was out of a reflex she developed when being held. He didn't want to hurt her and he was suddenly terrified that he was about to. Breaking their kiss, he began to move his lips over her cheek, her chin and jaw, slowly drifting down her neck until he found the one spot he knew she loved his attention. Winding her fingers in his hair, she held him to her and turned. She was suddenly pushing into him, her body rocking forward frantically, trying to gain more pleasure. Pulling back for a minute, she ran her hands over his chest, finding the top of his shirt and ripping it open. It wasn't enough, she needed more and as she began pulling on her own clothes. The instant she was able, she pushed herself against him and sucked in a deep breath.

Richard remained still as she hooked her leg over his, her body shaking between her rocking hips. He held her firmly as she fought to get closer, to have more.

"What do you need, Kahlan?"

Grabbing his face, she pulled it to hers and shared his breath. "Just hold me please."

"Always," he whispered as he brought her closer, his hold tightening as she held herself to him and continued rocking.

Her hands remained on his face as she moved, sharing his breath until she began to cry. Stopping her actions she kissed him quickly and then settled into his arms with a hug.

"I'd forgotten what it felt like."

"What?"

"I- I don't know how to explain it. I feel safe, warm... Happy. You make me feel every kind of pleasure without... When I was with him, I could feel the differences; it made me... I'm so sorry, Richard."

"I know," he whispered. Snaking her body against him, she tried to bring him above her, but he didn't move. "Kahlan, you don't want-"

"I want you. I don't to remember his touch."

"Kahlan-"

"Please..."

Moving slowly, he shifted her body, lifting her right leg until she bent it at the knee. Trailing his fingers over her leg, he pushed at the short nightgown, moving it out of his way. She took in a deep breath as he touched her stomach, his fingers gently caressing her skin until she her hips lifted. Abandoning her stomach, he pushed his hand up, gliding between her breasts as his lips connected with her neck. He was gentle, just as he had been before, the passion in his touch and kiss, each the same and she couldn't help but wonder how it had not changed.

He was focused on her, just as he always was, ignoring his own needs, ignoring the throbbing pressure she felt against the side of her hip. He continued his hands exploration of her body, being sure he didn't hurt her as he graced one of her wounds. Zedd had healed them the best he could, stopping them from bleeding, but far from making them disappear. She grabbed his hand, holding it still against her stomach and bringing his kisses to a stop. He lifted his head from her neck, afraid that he had hurt or upset her.

"Say something," she whispered, pushing his fingers into her skin. "Please, say something."

He knew what she wanted, what she needed and he understood completely. She couldn't see him and though she knew it was him, she needed a constant proof to keep her from thinking she was back in her prison again. Nudging his nose against her neck, he smiled through a quick kiss. "I love you, Kahlan."

He repeated his words again and again, never letting the truth slip by as he moved his hand lower. She bucked against his fingers, his name on her lips in a panted breath that screamed to be heard. Even in this, though his touch was gentle, she felt as though he was giving her everything he had and she felt it all. The other man had been rough and hard, taking much more for an ounce of pleasure to be felt, but Richard had her falling with a single stoke.

The sound of his voice in her ear helped, the way he spoke her name, his love for her and the occasional kiss. He never missed a beat as he worked, knowing exactly what she needed and when. She was hanging on by a thread, one he was sure to know, because he gave her a little more.

Their bodies jerked with a bump, Kahlan nearly throwing up her heart as she jumped forward in terror of what was going on around them. He reacted quickly, puling her to him as he found his own breath.

"It's alright, I think one of the wheels is stuck. You're alright, I promise." Laying her back down, he kissed her lips and pulled a blanket over her exposed chest. "I'm going to take a look alright? I'll be right outside- Kahlan, if you need me, I'll be right there."

She only nodded as he moved away, listening as he exited the carriage and demanded to know what happened. There were others around them, many by the sounds she could hear, but it didn't comfort her. She found herself tuning out the noise as she thought, the feel of his hand on her lingering and pulling her into her mind. He desired her, she could feel it, but he didn't act upon it. She wondered if he found it difficult knowing that another man had been within her not long before, but then she remembered the way he kissed her, the way his hand had moved over her skin, touching her the same way he had their first night together, their only night together. It didn't make sense to her, though she thought it shouldn't since he was always surprising her.

She questioned it all, the way he spoke in her ear, the whisper of his love and she found it all nearly impossible to believe he could feel that way. He knew what she had done, she had told him almost everything and still he remained by her side. She couldn't understand. Closing her eyes, she clung the blanket to her chest and rolled over, facing away from where he had been laying. Tears were falling down her cheeks and if he returned, she didn't want him to see them. She was afraid he see how hurt she felt, how broken she was.

Richard was laying beside her when she woke up, his arm laying over her side. She wasn't sure how long she had been asleep, but she was still exposed, saying that he hadn't moved her. Her eyes were open, though she couldn't be sure since she couldn't see. They were still moving in the carriage, bumping up and down so rapidly, she wondered how she had fallen asleep. Pulling at the blanket, she tried to buy herself another moment before turning to face him, knowing he was awake and waiting for her.

"It's cold," she whispered, turning her head.

Inching a little bit closer, he frowned. "You have a fever."

"Oh." Turning her head away from him, she blinked her tears away.

"Kahlan-"

"How long was I asleep?"

Bringing his hand to her cheek, he pulled back some of her hair and lifted himself up for a better look at her face. "Almost a day. Are you thirsty?"

"No," she answered quickly.

"Liar."

"I'm tired."

"You can sleep, after you drink something."

Turning her face toward his, she stared into the darkness she assumed him was in. "We're in the middle of a trail, where are you-"

"I have my ways, Mother Confessor." With a quick whistle, they came to a stop and she felt him move beside her. She listened, but no words were said, making her believe he had planned it all out. "Here," he whispered, settling beside her once again. The carriage began to move again as he touched her face, turning her head to the left, slightly lifting her chin. "This should make you feel a little bit better."

She felt a small pouch come to her lips and the urge to cry returned as she found herself feeling like a child who needed to be looked after. He shouldn't have to do this. She struggled for a moment, trying to move into an easier position, but found if difficult until he helped with with that, too. Bringing her hands to the water pouch, she tried to take it from him, but he held firm.

"Slowly," he instructed in the most kindest of tones, that instantly made her feel a little more comfortable.

She nearly moaned as the warm liquid entered her mouth, a flavor she had forgotten about. It felt to be years since she had experienced something like it. He found a way to, not only make her favorite tea, but have it in something she could drink from. It fell in drops, enough to give her the illusion she was drinking, but not enough to cause her to struggle. He was gentle with it and she could feel his breath on her cheek, his face close to make sure she was drinking.

Pulling back the skin, he watched her face as she swallowed. "Is it alright?"

Turning her head slightly toward him, she nodded. "Thank you." He sighed in relief, an action she was surprised to catch.

"Do you want some more?"

"No, I don't think I can."

"Are you hungry?"

"No, unless you have a handful of grapes in your pocket."

He grinned, pushing something into her mouth before she could take another breath. "I may have a few."

Finding his face with her hands, she pulled him to a kiss before she swallowed, letting him taste the purple fruit on her tongue.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." Tilting her head, she strained her eyes, hoping that if she tried a little harder, she would see him. The darkness continued. "I'm as hideous as you remember."

Smiling, she tried not to laugh while she explored his face with her fingers. "I don't know, your nose is bigger."

He stared at her smile, afraid that he wouldn't see it again. "Maybe a little more hideous, then."

"I'm sure you're not as ugly as I remember."

"I wouldn't be so sure."

Her smile faltered as she turned to face him, her hand continuing over his face. "I wish I could see you."

"I'm exactly the way you remember."

Lowering her hand between them, she shook her head. "Remembering is not the same thing as seeing."

"Or feeling," he said quietly. Bringing her hand back to his face, he held it to his cheek. "I've missed your touch, the sound of your voice... I can't tell you how much I want to kiss you and never let you go."

"I don't know how you can want to."

"Because you can't see the way I'm looking at you."

"I'd like to," she whispered honestly.

Hovering his lips above hers, he grazed them briefly. "I can show you. If it's alright."

She couldn't stop herself from nodding, words failing her as he slipped his hands beneath the blanket.

"You're soft..." Richard rumbled his approval before turning her sideways and capturing her mouth with his.

Expertly his lips teased hers and before she realized what she was doing, Kahlan opened her mouth, and his tongue slipped inside gently stroking hers. Skilfully, his lips caressed hers, stoking a fire within her. Involuntarily, she found herself responding, gripping his biceps as he moved his hands up and down her back, drawing her closer until they were touching from chest to knee.

He kissed and caressed her, nipping and stroking, stimulating her every nerve endings until her entire body hummed with awareness. Heat was building inside of her and she squirmed restlessly. He was licking her stomach, massaging her hips and then shockingly, he grabbed her thighs and pulled her legs apart. Lowering his face between them, he inhaling deeply and licked her.

Richard looked up, his eyes dilated, his breathing uneven, both things she couldn't see. He slid up and kissed her hot and hard. "You are mine." He muttered against her lips before moving to her neck and running his teeth lightly over her skin, biting down gently but not actually breaking the surface.

Trailing his lips up her neck and back to her mouth, he sucked on her lower lip before kissing her again. She melted into his kiss, finding it captivating until she realized how aroused he was. He was pressed against her stomach, but he gave no effort to aid in his release. He was, once again, focused on her and her alone.

Breaking their kiss, Richard held his face to hers, their noses pushed together as they both sucked in a deep breath. "Are you alright?"

"Yes." Reaching to her neck, she grabbed the metal that circled her skin. "This will protect you."

"It's not me I'm worried about." Kissing her once again, he let his lips linger. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Richard-"

"You've been through- Kahlan, we don't have to do this."

"I want to."

"Why?"

She knew why he was asking, but she wasn't sure she should answer. "Many reasons," she panted, lifting herself into him.

"Tell me."

She couldn't say that she wanted to know of he would still be with her, it would push him away and she could not tell him that she wanted him to erase the memory of the other man within her. "I want to feel like it was before."

"Kahlan-"

Sliding her hands up his arms, she released a slow breath. "You, me... The way we were that night. I want that back."

"It's right here," he assured her softly, his body thumping down against hers as their carriage wobbled through an uneven path. "But we don't have to do this to be the way it was that night, not after- I would understand if you didn't want "this" right now."

"Would you?" she questioned near tears. She couldn't see his face and it was driving her mad not knowing what he felt. He wasn't like other men, a fact she knew, but she couldn't understand how he could be this way.

His weight collapsed onto her for a moment as he kissed her, then rolled them to their sides. "I think I'm laying on the rest of your grapes."

She laughed fully as she felt him place a little space between them and chuckle himself. He brought his fingers to her lips and watched as her tongue followed.

"They're sweet."

"And soaking into your bed."

"I don't think it minds."

"I'm sorry."

Finding his face with her hands, she inched forward until she felt herself roll onto, what was probably, the last grape. "I'm sorry, Richard."

"Don't be. I'm the one who ruined your-"

"Not about the grapes."

"I know, but that's the only thing we should be sorry for."

She blinked, wishing that the darkness would end as she gathered the strength to ask the question that was on her mind. "If I ask you to- If I wanted to- Do you want to be with me?" Her words came out soft and fragile, shaking in fear and if he couldn't hear, but it was written all over her face.

He was quiet for a moment, his hand pushing away the blanket between them so he would be able to rest it on her bare side. He could see the fear building up within her and as much as he wanted it to end, he couldn't speak without giving her the right words.

"No," he whispered after another moment. Tears were filling her eyes, though she forgot he could see since her world was still dark. "Not entirely because of what happened back there," he added just as soft, his hold on her side tightening as he spoke. "I don't want you to use me as an escape from what happened. I know that you love me and that it would, in some small way, mean something to you, but... I'm afraid that you want to be with me to forget what he did and the way he made you feel. I can understand wanting to forget the torment he gave you, but I don't want to be the piece that also reminds you. Even now, I know you're wondering, you want to know if when I look at you, I see you above him, holding onto whatever pleasure he was able to provide. I'm not, Kahlan. I'm not thinking about anything except wishing I could give you that comfort. Whatever it was he did that made you feel like laying with him was the only other option, I- I'm thinking that I should have protected you. I never should have let you leave your bedroom that morning. When I look at you, I don't see anything other than the way I feel about you. I see the most beautiful woman in the world, who is hurt and confused and I want so bad to comfort her, but I'm not sure how. If I made love to you, if I rolled onto you and gave in to everything we feel, I would lose you."

She opened her mouth to speak, but he continued quickly, not wanting her to find a moment to think otherwise. "You're hurt. You keep thinking about that man and how it felt to be with him. I know that you feel guilty, but you shouldn't. Kahlan, I know that I cannot speak for you, but I don't think you're upset for doing what you had to. I think you're afraid you weren't strong enough to hold back." Her tears were raining down her cheeks, a river that had just been freed. "I don't see it that way. I can't imagine what you went through, but I know you and I know that it took more strength than anyone else has to do what you did. You kept yourself alive and yes, you did it by laying with another man, but you thought of me. You never betrayed me Kahlan, and if I was to be with you right now, I'm afraid that you will never- I don't want that to be the way I prove my love for you."

She nodded slowly and turned over, struggling with the blanket as it tried to stop her. He stared at the back of her head for a few moments, letting her release a few sets of silent tears. "I do love you, Kahlan. I- I know I don't understand how you feel, but if you talk to me... It's not that I don't want to be with you, I do, but... I'm not him, Kahlan," he whispered, making her body tense. "We don't have to be together for you to stay out of pain."

"Please get out of the carriage."

"No."

She turned rapidly, surprising him as she sat forward and slammed her fists in his direction, hitting him twice in the jaw. He put up no fight to stop her until he saw the blood snaking out of her nose from her effort. "Get out!" she screamed quieter than intended. "Get- Let go! Let go! Let go!" The instant he held her wrists firmly in his, she panicked and as he watched her face, he let her free. Bringing her hands to her chest, she inched alway from him, moving until her back hit the wall of their enclosure. She felt trapped and wanted to be alone, wanted to break free and run away, but she couldn't see. It felt as though she was still held prisoner.

"Kahlan, I'm sorry." She was shaking and it was more than the cold, her teeth clicking together as she tried to find her breath. Their ride slowed, obviously hearing the panic, but they didn't stop. He hadn't told them to. "Kahlan-"

"Please get out..." She spoke so softly, he wasn't sure the words left her mouth, a part of him swearing they were now echoing around them.

Shaking his head, Richard fought the urge to reach out and touch her, now afraid of what it would do to her. "I'm not going to leave you."

Locking her jaw, she straightened her back and lifted her head, finding the courage to use a tone and motion she had never used with him before. "As Mother Confessor, I order you to leave. Get out and do not return." She could hear his intake of breath, his slight confusion and shock, but he didn't move. "Get out or I will lock you in prison-"

"If you want me to leave, you're going to have to push me from this carriage and tie me to back."

She moved quickly and for a second, judging by the look on her face, he was fairly certain she was going to do it, but before he could tell her to stop, her fist was pushing into his face, breaking his nose instantly; adding a soft crack to the sounds around them. She must have felt it, he thought instantly, the expression on her face changed and he would swear she was glad. He remained still, waiting for her to strike again, but she didn't. Kahlan swallowed at the silence, her hand shaking in pain and before she could hide it beneath the blanket, he caught a glimpse.

Her hand was swollen and he was certain she broke one of her fingers, but she gave no sign of pain. "Zedd will heal that."

"Get out."

"I'm not leaving you."

Turning her head away from him, she sighed. "Afraid I'll take another man while you're away?"

"No," he answered quickly and softly. "I'm afraid you won't be here when I return."

"Maybe I won't be."

"I'm not willing to risk it."

Her head snapped toward his, her jaw locked for a moment. "You were before," she said before thinking.

"Kahlan-"

"You weren't afraid before, why should now be different? Maybe you're afraid I'll find another man who can-"

"Kahlan-"

"You weren't there before," she said through tears, wishing they would stop. "You weren't there and they..." Her breath became harder to catch, her tears uncontrollable as she remembered everything that had been done to her. "What more could happen to me?!"

Richard reached out, trying to grab her hand, trying to comfort her, but she pulled back. "Kahlan, please-"

"You weren't there and I had to...! I had to... He didn't stop," she whispered sadly, her eyes closed as she tried to calm herself. "He wouldn't stop."

Inching closer to her, he pulled at the blanket, covering her as a small gesture to comfort her. "He's not going to hurt you again."

"Please leave me alone," she whispered as she pulled the blanket tighter. She couldn't see him, couldn't see the look in his eyes as he spoke, the truth of his words and he didn't tell her what he had done. The man she spoke of, Michael, had indeed been one of the men they captured and after she had fallen asleep, he had gone out and gave her a small piece of justice. It was quiet for a few moments, and he could see the panic start to cross her face, but before he could speak, she leaned forward. "Richard?"

"I'm here." Her body relaxed at once and he couldn't miss it. "Kahlan-"

"Please don't leave."

"I won't."

"I'm sorry," she whispered as he came to her side and eased his arm around her shoulder.

"How's your hand?"

"It's fine," she lied instantly, not wanting him to hurry away to bring the wizard to heal her. "I'm sorry I hit you."

"It's alright, you were right, it's bigger than it used to be; I think you may have fixed it."

"Richard-"

"It's fine, I promise."

Turning, she ran her hand up his arm and found his face, gently coming to circle his nose. "You're bleeding."

"So are you."

"Am I?"

Lifting her hand by the wrist, he nodded his head against her shoulder. "I can see your bone."

"It doesn't hurt that badly," she told him quietly.

Lowering her hand, he wondered if he should say the words that were on his tongue. "I can understand that you've felt worse."


	7. Chapter 7

She hadn't spoken very much since the wizard healed her hand, but after everything she had gone through, Richard didn't think it would be best to push. He wanted to hear her voice, even if it was her yelling at him. It was, in his mind, his fault she had been captured and when she had screamed that he wasn't there, he almost felt better knowing a part of her blamed him, too. He sat beside her in silence as she waved her hand before her face, testing herself constantly as she awaited the return of her sight. She faced away from him, lying on her side in attempt to shield her actions and he knew why. She didn't want him to see her the way she felt, weak and desperate, but there were no words he could use to convince her that she wasn't either of those things.

She grew frustrated after a few minutes and dropped her hand beside her face, releasing a set of tears she had held back. Tears had become almost constant, her small way of being able to let go without further screaming and when she believed he was asleep, she held nothing back. Sleep was almost impossible for her, her dreams being there to replay every moment of torment until she woke in a sweat and soft cry. He had been there each time, wrapping her in his arms to assure her that she was safe, but no matter how many times he said it, she couldn't stop the nightmares.

Her body felt stronger, making her want to escape the carriage, but he wouldn't allow it. She hated being in the same spot at all times, but she refused to tell him that it only reminded her of her prison. She wondered who was with them, how many of her men had gone and survived, wishing she was able to thank them. After everything she had gone through, she was more comforted by the loud noises they made at night, constantly reminding her that they were there with the pop of their fires and laughter that was far from the ones her captors had held. They would look in on her when Richard went hunting, giving her a short while to think. She found herself smiling as she heard their quiet knock and then the opening of the small door. Her mind could picture their actions, the way they would poke their head in, concerned at her silence.

After a few days, when the Seeker returned with a buck, he was surprised to see Kahlan sitting with a group of her men around their fire, listening with a smile as they talked about their adventures. He froze at the sight, remaining by the trees as he watched. It was a pleasant vision, one he wished to see more of.

"The Seeker jumped through the bushes, taking down their scout before he knew the sky was falling!" The men laughed, almost cheering as they clapped their hands together. "I think you would have enjoyed the moment, Mother Confessor."

"I'm sure I would have," Kahlan replied with a grin.

"Tell her a better story," one man spoke through a chuckle. "I'm sorry, we have many stories of your Seeker."

They laughed again, the man beside her, laying his hand gently on her shoulder. "Would you like to hear the one of him capturing that woman?"

She froze for a moment, but the tension faded quickly as she realized she wanted to know what had happened. "If there's a story to tell," she replied through a small grin.

"She didn't stand a chance," he started in a dramatic voice, motioning with his hands for the rest of the men. "He caught her running through the trees, almost inside of Lord Hening's land. She put up a good fight, the Seeker had scratches all over his face and neck." The men laughed around her, a few growing louder than before. "He gave her many warnings, chances to tell him where you were, but she said nothing."

"Mad women are the strongest," another spoke through a soft chuckle. "She remained silent until he had her in your dungeon." The circle grew quiet and Kahlan knew something more was coming. "She screamed for hours... But she wouldn't tell him anything. He had to become more creative."

"We didn't know he had a side of him like that," the first man spoke again. "He would do anything to find you."

"But you followed him," Kahlan told them with a slight tilt of her head. "Why?"

A few of the men laughed at her question and suddenly there was a hand on her shoulder once more. "We are not ignorant, Mother Confessor. We know how you feel about him. If he is worthy of what you've given, he has our loyalty. If he didn't with everyone of us before, he certainly does now. He will risk his life for not only you alone, he saved Phillip at least a dozen times on the way here."

"You could have told me I was being stalked by a wolf," a young man said, leading Kahlan to assume it to be Phillip.

"You are going to learn to use your senses, we can't always tell you there's a wolf or snake, rabbit creeping out of the bushes."

Kahlan chuckled, turning her head toward the direction Phillip's voice had traveled from. "You'll be as quick as them in no time."

"Not if I die first," he said with a smile she couldn't see.

"Perhaps you should stand guard with some of them tonight," she suggested. "A short learning session."

"He can't sleep anyway," another man bursted through a laugh. "Not without his mother tucking him in!"

The group was filled with laughter once more and stopped suddenly as her back straightened. "Sometimes I wish my mother would tuck me in." She spoke quietly, Richard had to take a few steps forward to hear. "There are some comforts that are difficult to replace."

"Forgive me, Mother Confessor."

Smiling, she looked toward the man's voice. "There is nothing to forgive." She turned her head away, her smile growing wider. "Someone's burned dinner."

A few of the men jumped up in grumbles, rushing to the stew over the fire as it began to boil over the sides of the pot. She was left alone as the rest rushed to help with the buck Richard brought back, leaving him with the opportunity to sit beside her.

"You're smiling," he whispered with one of his own. "Are you feeling better?"

Nodding, Kahlan leaned against him, her shoulder pressed to his. "I couldn't stay in there another moment. I-" She stopped herself, remembering she hadn't told him how it felt to be cooped up. "I thought some fresh air would help my headache."

"Did it?"

"Along with the tea one of the men made. Where's Zedd?"

"Gathering herbs. he said your wounds will need a little more work before they heal completely."

"Oh."

"Are you angry with me?" he asked surprisingly. "For what I've done to Jessica?"

"No," she answered instantly. "But I'm not sure that's a good thing."

"Why?"

"You're not that person, Richard. You would never torture someone-"

"She knew where you were," he stated before she could finish. "She knew what was happening to you and she said nothing. I would have removed every limb from her body to find you. I nearly begun. I will not apologize for what I did-"

"I wasn't asking you to apologize," she interrupted seamlessly. "I wasn't questioning what you did. I never would, I trust you." He was quiet, watching her like she knew he was. "I didn't mean to make you feel like I was upset for what you did. I'm not, I'm grateful. That's why I said I wasn't sure it was a good thing." He said nothing as she pulled away, straightening her back as though she could see the other men glancing their way. "I shouldn't be happy that you had to hurt someone for me."

"That's not why you're happy," he told her quietly. "You're glad because I was looking for you."

She blinked out a set of tears as she shook her head and to his surprise, she didn't rush to wipe them away, afraid the others would see. "When he told me you had her, I- I was glad because I knew what you would do. Richard, I was- I wanted her to feel the pain I felt. What kind of person wishes another to be harmed?" The men stopped moving, each staring at her as she stared ahead, seeing darkness instead of their faces. "She was part of my city, my people and I hung there and imagined her in my place. I'm not upset that you- I should be saddened, but I'm not."

"You should not be feeling the way you do, Mother Confessor." The men around him nodded, but only Richard could see. "She may have been born in your land, but she is not one of your people. She is our enemy and everyone in your land would have done what your Seeker did. She is not worthy of your heart."

"He's right," Richard said when the other man finished. "Your people would never betray you the way she did."

"It wasn't a betrayal to want the man she loved back."

"She could have waited," the other man spoke again. "I am sorry to interrupt, Mother Confessor, but she had many other options. She could have asked for you to release him to her. She is not the first woman to have someone she cared about taken into the home of a Confessor, but she chose to see it as an act of war and deserved to be treated as- She should have been honored her husband had been chosen, you did not select him at random."

"What's your name?" Kahlan asked when it became quiet around them once more.

"Dean, Ma'am."

"Thank you, Dean." The man beamed at her words, proud to have brought a smile to the Mother Confessor's face.

"You've burned dinner!" Zedd exclaimed as he stepped into their campsite. "Who left the blind Confessor in charge?"

Kahlan laughed, turning her head toward the wizard. "I'm sorry, I know how important your dinner is to you."

Coming to her side, he laid his hand on her shoulder. "How are you feeling, dear one?"

"Better than before," she told him honestly.

"I found some herbs that may take away the rest of your pain."

With a frown, she tilted her head up toward him. "I think I've grown attached to it."

"Not for long." Dropping a pouch into his grandson's lap, he smiled down at him while motioning to the carriage with his head. "You should tend to the wounds before the moon comes to a rest in the sky."

Taking her hand, Richard squeezed it gently. "Come with me."

Holding her head toward the older man, Kahlan grinned. "Don't eat all of the food."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

She stood slowly, keeping her hand in the Seeker's. They watched her as the couple began to move away, she felt their eyes on her. With a quick turn of her head over her shoulder, she held back a laugh. "Whoever saves us some food shall be handsomely rewarded."

"Don't worry," Dean replied through a chuckle. "We'll tie down the wizard if we have to."

"What did he give you?" Kahlan asked as Richard helped her get settled inside.

"I'm not sure yet. How- Are you comfortable?"

"I think so."

He opened the pouch louder than usual, letting her know exactly what was going on. "He's mixed a few things into a... Thick paste. It looks like clay, only green."

"Smells terrible," she whispered, pushing the back of her right hand against her nose. "Maybe we shouldn't-"

"It's not that bad," he laughed. "It smells like-"

"A dead squirrel," she said quickly.

"I was going to say that it smelt like Zedd's shoes." They shared a moment of laughter before he began lifting the bottom of her dress. "I'll put a small amount of your leg, maybe it's not as bad as we think." She shifted slightly as he revealed her thigh, a cool breeze seeming to flow by. The paste was warmer than she thought, leaving her to conclude that he had rubbed it in his hands before letting it touch her. "How does it feel?"

Kahlan smiled, leaning her head back against the wall the carriage. Her eyes were closed, and the way her lips parted, he would swear that she liked it. "It feels nice," she said through a whisper. "Almost numb."

"And before?" he questioned quietly.

She smiled surprisingly, her eyes opening almost as though, for a moment, she expected to see his face. "There were moments when I wasn't sure how much more I could take. Sometimes I feel like it's building up within me, waiting for me to break. This, it tingles away the pain."

"Are you ready for your shoulder?"

"I don't know," she whispered to him with a small smile. "After it began to swell, he... I think he took pity on me. He wasn't as rough as before and... I'm sorry, I shouldn't bring it up."

"It's alright," he told her quietly easing his hand over her shoulder to remove a portion of her dress. "It seems to help when you talk about it."

"I shouldn't," she whispered. "I'm so afraid that I'm going to hurt you."

"You won't hurt me for what happened between the two of you, but I would like to know what happened, how he made you feel."

"Richard-"

"I know that it's painful for you and it angers me more than anything, but it will make you feel better."

"He came to me, the day before you arrived, I think it upset him, I couldn't move as he laid above me. He... Grew frustrated so many times I can't believe he didn't lose control and kill me. He kissed the scar you had given me with Denna's agiel, the one you liked to... He hated when I whispered your name and I- I don't know why, but he liked it when he was angry."

"He hurt you every time you said it, didn't you?"

"He laughed," she told him as he brought a handful of the past to her left shoulder. "That's when things would turn. He'd roll over me, his chest pressed firmly against my back to keep me from moving... I had never experienced anything like that before. He held himself close to me, his hands encircling me completely making sure there was no escape. The same position you and I had shared when we were together. It was different, everything about it, from his touch, his tongue... I couldn't move and when I was with you, I didn't feel trapped, but with him..."

"Do they feel any better?"

"Yes," she whispered. She suddenly found herself fighting sleep, her body struggling to remain sitting up. "I- I think I'm going to, I seem to... He must have added something to give me more sleep." He caught her as she leaned forward, half asleep as he helped her lay down. "Stay with me for a..."

He smiled and settled down beside her, wrapping his arms around her. She turned against him, snuggling closer as she had done so many nights, long before she had been taken. For a moment he almost felt like nothing had changed, but instead of her arm encircling his, she held it between them, holding the small distance. He knew why she was afraid to get close, but he hoped that soon he would be able to prove his continued love for her.

The rumble of thunder woke her with a jump, but she didn't pull out of his arms. Her first instinct was to look around, but when her eyes opened, there was still, only darkness. She wondered how long she had been asleep, but the sound of the men outside, talking and laughing, she knew it hadn't been as long as she thought.

Tightening his arms around her, he nudged his nose against her neck. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, it- The thunder startled me."

"Don't worry," he whispered beside her ear with a smile. "I don't think it can get to you in here."

Inching closer, Kahlan snaked her fingers into his hair and grinned. "Not while you're here."

"You're shaking."

Inching back, she rolled onto her back and turned her head toward him. "I think it scared me more than I realized."

"Would you like some tea?"

Shaking her head, she closed her eyes, though it made no difference to her sight. "No, it's alright, thank you."

"Are you hungry?"

"No, I'm alright."

"It was nice to see you out there tonight," he said quietly. "They seemed to have been enjoying your company."

"I needed the air and they were kind enough to allow me to join them." She smiled, turning her head toward him. "They had many stories about your time as their leader."

"I'm sure I made a fool-"

"They like you," she told him quickly. "You more than earned their trust and respect. They will follow your every order."

He frowned, even as her hand came to his cheek. "I lead most of them to their deaths."

"It was war," she responded quietly. "They followed you on their own, none of them blame you for the loss of a brother."

"I blame myself."

She turned into him, her hand moving over his shoulder to bring him closer. "What about now?" she asked as her face inched forward. She was moving off of the feel of his breath, using it to help guide her to his mouth. "Do you blame yourself now?"

"Kahlan-" he whispered as her lips brushed his.

"You went to rescue me and here I am..." Kissing him again, she pushed her chest into his. "Right here..."

"Kahlan-"

He was cut off my her lips, her kiss taking charge as he snaked his hands into her hair and brought her to him. His tongue was warm and his kiss was breathtaking. He nudged a knee between her legs and pressed his thigh to her. A small hitch took up residence in her chest and he smiled against her lips. He liked the thought of taking her breath with a single action, pleased to know that he could after what she had been through. She was pulling at his shirt within seconds, her hand snaking beneath the cloth for a feel of his skin. He took his time with her, moving his hands over her sides, he pushed forward, needing to be closer.

She welcomed him to her, pulling him until he was nearly on top of her. After a brief moment, she pushed him back and yanked at his shirt, relieving the fear that built when she shoved him back. Finding his hand, she brought it to the many buttons on her nightgown and encouraged him to work, hoping he would allow her to feel his chest against hers once more.

"Are you sure?" he questioned as his nose touched hers.

She nodded, releasing his hands and bringing hers to rest beside her head. He watched her face as he unbuttoned her nightgown. She was calm other than the vein pulsing in her neck, but it was steady with his, making him more comfortable to continue. His heart began to pound as more of her became exposed and he realized how long it had been since he had seen her naked like this.

She had laid naked in his arms, but his mind had remained on keeping her safe, protecting her and when he had tended to her wounds, he never brought his eyes to anything else. She remained still as he pushed open the cloth, letting him view her as though it would change his mind. Snaking his hand over her stomach, he smiled as she lifted to his touch.

Richard was suddenly licking a wet line from between her breasts down to her belly button. He dipped his tongue in the shallow divot and made her tremble with the suddenness of a hot flash that quickly shifted to a chill. Her entire body was thrown off balance thanks to him and it was utter bliss. She felt his desire against her leg, but he continued on, ignoring himself as he focused on her. Pulling at his hair, she whispered his name, the last of it fading away as he kissed his way back up her chest. When their lips reconnected, she reached between them and began unlacing his pants.

Her body weakened at the sound that escaped his lips as she took him in her hand, his head dropping to her neck. He nearly collapsed onto her, struggling to continue as their lips moved together. She pulled him to her, her body welcoming him as he entered slowly. He pushed forward with a gentle kind of urgency that made her stomach dip in anticipation. He brought his big hands to her legs and pushed them apart enough so that he could watch himself slide into her willing body.

It was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. She chewed her lip and when he glanced up to her and smiled, seated fully then, she, too, smiled.

"Kiss me, please," she said, breathlessly.

"You don't have to say please." He laughed and spread himself over her, his elbows the only thing keeping his big body from crushing hers and Instead of feeling trapped, she felt completely safe.

His body remained still as they kissed, letting the action between them sink in as he filled her completely. She didn't roll forward as he thought she would have, like she had done before when their clothes were still on. Kahlan slid her nails down the sides of his arms, breaking their kiss as she pushed her head back into her pillow with a louder than intended moan of his name. The way he felt within her had been something she had held onto since she was captured, but now she found it impossible to believe anyone else could have taken her. He fit perfectly, as though no one else could and there was no pain, nothing that suggested that it was wrong and his body trembled exquisitely with hers.

His head jerked up from her neck at her soft whimper, the first and only sign of her tears. "Spirits, Kahlan, I'm-"

"No," she said heatedly, her eyes opening and finding his as though she could see him. "Please don't go."

Wiping the thumb of his left hand beside her eye, he removed the tears. "You're crying."

Shaking her head, she smiled and pulled his chest closer to hers. "No, I'm... I'm sorry, I'm not-" A long, drawn-out moan left her lips and her hold on him tightened, her face, at last, revealing the pleasure she felt.

Snaking his right hand down her side, he found her leg and slowly lifted, bending her knee to allow him to come just a little bit closer. He kissed her jaw, his tongue slowly tasting the light glaze of sweat that collected on her neck. Moving slowly, he continued on, his hips lifting just slightly to add to her bliss. He was sure his mind should be spinning, telling him how it had been with the other man, but the only thought he could focus on was that this could only come from them, neither could experience anything more than the other.

His head was on her chest when she woke up, the familiar scrape of his beard comforting her. There was something all over her body, making her smile as she realized what it was. It had begun rubbing against his shoulder and leg but, as they continued, it spread like a wild fire. The clay had dried sometime during their activities, clumping on both of them in the oddest places. She could feel it beneath her chin, a place his forehead had rested against while he kissed around the Rada'Han that graced her neck. Whatever the ingredient was the wizard had put in there for sleeping had taken its effect on them both, collapsing once they had finished.

She could feel his slow and steady breath on her chest, warming the goosebumps that arrived as his hand pulled himself closer. He was nearly on top of her, his weight leaning against her left side, perfectly avoiding her wounds. Their legs were tangled together, leaving her to question which were her own as she shifted her body beneath him. She almost laughed as she felt the paste pull on her side, wondering how and when it arrived there. His breathing quickened at her movement, freezing her instantly in the hope that she had not waken him.

She took a moment to strain her eyes once more, wishing that she would see something, anything. It was tiring, living in darkness and though her other senses seemed to have heightened, she missed the sight of his face. Her mind raced back to their previous actions and Kahlan quickly found herself wanting. It wasn't just the feel of him that was different, everything about it was. Richard could hold back long enough to push her over but, also explode within a breath. He could finish and still be hungry for more, his body continually ready for hers, unlike her captor, who could only do so much.

Richard had spent a good portion of their time teasing her. She grinned at the memory, the soft scrape of his beard against her stomach and inner thighs, his mouth moving everywhere, except for where she thought she wanted him. He smiled against her skin as she pulled at his hair, his name leaving her lips on a constant roll until he covered them with his own.

Running her tongue over her lips, she grinned. The warmth of his own still lingered and she found the feeling to be as comforting as him in her arms.

"Are you alright?" Richard asked as his head popped up from her chest. "Your heart is racing."

"I'm fine," she blushed. "I was just... Reliving the last few hours."

"Do you want help?" he teased with a wide grin. "I think I may be able to provide a better assistance than your memory."

Lifting an eyebrow, Kahlan cocked her head seductively. "I don't know, I remember it quiet well."

"I'm sure I can make it come to life."

"You may-"

"Richard? Kahlan? Are you two coming out for breakfast? You missed dinner and-"

"We fell asleep" Richard said over his shoulder as the older man opened the small door and peered inside.

"How did the mixture work?" the wizard asked curiously, oblivious to their previous actions.

Kahlan's head turned in embarrassment, a smile clinging to her lips. "It worked well, thank you. I must have fallen asleep after a few minutes."

"Your body will heal faster in sleep," he explained while his eyes took in the sight of them before him. They were laying close and though she was covered well, he couldn't help but wonder what had gone on between them. "Are you two alright?"

"Fine," Richard said quickly, but Kahlan shook her head.

She could hear something in his voice, something that told her he was concerned and she knew how he would react if he knew what they had done. "It's been harder for me than we'd like," she replied softly, letting her emotions fill her voice. "I don't know how much more of this I can take." Richard's eyes were locked on her face, almost forgetting his grandfather was near. He knew she had been keeping something from him, but as she spoke, he realized that he didn't truly understand just how much it was. "Richard's been trying to get me to get up but, I... It's dark no matter where I go."

"Give it time, dear one. Your sight may yet return."

Nodding, she forced a smile, wishing once again, that she could see. "We'll join you for breakfast in a few minutes." Zedd left quietly, but she knew the instant he was gone, because Richard pushed against her. "We should join them for breakfast."

"Are you hungry?"

She was grateful for his words, relieved he hadn't mentioned hers but, she was sure it would come later. Turning her face to him, she grinned. "Not for food." A low growl left his lips just before they connected with hers in a passionate kiss, one she let continue for only a moment. "He's going to come back."

"We should clean you up first," he chuckled, scratching the fingernail of his left hand over the paste, beneath her chin.

"Leave it," she whispered. "I like the way it feels."

"Are you sure?"

Nodding, she ran her hand up his arm to his face, gently cupping his cheek. "I'm sure."

"Do you want me to find you something else to wear?"

"Did you bring a Confe-"

"It may be wrinkled," he told her softly. "I stuffed one into my pack before I left Aydindril."

Lowering her hand back to the bed beneath them, she smiled. "I don't think I'll notice."

Nudging his nose against her jaw, he choked back a laugh. "The men may notice, they might even mock you-"

"What would you like me to wear?"

"If we stayed in here, you wouldn't have to wear anything."

"I have all night to wear nothing. I can lay here, naked..."

"We could start now, I could keep you warm."

"And when he returns?"

"You'll pretend to be sleep and I will greet him with a smile."

She laughed, shoving her hand against his shoulder, briefly surprised she had hit her target. "Will you help me get dressed?"


	8. Chapter 8

"If I stay in that carriage another day, I'm going to go mad."

"If you- There is nothing I can say that will change your mind, is there?"

Shaking her head, Kahlan grinned. "I'll be fine, I promise."

"I'm going to ride with you."

"I thought you might." Turning away, she took a few steps and then stopped. "The horses are the other way, aren't they?"

Laughing, Richard reached out and took her hand. "Yes. here, I'll take you over there."

"Glad to have you join us, Mother Confessor."

"Thank you, Dean," Kahlan smiled, hoping she was looking close to where he was. "I hope you can keep up."

The man's laugh filled the air around them as Richard helped the Mother Confessor onto their horse. "I believe you're the one who will have to keep up, we have to ride ahead of you to keep us all safe."

Tossing him a smile, she nodded. "And we are very thankful."

"Hold onto the reins," Richard said as he brought them to her hands. "And don't pull away as I- Kahlan!" he laughed as she urged the horse to move without him. "Where are you going?"

"Wherever he wishes to take me," she replied over her shoulder, teasing him another moment before bringing the horse to a stop. "I'm sorry, I couldn't resist."

He must have jumped on, because he was behind her in an instant, his arms circling her waist. "You could have run into a tree."

Kahlan dropped the reins and gasped, forcing back a smile. "Is the horse blind too?" The men around them laughed, almost drowning out Richard's as he nudged his chest against her back. "I think he'd make sure not to get hurt himself."

"Will you two hurry up?" Zedd called over his shoulder to them. "If we don't get moving, we can't stop for lunch!"

"We wouldn't dare keep you from lunch," Richard called up to him, making sure he didn't yell in Kahlan's ear. "I don't think his mind can focus on anything other than food."

"He knows what's important."

"Are you feeling alright?" he asked as her body jerked in his arms.

"Yes, I'm just- I forgot how it felt to ride. I'm sorry, you don't have to worry about me."

"I'm always going to worry about you."

"You're about to ask me about what I said this morning, aren't you?"

"Only if you want to talk about it."

"It's frustrating," she told him quietly, leaning against him slightly. Her eyes were closed, but it didn't matter, she couldn't see either way. "I keep expecting it to change, but all I see is darkness." He was quiet and she was glad that he was, knowing that he couldn't say anything that would make it easier on her. "I miss looking at everything. The colors, movement... The small glimpse of something in the corner of my eye. I don't know how much longer I can- If I accept the way I am now, I feel like I've lost even more."

"Maybe Zedd will find a way to help you."

"I think he's done everything there is. But, I- I do wonder something."

"What?"

"What do they look like? My eyes?"

Resting his chin on he shoulder for a moment, he sighed. "They're still blue, only lighter, a white glaze surrounding them."

"Oh."

"They're still captivating, though," he added through a whisper. "I don't want to look away."

"I wish I could see you."

"You may change your mind," he told her. "I haven't shaven in weeks."

She laughed, "I noticed." Turning her head slightly, she held her smile. "I like it." His hips rocked forward without warning, a low growl leaving his lips at the tone of her voice, the gentle seduction she managed to use on three words. "Does it itch?"

"Sometimes, but I think I'm getting used to it."

She wanted to tell him that she hoped he did, that when it scratched against her skin, the burn was a welcomed pleasure, but she didn't. "What color are the leaves?"

"They're a light green, the shade they get right before fall and change colors."

"My favorite," she whispered into the air. "Where are we?"

"Lord Maddison's land, a little more than a week from Aydindril."

"A week?" she questioned sadly. "I can't return like this."

"What-"

"I'm no use without my sight and without the key to the Rada'Han, I'm- I can't return like this."

"It's your home."

"It's a Confessor's home," she corrected him, quietly. "Even if she has the key, I can't see to provide a correct reading, any Confession I do cannot be trusted. I am useless without my sight and magic."

"You're not useless, Kahlan."

"What can I do without my magic? Richard, I can't even protect myself. I would be walking into walls and destroying everything we've fought so hard to create. If my people cannot trust my abilities-"

"Your army trusts you," he told her through a whisper. "There's no need to worry, I promise. If you cannot use your magic, that doesn't mean you can't pass it on to your children." Her body tensed against his at the words, making him almost regret saying them. "Our children," he added through a whisper to ensure no one else could hear.

"You don't want to have children with me, Richard," she told him just as softly.

"Yes, I do."

"I can't see," she said almost angrily. "I have no magic, I cannot teach them anything and I... I know what you're going to say, but it does matter. It matters to me. I know that there is a way to raise children this way, but-"

"It's not you," he completed her sentence without fail. A part of her was almost surprised that he understood, but she knew that there was never a moment when he wasn't trying as he listened. "They'll have pieces of you," he said through a single breath. "They'll know you so well and as part of us, you'll be able to raise them exactly the way you've always wanted." He chuckled, tightening his hold on her. "And I assure you that they will be very beautiful, so you won't have to worry about them having a hideous face that makes people want to cut out their own eyes."

Her smile spread quickly, covering her face as she began to relax in his embrace. "Who knows, they may end up looking like Zedd."

"You're right, we'll have to make sure that doesn't happen."

"This is a dangerous game, Richard."

"Not for me," he countered quietly. "I know that you are afraid of hurting me, but you won't. You didn't before and-"

"I can't now," she said hastily. "Not without my magic."

"That's not what I meant and you know that. Kahlan, the life I want with you has nothing to- If you were able to see and confess me and everyone in your sight, I would still be there, hoping for the chance to have this life. I don't want it with you because somehow I believe now is the time you'll agree, because I- I don't know if you will and I am terrified of losing you."

"I'm sorry," she said instantly, her hands grabbing his arms to hold them close. "I was- I keep feeling... Thank you for not seeing me the way I do."

Nudging his nose against her shoulder, he fought a laugh. "You can't see, your words can't be trusted. You don't know how to see yourself."

"I think I see myself better than most."

"Perhaps," he whispered, "but you can't see clearly because you're too close. You've been taught to see yourself a certain way, the way they want you to."

"And how is that?"

"Like that's all that you are."

"In case you didn't notice, without my magic-"

"You're still Kahlan."

"I feel different."

"That's because you're sitting against me."

His words had the desired effect, she laughed. "Sitting with you makes me feel better. Happier."

"Me too."

"You make yourself feel happier?" she asked with a smile.

"Only when I'm near you."

Leaning back against him, she took in a slow breath, letting the soft breeze blow over her face as she enjoyed the ride. "I like this better than the carriage."

"I like the carriage," he said in a tone that told her his true meaning.

"At times, so did I." Turning her head, she opened her eyes and imagined seeing his face. "Richard, I- If I was to ask you to take me away, if you didn't return me to Aydindril, would you?"

He was quiet for a few moments and she knew better than to push while he thought. She wanted his answer, his completely worked out plan to the response he would give. "It's your home, Kahlan." His arms tightened around her, telling her that he wasn't finished yet. "I don't understand why you wouldn't want to go home, but if you truly wanted to go somewhere else, I would take you there. When your sight returned or when you gave birth to our first child, I would drag you back," he told her calmly. "It's your home, Kahlan."

"But it doesn't have to be ours," she said through a whisper. "We don't have to live that way, we can be free."

"We are free."

Her head shook as her fingers moved over his, circling the reins. "If I return to Aydindril, they will expect me to continue with James."

"Kahlan, I..." He stopped himself slowly, realizing that there were still parts of the story she didn't know. If he told her, he wondered if it would change anything. "The council will not expect you to be with him."

"He's my mate," she started in surprise. "How-"

"James is dead." He felt her body stiffen for a moment before her head fell forward in sadness. "He attacked us when we tried to rescue him, they had no choice."

Tears collected in her eyes, her body now shaking as she allowed herself to imagine how the woman in her dungeon would feel when she learned. "We must bring him back to her."

"We are," he said quietly. "I knew that you would want him to be buried properly."

"I destroyed that woman's life."

"No you didn't. Kahlan, he was not all that she had and if she had left you alone, he would have returned to her. You were going to release him, she would have-"

"A man laying in her bed who loved another." Turning her head slightly, she allowed her tears to fall. "It's what I'm afraid will happen when I'm with you."

"I will never love someone else."

"Not if I was to have you the way that I want," she told him. "Jessica wouldn't have been happy with him. He would have had no choice but to stay with her and that- The choice someone makes to love you, the freedom in it, it changes things."

"And if you were to confess me, I'd no longer have a choice." He finished her sentence in a single tone, one making her want to question him. "But I've already chosen you. I chose to love you long ago and just because your magic went through my body, it-"

"It would keep you from being able to change your own choice. The woman you deserve should wake up every morning in your arms and know that you've chosen her. After every fight, every kiss and after every woman you see that you could possibly care about, you chose her. Every day you chose to stay, you choose to hold-"

"We have that, Kahlan. Every day I am here, I am with you and I will chose you for every moment more. I understand what you're saying and I know that there is a difference between those lives, but I cannot imagine a single day away from you. I will always chose you and you have never touched me with your magic. I'm not afraid of it, Kahlan. I want to feel your magic, to know that part of you... But without it, I am still yours and I know that you will always chose me."

"Richard-"

"Your body isn't mine," he whispered, slowing their horse, knowing that she was going to say that she couldn't be his after what she had done. "But your heart, that is mine. What went on between you and that man, that wasn't about anything other than a few moments out of pain and when you're with me, it's not the same."

"How do you know?" she asked in a voice that revealed her true emotions.

They had come to a stop, Richard nodding at the men as they passed to be sure they continued without question. "Don't do this, Kahlan. You don't have to-" His forehead rested against the back of her shoulder as he released a sigh, failing to find the right words to say. "You love me," he stated factually. "We don't have the life you think about, I understand, but we have one. Being together has never been about pleasures alone and not because of your magic."

"It was always about my magic," she whispered. "It was always the reason between us. That night in the forest, the first time you kissed me and every moment since."

"We have only become closer, your magic had no- Kahlan, I would have laid with you long ago, but the reason I didn't was not because I was afraid of what your magic could do to me."

"Richard, we have to keep moving. They're going to-"

"I have never been afraid of being confessed to you. What kept me from rolling onto you and never letting go, Kahlan, I- I know what it would do to you and if in those moments of bliss you lost control and confessed me, you would kill yourself before I could take another breath. I can't lose you," he told her firmly. "I have always been happy with you, laying at your side because I knew that in both of our minds, there was no distance between us. You and me, we have never needed anything more."

"I want it," Kahlan admitted shamefully. "I've always wanted... I've never hated myself so much before." Licking her lips, she sighed in defeat. "I spent so many nights watching you sleep, wondering what it would be like."

"Now you know," he smiled before pushing his lips against the side of her neck. "That's what you've been thinking of, isn't it? Being together again. You are wondering that if we returned to Aydindril and Jessica told us where the key is to your Rada'Han, would I-. I'm going to make love to you just as before. Nothing will change."

"That's not the only thing I'm thinking of."

"What are you thinking about?"

"Everything." Grabbing his hands, she pulled the reigns. "Can we please go? They're disappearing in the trees."

"This doesn't end our conversation."

"No, but it will give me some more time to think."

The night was colder than she thought it would be, but she insisted on sleeping outside with the rest of them. She welcomed the cool air around her, letting it help her feel free. The men moved around her, watching carefully as she snuggled into her blanket. They had spent over an hour talking about anything and everything and as strange as it was, she enjoyed it. Before, she had never taken the time to talk to her men, always keeping to herself as other Confessors had done, but she liked talking to them. She learned what they liked and why, who waited for them at home and why they freely joined her army. It had been a surprise to her to hear that most of them had no intention of joining until she was named Mother Confessor. It was she, who brought them together, because they knew her differently. Though they rarely spoke, she was the one who brought their family food or insisted on giving someone they knew a second chance. Every decision she had ever made, even the smallest ones, seemed to be the ones they noticed, the ones that gained their trust.

Phillip had told her the story on when they set out to find her, letting her know that each man had gone voluntarily after Richard asked for their help. Asked. The word remained in her head as well as theirs, one of the very reasons they trusted him. The men had laughed as they revealed the Seeker's choice to go alone had they not joined him. They seemed to have believed he was mad for thinking that they wouldn't accompany him.

"Are you warm enough, Mother Confessor?" Dean asked a few steps away. "I can add more wood to the fire, you are sleeping farther away than the rest of us."

With a smile, Kahlan nodded. "I'm blind, I may roll into its warmth. Thank you, I am warm enough for now."

"We'd never allow you to roll in," he told her through a laugh. "But just in case you find yourself rolling closer, I'll put up a barrier."

"Thank you. Dean," she said quieter than the previous reply. "Has Richard-"

"No ma'am, he's still with the wizard. Would you like me to wake you when he returns?"

"No, that's alright. I'm sure I'm worrying too much."

"You can never worry too much for the ones you care about."

"Even if they can take care of themselves?"

"Even if," he said as he knelt down. "He's instructed us to slow our pace, though. We are no longer headed toward Aydindril."

"Where are we going?"

"Hartland. Your Seeker believes he can keep you happy there, he- He says you do not wish to return home. Forgive me, Mother Confessor, I should not have-"

"It's alright," she interrupted tenderly. "It's true. I don't want to return home, I'm afraid to."

"We will stand at your side, no matter where you wish to go. If the council wishes to bring you harm, we will not allow-"

"I am no good to our people like this. I cannot see, I have no magic, there is no true justice I can provide."

"Your magic is not the only thing your people need," he told her. "While you were away, many of us feared for our lives. The council should not be allowed to rule in your place. Again, I apologize. I should know my place."

"Your place?" she questioned as she sat forward. Reaching out, she found his cheek with her right hand, excited and relieved that he didn't pull away from her touch. "Your place is anything you wish it to be. If you are afraid, you do not have to hide it. If you disagree with a choice or decision, you may speak your mind. I will never ask you to hold your tongue, any of you."

Leaning is face into her hand, he smiled. "Thank you, Mother Confessor."

"What is it they have done?"

"It is not only what they have done to us that makes us afraid or unhappy. It is what they do and have done to you. They instructed us not to come after you, that is why your Seeker made a stand against them. They are no friend of yours. When you were away, when your kind were hiding, they revealed their locations to Darken Rahl's men. They were betrayed because they wished to keep order, peace and- They are dead and you are alive. If the men who captured you had succeeded, the council would rule. Many of us believe they helped Jessica. There should have been no way for those men to find you, for them to gain entrance to your palace and find you when not many knew where you would be." He sighed and sat down, moving just out of her reach as he decided to tell her everything the council had done.

Richard returned quietly, hoping she would be asleep when he returned, but as he stepped into the camp, he saw her and froze. She was sitting up with her shoulders back and head high, Dean at her side with a cup a tea in both of their hands. He watched as they spoke in whispers, concern and sadness coming to her face as he talked. The wind betrayed him, carrying his scent to her nose and causing her head to turn slightly in his direction, the other man falling silent as she smiled. He returned the action as he began walking toward them, even though he was sure she couldn't see him.

"What's going on?" he asked while kneeling down and accepting the cup she offered to him.

"We were discussing the current situation in Aydindril." Her eyebrows furrowed at her own words, telling him everything. "It's far worse than I thought."

"What do you want to do?"

Her smile returned as she shook her head. "What you knew I would want to when he told me. We have to go back."

Taking a quick drink of her tea, he grinned. "Alright. Tomorrow, we'll head north."

Taking back her drink, she leaned her shoulder against the other man's and closed her eyes. "Thank you, Dean."

"There's no need to thank me," he told her through a whisper, watching the way the Seeker looked at her. "I will begin my perimeter check." He stood and began walking, doing his best not to watch as the Mother Confessor sat down her cup and reached for the other man.

Moving her hands up his arms, she found his face and slowly came to her knees. Inching toward him, she brought her face closer to his until she was able to straddle his thighs. It was darkness all around her, leaving only him to exist beneath her touch. The other men around them watched in silence as she settled comfortably above him. "You're warm."

"Am I?"

Rocking her body forward slightly, she nodded, letting her lips graze his. Their kiss heated quickly, both forgetting that they weren't alone in the carriage. Holding their chests together, they continued to move together, a flaming kiss that neither wanted to end. With his fingers entwining in her hair, he pushed forward into her welcoming arms.

"He's thinking about it right now." Kahlan's body went stiff at the sound of the man's voice, their kiss ending instantly. "He's wondering how long you were above me... How deep I was within you."

Dean ran across their camp to one of their prisoners, slamming his fist into his face before he saw him approach. "Shut up!"

Michael laughed, sending a wave of chills through the Mother Confessor's body as tears began to collect in her eyes. Her nails were digging into Richard's neck, the only thing that kept her from falling down to the ground.

"Tell him!" Michael shouted in her direction. "Tell him what I did to you and how much you liked it. He will never be able stop imagining you beneath me, crying out in pleas-" His words stopped instantly as a loud cry of pain escape him.

As she swayed backward, he caught her instantly, her tears now falling rapidly down her cheeks. She choked back her cry, not wanting the others to know and since she couldn't see them, she was able to fool herself into believing they didn't. Dropping her hands, she went limp in his grasp and closed her eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered in her ear, nudging her cheek with his nose. "I didn't know he was so close to-"

"Please stop," she whispered painfully, the other man's actions spinning in her mind.

Pulling his head back, he nodded though she couldn't see him. "Do you want to get back into the carriage?"

"Yes."

He didn't carry her, like he wanted to, she wouldn't let him. Stumbling forward she let him lead her across the camp, her tears continuing to fall as they walked though the group of men.

"Kahlan?" Richard was leaning into the carriage, watching her. "We're going to be leaving soon." She remained quiet, clinging to a blanket while staring into her darkness. "Do you want to ride out here with us?" After another moment of silence, he sighed and pulled back. "I'll bring you another blanket, it's growing colder."

Her mind was busy with Michael's words, wondering if there was any truth to them. Richard knew that she had been with another man and it wouldn't be unreasonable for him to think about it, to be curious about- No. Interrupting her own thoughts, she went back to the moment he laid above her in this very spot. He had kissed her the way he had before and after she told him nearly every detail of her capture. He was still there too, she told herself. He had more moments that most to leave, but he was still here. Sitting up, she pushed her back against the wall of the carriage and sighed.

"This one is-" He lost his words as he looked inside and saw her new position. "This blanket is thicker than the others, it should keep you warm." Laying it over her legs, he pulled the soft cloth up until he was able to place it in her hands. "If you need a-"

"I'm sorry," she whispered. He crawled beside her instantly, his right arm circling around her shoulders. "Hearing his voice again..." She wiped her face quickly, hoping he wouldn't notice her tears.

"I wasn't thinking about you and him," he assured her, knowing what she wasn't going to say.

"How can you not? I do."

"You think about being with him?"

Nodding, she sighed. There was no use in keeping it a secret any longer, not when she was certain he would find out some other way. "It's hard not to. Everything that keeps spinning within my mind is of him. I cannot forget any of it, no matter how hard I try. There are moments when I can swear that I feel his hands on me, his mouth..." Turning her head toward him, she imagined his face, knowing that he wouldn't show any anger. "When you and I- I told you before that I could feel the differences but, when we were together, right here, it was the first time I truly remembered how it felt."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not sure that I can explain properly." Looking away, she leaned her head against his arm and tried to soak in some of his warmth. "It felt like I had been there for years and I... There were times when I wasn't sure that you weren't a memory I created. The other night, when you and I- When we were connected, it felt as though I had never been with anyone else." His mind was running faster than ever before, but he smiled at her words, pleased to know that he had taken away a portion of the pain she had been feeling. "I thought that maybe I could pretend none of it ever happened and that you and I could continue- I don't know, I thought that since we were together, you weren't upset that I had been with him and then he- All I could think about was what if he's right? How could I have been so foolish to believe that somehow we could move past what I had done and-"

"There is nothing to move past. Everything that happened with that man, they-"

"Did you do what they say you did?" He shrugged, not fully knowing what she heard them say. "Is that a yes?"

"He hurt you," he said quietly. "I had to make sure he couldn't do it again. I wasn't going to let him- I couldn't... He hurt you."

"You removed his... In defense of my honor?"

"It was the only justice I could find myself able to give you. I wanted to kill him, I wanted to watch his head fall from his shoulders and bleed into the ground."

"Thank you, Richard."

"You're not upset with me?"

"No," she replied quietly. "I think I'm relieved. What happened?"

"The other night, after we spoke about what happened, I- I waited for you to fall asleep and then I... I looked him in the eyes and as your men held him down, I cut off the only piece of him that he seemed to care about. I wanted to make sure he was never able to think of you like that again."

"I don't think he will be able to stop thinking about it now."

"But he will gain no pleasure from it. Any thought of you will remind him on what he has lost."

She chuckled, surprising them both. "Perhaps, but I-"

"You wouldn't have done the same thing, I know, but you were lying here and I- The only thing I could think of was making sure it would never happen again."

Turning her head toward him, she found his face with her hand and smiled sadly. "Thank you." He smiled against her hand, leaning into her touch as he tightened his arm around her. "What?"

"For a few moments, I thought you were going to say something about jumping me in front of your army." Her hand fell and her jaw dropped, the moment clearly having been forgotten. He laughed, loudly, shaking her body with his. "Don't worry, they won't say anything."

"I- Spirits, I had forgotten that they were there." Her cheeks were red, giving her away before she covered her face with both of her hands. "What must they think of me?"

"It could have been worse," he told her with a wide grin, imagining his next set of words. "I could have ripped open your dress and exposed us both to them all."

Leaning her head back against him, she fought back a laugh of her own. "I think you would have realized far quicker than that."

"Maybe, but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't have wanted to continue..." Bringing his mouth to her ear, he whispered, "And you would never know."

Kahlan pushed her elbow into his side and chuckled, allowing herself, for a moment, to imagine his thoughts before she asked something that she wasn't sure she wanted the answer to. "Richard, would it be alright if I asked you something?"

"Anything." From the sound of her voice he knew it wasn't something simple, something that she would ask lightly and knowing what she did, to her, it had to be heavy on her shoulders. The answer he may provide could change almost everything and though he knew the balance of it weighed on the response, he agreed with no pause.

"If you had known- If you had known what I did, what I was doing with him, would you still have..." It was difficult to speak the question, but he kept quiet, letting her find the words because they both knew that he already figured out what she wanted to say. "If you had known that I was with him, that I willingly accepted him within me, would you have continued with the search?"

Richard didn't reply right away, a blessing and curse to them both. Honestly, he knew that he never would have stopped searching for her, not even after learning that she was with another man. He loved her, no matter what happened and if she, at any point wanted him to stop, to leave her with that man, the only way he would allow it is if she spoke the words directly to him. He had thought about it a lot, more than he admitted to, but he knew that it wasn't in the way she would think that he had. He wondered if the man who they had chained behind all of their men had found someway to reach a part of her he couldn't. He wondered if even though it was he that she loved, did he find a way to give her a pleasure he couldn't. Michael had to have been skilled, a fact he knew to be true before Kahlan told him some of the things he had done to her and he, Richard, had only been with two women before. The things he thought about were foolish and he knew them to be, but they were still in his mind, mocking him as he remembered the way she panted his name, scratched his back and allowed him to do with her as he pleased. The other man may have experienced something similar, but it would have meant nothing, it meant nothing to her and yet, he wondered.

"I would always look for you," he told her once his mind returned to her question. "If I knew that you willingly let him- fill you," The words made him sick for a moment and he began to realize that though they had this conversation in different ways and at different times, it was still hard. "When I think about what you told me- What he told me, I understand, at least, I think that I do, but if I didn't hear it from you- Kahlan, if you were to tell me to stop searching, I would, but until that moment, I would spend every last breath trying to find you."

"You can tell me," she said after a moment of silence. "The thoughts that are spinning in your head... You can tell me."

He didn't know how she knew, but the instant he began to move, she shifted beside him, helping to ease him back so that his head rested in her lap above the blankets. "He raped you," he whispered in a way that made her believe that he felt the same pain she did on the subject, then she remembered that he had spent time with Denna and though he never told her everything, she knew he had experienced something similar. "I know how strong you are and how long you fought. I know that you did everything you could to get free and then it turned on you. But when I think about you crawling on top of him, doing those things you said, I feel lost. I feel angry that you or anyone could think that to be weakness. I can't imagine the strength it would have taken to give that man a part of you in order to stay alive. And I know what you've said, but I know what they've told me as well and... I wish so badly that I could have been there for you, that I could have been the one who wiped your tears instead of that woman's son and I wish that I could have stopped them from touching you and making you feel like that was all that you are worth, because it's not. It was all a lie. If I had known that you were sitting above him, running your hands over his chest, I would have continued to look for you. I would have known that it was my name leaving your lips when he worked you so hard, you had no choice but to let go." Tears were leaving down his face and into his hair, freed because he knew she couldn't see, but each drop came to rest on her fingers as she stroked his hair. "Even with you sitting above him, he was raping you."

"And now he will never rape another woman."

"The punishment came too late."

"No it didn't," she whispered and lowered her head to his until their foreheads touched.

"From the moment you left your bedroom that morning, I've wished I had gone with you. If I had been there-"

"It's not your fault, Richard."

Grabbing her face, he held it to his, breathing in her scent deeply. "Yes it is. If I had gone with you- If I didn't want to sleep, I would have been there when they came for you."

She could hear the sadness in his voice and with his tears on her fingers, she couldn't help but want to make him feel better. "If you had, you wouldn't have been able to come and rescue me."

"You wouldn't have been taken."

"Or maybe you would have died and I would have followed. We don't know what could have happened."

"No, we don't," he agreed quietly. "But I can't stop thinking about it. I want to believe that if I had gone with you-"

"He never would have touched me," she finished for him. "He won't touch me now."

"No, he won't."

"I think that is all that matters now."

"Will you tell me?" he asked in the voice she had come to know very well. He was ashamed to ask, to want her to speak more about it, but he had to know if Michael had told him the truth.

"Why?"

Shaking his head in her hands, he sighed. "The things he said... When I questioned him, he said that he..."

"Whatever it was he told you, I'm sure it is true." He didn't respond and she wondered what he was thinking, wishing that she was able to look into his eyes and know it all. "He wasn't you," she said as she pulled her head back and leaned against the wall once more. "The first time, when I was awake, I couldn't be sure what he was doing, he wasn't as- When I didn't react, he made sure I knew. He couldn't stop touching me, laughing with each movement as though he was winning a game."

"He finished quickly, leaving him to... Play until he could have me again. He never seemed to stop enjoying it," she said after a moment of silence. He was still lying in her lap and she knew he was looking at her with pain in his eyes. "When his knees began to hurt, he chained me to the wall or ceiling, anything to keep going. It was my punishment, he would tell me. I ran and must be punished... It made him laugh harder though, remembering my attempt at an escape. A blind woman trying to run half naked through the forest." She surprised him with a soft chuckle, "I suppose I should have thought about it a little more before running off. He kept me to himself, making sure the others couldn't come near me, no one except for Thomas, when he was finished with me."

"Did he-"

"No, not after I... I'm not sure what I did," she admitted.

"You touched him," Richard smiled in spite of himself. "You don't need you magic to make a man lose control of himself."

"Richard-"

"You protected yourself." He shifted his body, rolling onto his stomach as his hands moved over her blanket covered legs. "If you hadn't, who knows what he may have done to you."

"I encouraged him," she said so softly, she wasn't sure the words actually left her lips. "I knew what he wanted and I did everything I could think of to make him believe that I wanted it to."

"But you didn't," he said casually, like it was almost a ridiculous thought.

Shaking her head slowly, she frowned. "I'm not sure that I didn't."

"What do you mean?" There was a concern in his voice, a fear that stood out to her and for a moment she didn't respond. "What do you mean?" he asked just the same.

"If I didn't want him to- How could I have thought those things? If some part of me didn't want him to have me, why would I say and do things to make him want to?"

He almost laughed, a reaction he was glad he caught so quickly. After everything that had happened to her and after what they had done together, she still maintained a part of her child-like innocence. "Those things are second nature to us, Kahlan," he told her tenderly. "You thought them because you sensed what he desired and you were able to fool him into-"

"I didn't fool him," she whispered. "He lowered me to the ground and I..."

He didn't know where it came from, a surge of anger that he thought would tear him apart. She was sitting before him, a blank expression on her face and hearing the words that came from her lips, it was impossible to hold it in. Sitting up, he nearly growled in rage, his body beginning to move toward the door. "Maybe I should have left you for him."

Then he was gone.


	9. Chapter 9

The day had gone by slowly, each minute seeming to drag on and on as though there was no ending. She didn't eat, no matter how hard Dean tried. She barely spoke, though her tears were more than enough. Kahlan remained in the carriage, curled up like a child during a thunderstorm, waiting for the end. There were grumbles on the outside, the only thing she could hear before someone, anyone, was crying out in pain. She had heard sounds like that before, only then, they were her own. Richard, she thought silently. He had to be "questioning" one of their prisoners and it pained her to think who it was. She remain frozen for an amount of time she couldn't count, but suddenly she needed it to stop.

Moving her hands against the wall, she tried to find the door, desperately trying to get free. Without thought, she pushed, falling forward and outside, onto the cold ground. The sounds stopped as she struggled to get up, turning her head in her darkness trying to hear a sound from someone. Tightening her fists into balls, she lifted her head and took in a slow breath, the wind revealing their position. "Let him go, Richard."

"I can't," he stated angrily.

Swallowing, she took a step toward his voice, toward the soft cries of the man at his feet. "You will release him."

"Not until he's learned his lesson."

Running surprisingly fast, she slammed herself into him, every other man near, rushing from her path. "He has no lesson to learn! I am alive because of him!"

"Because he wanted you for himself!" Richard shouted as she moved her hands over the ground until she found Thomas. It made him angrier, watching as she pulled the other man close to her chest and tried to comfort him. "Let him go!"

"He did nothing to harm me, you will walk away."

"Do you want him,too?" he asked coldly, shocking every one of the other men. "Is that it? Whatever you had before, everything they did to you, you want more? Answer me!"

With tears in her eyes, she looked up to where he was screaming. "You have no right to say such things to me." Her voice and tears revealed everything that she hoped her face would not, a heartbreaking pain, felt by them all. "You asked me what was done, you told me that it didn't matter what they did to me, but it was all a lie, wasn't it? Whatever pain I had been feeling wasn't enough for you, was it? But now I understand, Seeker. I now know a pain far greater than before and yes, if it would have spared me this moment, you should have left me there with them."

Richard stared at her, angry and confused, his body shaking from the intensity of it all. "Someone take the Mother Confessor back to the carriage." No one moved except for Dean, coming to stand between them. "Get-"

"Perhaps you two need a few minutes alone."

The men left quickly, but made sure to stay within sight of them, wanting to see what happened next. Kahlan didn't move, she couldn't. Thomas' blood was covering her hands and dress, making her ache far more. She knew he was close, so close she could feel the warm rage radiating off of him. It made no sense to her for hours and now that she was before it, it all became clear. He was a jealous man, something she had never dealt with herself before and though he asked to hear what she had done, he didn't really want to know. The part that made it worse was the fact that talking about it made her feel better.

When she spoke to him about what had happened, it made her believe that they could move past it, that she could get beyond what had been done. It was all gone now.

"Kahlan, let him go."

With tears streaming down her face, she shook her head. "I can't."

"Why?" He sounded sincere in his question, but she couldn't be sure. She was afraid for another wave of his rage. "Speak!" he shouted after a moment, making her jump.

"Because while I was in that place, while I endured something I hoped to die from, he was there. He was there!" She repeated just as loudly as his previous word. "I laid on that floor, waiting for death to claim me and he was there! He was there, cleaning my wounds, talking to me as though I was more than a whore that they had purchased. I can't let go of him because I will not allow you to do to him any of which they did to me! I will not allow you to beat the sight from his eyes and then laugh as he stumbles to find a way out. I won't let you near him, Richard Cypher! Do you hear me?! You will not hurt the only person there who aided me!"

"Kahlan let him go. Zedd can heal him when he returns." She didn't move or speak, but he didn't really expect her to. There was a look on her face that said more than her words ever could. "I won't touch him," he said quietly. "I give you my word."

"Your word doesn't mean as much as it used to."

Sitting down, he crossed his legs and leaned forward. His elbows rested on his knees, his eyes on her as she continued to cradle the other man. "Then we'll sit here until he returns."

She continued to care for the other man as best she could, stroking her fingers through his hair and whispering something no one else could hear in his ear. It was a heartbreaking sight to see and harder to watch than he imagined, but he couldn't look away. He leaned into her touch, finding comfort in her every move, something Richard could understand completely. After a few minutes, she stopped crying and began to speak a little bit louder.

"I'm sorry," she told him in a whisper.

"Not your fault," he told her with a struggle. "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me, not after everything you did."

Opening his eyes slightly, he looked to the Seeker who continued to watch. "That's the one thing you didn't tell him, isn't it?"

"It's not what he wanted to hear." She spoke as though he was nowhere near them and unable to hear. She had wanted Richard to believe that he was the only hero in the story, but in truth, the beaten and bloody man in her arms, helped more.

"Tell him. He should know."

Closing her eyes, she breathed in the darkness. "I think it's too late for that."

"No, it's not. He can't understand until you do."

"It no longer matters."

Turning slightly in her arms, he looked up at her and tried to smile. "Remember what you once told me."

Shaking her head, she swallowed. "I can't."

"He's waiting for answers."

"Answers have only made things harder." Moving her head close to his, she whispered. "I'm afraid things will get worse."

"You're not in that room anymore, Confessor. If can never get worse than that. He loves you."

"Love fades."

"Not his. You can't see him, but trust me. A man only does what he did when he loves someone far more than they can say."

"I don't see how he could."

"Because you're blind," he whispered back to her.

Smiling, she shook her head. "No, I'm sure my sight wouldn't help me in this."

"Spirits, what's happened?" Zedd asked as he and three of the Mother Confessor's men.

Before anyone else could speak and to Kahlan's surprise, Richard stood and answered the wizard. "I lost my temper. You have to heal him."

"Very well. Kahlan, you will have to hold him still."

"I'm not going to let go of him."

Kahlan had Thomas brought to her carriage and then proceeded to stay by his side. She was lying on her back beside him, talking with her eyes closed as she tried to push the thoughts of what the Seeker had said out of mind. Richard stood outside, just at the door and watched, listening to their innocent conversation. He wished he was the one laying beside her, but after what he had done, he couldn't imagine a time when she would ever allow him to be close to her again. The words that had spilled from his lips were not ones he meant and he couldn't remember ever saying something to her that he didn't fully believe. He didn't know where the words had come from, but he had suddenly felt as though his blood was boiling in his veins. She had spoken so quietly and so innocently that he found himself enraged that she could speak about it so simply, though he knew better to believe it had been easy for her to talk about.

She seemed to be relaxed at the man's side and he didn't like it. He wondered what it was she had hid from him, why she had told him most of the other things and not whatever it was she kept secret. He refused to believe it was worse than what Michael had done to her. It couldn't be.

"Are you going to stand there all night?" Zedd asked his grandson through a whisper as he stepped behind him. "Come on, leave them to rest."

"I can't leave her with him. Not after what happened."

Pulling on his arm, the older man sighed. "Yes, you must tell me what happened."

Moving a few steps away, Richard closed his eyesand ran his hands through his hair. "I made a mistake and I don't know why."

He told the wizard everything, being sure not to leave out a single detail, in the hopes they could, together, figure out what happened. It took longer than he expected, but when he finished and met his grandfather's eyes, he saw the same expression Kahlan had held on her face. He knew where their hurt and anger came from, but he couldn't do anything to change it.

"Do you believe that she would have done any of those things if she believed she had a choice?"

"She always has a choice," Richard replied before thinking. "No, I- I don't know. Zedd, when I think about her with anyone else, with those men, I hate it." Sitting down, he looked over to the carriage and sighed. "When she took James, it didn't anger me. I was grateful for what he had been able to give her. When we laid together," he said in a voice that was softer than a whisper. His words shocked the other man, but he continuied quickly. "I could feel something with her that I had never felt before. I've been with other women before, but being with her was different, exciting and beautiful." Looking back to his friend, he sighed in understanding. "When she told me that she wasn't sure if she didn't want to be with him, with Michael, I- Zedd I was angry because I was afraid that she hadn't felt our love the way I did. What if she realized that any man could give her what she needed and... I know that she loves me, loved me," he corrected himself. "I know that to be true, but the desires we can have are not only saved for someone we love. I'm afraid I was wrong for thinking it to be good that she found a comfort in him during her time there."

"Richard," Zedd said softly, "you were not wrong and I understand how painful it must be to know that she has been with another, but you must think before speaking. We both know Kahlan. We know she loves you and had she truly been given a choice, she never would have sought pleasure in anyone other than you. Think of it from her side," he offered in advice. "You've been beaten for months, nearly escaped and then you learn that what you have been through, the torment you believed was the worst, was only the beginning. He raped her, Richard. She fought him for days, weeks and then one day, she wanted the pain to end. Can you imagine what she must had thought of. It would not have arrived to her easily, especially with her feelings for you. Every moment she was with him, she cried because she felt like she was betraying you; you know this. Kahlan, Michael and the man you beat today have confirmed that story. You have every right to be hurt, but not for your own pride. They hurt the woman you love, forced her into taking an action she never would have and nearly breaking her. When you submitted yourself to Denna to end some of the pain, was that any different?"

"No," he answered instantly.

"You are not angry with her," the wizard added. "You are angry that what she went through makes her question her decisions. She's reliving that torment in her own mind, Richard. That is what angers you."

"Then why did I say what I did to her?"

"Because you want her to be angry with you as you are with yourself. You want her blame you, but she doesn't."

"And as long as she is angry with me, I can pay for my mistake."

"You couldn't have known. She knows that there was nothing you could have done."

"There must have been."

Kahlan felt her way out of the carriage, leaving Thomas' side to enter the cool night forest. Dean was at her side at once, easing her down to the ground while wrapping a blanket around her.

"I'm sorry about your friend," he told her quietly.

"Thank you." With a sigh, she turned her head, looking right in the direction of the Seeker who stared at her. "Will you help me get to him, please?"

"Are you sure?" he questioned hesitantly.

Nodding, she grabbed the man's arm and took in a breath. The wind had blown past him, bringing his scent to her in a warmth she expected from him alone. "If I don't speak with him, I'm afraid of what will become of us."

"Be careful, there is a slight dip in the ground, two steps, easy. There, don't worry, if you step on any of the men, they won't mind." They chuckled softly for a moment as they continued moving, easing around the sleeping men.

Richard remained still, partly in shock that she was approaching him and partly because her beauty made him freeze. She was before him in a matter of moments, kneeling down carefully as she moved her hands over the ground around her. Neither spoke for a minute, maybe it was ten, she couldn't be sure, but when she heard him sigh, she knew it was time to try.

"Why?" It was the only thing she seemed to be able to push out of her lips.

He shrugged, forgetting for a moment that she couldn't see him. "I don't know," he said quietly. "One minute I was alright and the next I was imagining you and him together and you were happy."

"I was never happy," she told him through a painful whisper. "There was never a moment when I wasn't thinking about you. I know that what I did was wrong, I do, but I can't apologize for it anymore. I know you would have found another way, but I'm not you."

"I didn't mean what I said."

Her head tilted in question. "Didn't you? It came from somewhere, Richard."

"Anger."

"That was more than anger. I could hear it in your voice."

"I can't explain it Kahlan."

"You have to try," she told him. "Please."

"I was angry with you. I hated that you could have found pleasure or happiness with anyone else. I know you said that you weren't happy, but I- In that moment, I could see you above him and I..." Releasing a sigh, he rubbed his face with his hands and leaned forward. "I don't- I hate that you went through all of that."

"That's what it comes down to, doesn't it?" She always had a way of figuring things out. From a speech of words, she could find the ones that meant more than the others, the meaning of it all. "You're angry because you didn't protect me." She gave a soft laugh of disbelief and shook her head. "Spirits Richard, why would you want me to blame you for this? We both know if you had come with me, there is no reason to believe I never would have been taken. Things happen, terrible things take place all of the time and we cant stop them all. There is nothing to blame you for because you had no knowledge of what was to happen. I don't blame you for not coming with me, I don't think I would have let you. I cannot blame you because you saved me and that is worth far more than you preventing it all."

"How can you say that?" he questioned in pure confusion. He always knew that her mind worked differently; that she saw things in another shade, but he couldn't understand where her conclusion came from.

"You looked for me. After everything- the council denied you and after every dead trail, you kept looking and because of that, I'm not chained to their wall any longer. You found me when no one else was looking." He stared at her in silent awe, once again blown away by how special she was. "Richard?" she asked almost in panic, her hands reaching forward for him.

"I'm here," he told her quietly. "I didn't- I don't know what to say."

"Tell me the truth," she whispered as he laid his hands over hers. "Has what I've done destroyed everything we had."

"No," he answered swiftly. "It has changed nothing, but I can't say that it doesn't bother me."

"Then we are in the same tree," she said with a half smile. "I can't take it back, Richard, no matter how much I may wish to." Lowering her head, she tried to hide her reddening cheeks as she began to reveal something private. "When you and I made love, it felt like- I would have sworn that you were the only man I've been with."

He knew what she meant, the feeling of their bodies joined had given no sign or suggestion that she had ever been with Michael and through it, he had laid above her and knew that in her heart, she hadn't been. He meant what he said before about her body not belonging to him, but the way she spoke of their time made him wonder if to her, it did. "I'm sorry that I hurt you. I never should have allowed myself to believe, for a second, that you enjoyed their company more than mine."

She smiled, the one she did only for him, fully and wide, brightening his spirit. "I want no other company than yours."

He moved before thinking, pushing into her as he connected their lips is a hot, fiery kiss. She returned the kiss without hesitation, welcoming him against her. Richard pulled her onto him, returning her to the position they had previously been in before Michael interrupted. The blanket fell from her shoulders and onto the ground, his warmth being all she needed.

Breaking their lips apart, he panted, holding his forehead against hers. "I'm sorry."

Running her fingers through his hair, she smiled. "I know; it's alright."

"I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"No," she whispered as she shook her head. "We're going to put it behind us. I don't want the moment to ever reenter our thoughts."

"I'll never forget, Kahlan."

"Neither will I, but I will not let it linger over our heads. It will destroy us."

Running his hands up her back, he circled her shoulders. "You're right. Do you want to get out of the cool air."

"I don't want to spend the night in there," she told him quietly. "We both know how that will effect-"

"You shouldn't have to freeze-"

With a smile, she pulled her head back, expecting, for a moment, to meet his eyes. "Then you'd better hold me tighter."

He smiled widely and nodded, pulling her chest to his in a hug, while he grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around her back. "Is this better?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Are you tired?"

"No, my heart is beating too fast." A soft growl left his throat, making her laugh. "Not a chance, Seeker. We're in the open, there will be no removing of the clothes."

"We don't have to remove them," he seduced perfectly in her ear. "Or we can find a quiet place in the trees..."

Digging her fingers into his shoulder, she tried to stop herself from rocking forward in need. "We shouldn't..."

His hold didn't loosen at her words and she was grateful. She had worried that by denying them this chance, it would upset him or cause him to rethink what they had just discussed, but all thought faded away as he moved his lips up and down her neck.

Teasing the spot on her neck she adored his attention, he tightened his arms around her waist. He could feel her struggle to remain still, her head tilted to the right while his mouth continued tasting the side of her neck. He wanted to give her what she wanted, what she needed, but he couldn't bring himself to make the first move again. She had said that she didn't want them to be seen, but when she declined the offer to go out into the forest, he knew that they hadn't fully returned to that place between them. He felt lucky to be this close to her. After what he had said, he feared she would never allow him to come near her.

Pulling back, he held her to him and then slowly began to lower them to the ground. Her head instantly tucked beneath his chin, her breath warming his neck. The blanket remained around her as they snuggled closer, but as though sensing his coldness, she moved it to cover them both.

"It's only going to get colder," he told her quietly.

"Not if we stay like this."


	10. Chapter 10

He watched her as she gripped the reins of the horse, a look of concentration on her face as she listened to everything around her. It was hard on her, not being able to see, and though when he asked her about it, she'd smile and find his face with the palm of her hand. She would tell him she could still remember the way things used to look and as long as she held onto them, it wouldn't be difficult. He wished there was a way he could help her, any way to return her sight, but the wizard was clear, there was nothing more they could do until they finished healing themselves. He had argued with his grandfather for hours, days even, begging him to push just a little bit farther and try to help, but Kahlan told him that it wouldn't be worth the risk.

Whatever she said, went. If she asked him to rip off his clothes in the snow and then run around until he no longer could, he would with no hesitation. He would be freezing, yes, but he knew that there would be a reason behind her words and he trusted her completely.

"You're staring," she said quietly, stopping his mind from continuing his thoughts.

"How do you know?"

"I can feel your eyes."

Letting out a soft laugh, he brought his horse closer to hers. "Everyone is staring at you, you can't possibly feel my eyes over theirs."

Returning the laugh, she blushed. "They weren't thinking about removing clothes."

"How did you-"

"The tone of your voice," she told him. "You sounded embarrassed."

"Alright," he agreed quietly. "You're right, but I couldn't help but wonder how Dean would look in a dress."

Kahlan's laughter nearly stopped the caravan, the men turning their heads toward the couple as the Mother Confessor leaned forward for a heavy breath. She remained on the horse, who didn't seemed surprised or bothered by her actions, who continued to follow the others without missing a step.

"Dean?" Kahlan asked loudly, turning her head in the last direction she had heard his voice. "Have you ever thought of wearing a dress?" she asked as he gave a short reply.

The men roared with laughter as the man grew confused, the question being far from what he expected.

"I'm sorry?"

With a wide grin, she held her face in his direction. "Have you ever thought of wearing a dress?"

"No, ma'am."

Motioning toward Richard with her head, she chuckled. "The Seeker has been wondering what you would look like in one."

Dean laughed, surprising the others as he moved his own horse closer to the couple. "If it would please the both of you, I can try to squeeze into one of the Mother Confessor's dresses. Though," he added after a beat. "I don't believe I can do one justice."

"I would never ask you to do that," Kahlan smiled. "I am far too fond of my dresses." The men set off in another uproar of laughs, making the Mother Confessor giddy. She liked it this way. She liked having them all around her, men she knew she could trust, who would willingly throw themselves in harms war for her and then requested nothing in return. If only it could remain this way. "I'm sorry to have placed you into that," she told him quietly.

"It's alright, ma'am. I understand and I do believe the sight of me in a dress would be as funny as we imagine."

"Indeed."

"Seeker-"

"I'm not putting on a dress," Richard said quickly, making the men's laughter continue.

"I wouldn't believe otherwise," Dean snorted. "I was merely going to suggest imagining someone else in a dress."

The Seeker beamed, his eyes coming to Kahlan. "I have every intention to."

Their group was silent for a few minutes before Kahlan pulled on the reigns of her horse. "Richard, there's someone in the trees."

"What?" He asked quickly, looking around. "How-"

"I can hear them, they've been following us for a little over an hour. They are on our right, traveling just behind the trees. I can't be sure how many."

"Dean, take a few men, we seem to have guests." The Seeker motioned to the trees with his head as he rounded his horse around Kahlan's to keep himself between her and them. "If they show any signs of a threat, take them down."

"Yes, Seeker."

He kept her moving, his eyes trying to shift back and forth between her and the trees, but without making it obvious to his intentions, it was difficult to do. "No one is going to hurt you," he said factually.

"I know." Her voice was calm and collected. She was sitting straight and seemed to be at ease, making him believe that she felt safe. "I'm sure it's just a few townspeople. We are getting closer to Aydindril, they may want to return word that we have survived."

"Have you thought of what you will do when you return?"

Nodding, Kahlan grinned. "I'm going to take a bath."

"That's not what I meant," he whispered to her.

"It's complicated. I cannot be sure which of them is to be trusted. I am afraid to punish them all for what may have been a decision of a few. I don't know, I think I'm finding it hard to believe they all want me dead."

"Maybe they-"

"You were there, Richard. If you didn't believe it to be true, you wouldn't have... I don't know."

"Maybe you're right. Maybe they were just afraid to start a war or-"

"We both know that isn't true." Releasing a sigh, she slouched her shoulders. "Have the men found anyone?"

"I don't know, I can't see them."

"Maybe you should-"

"I'm not leaving you. If they needed help, we would know it."

Nodding, she licked her lips. "Maybe."

"Do you want to stop soon? Rest?"

"No, I was hoping to keep moving until nightfall. We've lost so much time already."

"You shouldn't push yourself."

"I have to," she told him. "If I do what I feel like I should, I would never return home."

"Feel?"

"I'm exhausted." It was a simple answer, but the way she said it told him so much more. It was the first time in days she seemed to lose control of herself and the sound of her voice was past weak. "I want to lay down and sleep until I'm old."

He chuckled, his hand coming over to rest on hers. "You'll never be old. You're going to say this way forever."

"Since I can't see, I can imagine that I will."

"I'll show you," he told her in a voice that made her body quake. "You'll see. I'm going to make sure you know how beautiful you are."

"Richard-"

"I've made up my mind, Kahlan. You won't get rid of me, ever. When we return to Aydindril, I will stay by your side until my last breath."

"You may not be able to," she told him. "Have the men-"

"They're coming. Dean is dragging someone behind him."

"The others are dead, this one surrendered. I thought you would like to speak with him."

Kahlan pulled her horse to a stop, her eyes straining to see. She wondered if she knew the captive, if she had seen the man before and if the council had sent him to kill her. She knew Richard would speak. He would do what he needed to to get answers and it was more than likely that his mind was thinking the same thoughts. Swallowing, she felt the chill in the air as he shifted in his saddle, his hand leaving hers as the men came closer.

"Why were you following us?" he asked in a hardened tone. The man remained quiet and Richard growled, jumping down from his horse to get closer. "If you do not answer me, I will assume you to be a threat and will kill you before you have another breath.

"Orders."

"What were they?"

"We were supposed to send word if the Mother Confessor was still alive."

"To who?"

"The High Council of Aydindril."

"Why?" There was a heavy anger in the Seeker's voice as he spoke, noticed by them all.

"They believe her to be dead."

"Do they want you to kill her?"

The forest seemed to grow silent after his question, the animals seeming to know the importance of the reply the man kneeling would give. Richard stared down at the man, taking a long look at him the way Kahlan would to see the truth. The man wasn't young but, he wasn't old either and from the look on his face, he was fairly certain the man was not as weak as he wanted them to believe. Locking his jaw, he suddenly pulled his sword and held it to the man's throat, watching his reaction. Moving quickly, he pushed forward and killed the man.

Kahlan jumped in her saddle as the man made a croaking choke and then fell to the ground. "How many others were there with him?"

"Three," Dean said instantly. "The others rushed us; died quickly."

"This one was their leader. Look here," he told them all as he knelt down and pushed the mans shirt down to reveal part of his shoulder. "He's an assassin. We have to move faster and keep a better look, we can't let anyone near her. Kahlan," he said quickly, coming to her side. "I'm going to be riding with you." He was crawling up behind her before she could respond, wrapping his arms around her waist to reach for the reins. "I'm going to need you all to circle us."

"Richard, I'll be fine, they don't need to-"

"It's the only way to keep you safe."

Nodding, she leaned into him with a smile. There was nothing she could say that could change his mind. He would protect her, no matter what. "I'm going to rest then," she said through a whisper, her eyes closing as he helped her settle comfortably against him. "Don't run us into a tree."

Grinning, he tightened his arms around her. "I wouldn't dream of it."

She had fallen asleep during the ride, her body's exhaustion taking over to further prove her previous words. She seemed to be relaxed in his arms, but he would have sworn she had been getting a good nights sleep the few nights before, now he could see that she had received no such thing. He wanted to lay her in the carriage, hoping she would be sleep, but Thomas was still in there and he didn't want to risk upsetting her by making him walk behind them with the other prisoners. He enjoyed having her in his arms and to keep her safe, he had to hold her tight. Another pleasure of the moment. Her scent swelled around him, holding a smile to his face. It was almost difficult to believe that she could sleep this way, but when the thought came to his mind, he wanted to think that it was because she was in his arms and there was no safer place.

"If we move faster tomorrow," Dean said softly to the Seeker. "We can reach the Confessor's Palace by nightfall instead of the following afternoon. We shouldn't keep her out here any longer than we have to. Who knows how many more may try to attack."

"You're right. Tomorrow, she will remain in the carriage, she will be hidden there, as well as she can be."

The soldier smiled. "Good luck convincing her to hide."

"We need her to live, she will understand. We should continue for another hour and then make camp. Since we are in Aydindril, any attack on her will be under her laws. Their deaths will be punishment."

"Yes, Seeker."

"Kahlan, we are going to be stopping soon." He hated to wake her, but he knew that if she was, by the time they set up camp, she would be exhausted again and ready to sleep once more. The thought made him smile, pleased that he knew her so well. "Zedd says he will be cooking dinner, so we know it will be good."

"Well," she said sleepily, "we know it will be better than Paul's."

"Yes," he agreed with a laugh. "That's true. How are you feeling?"

"Alright. I'm surprised I fell asleep. I'm sorry, I must have been terrible company."

"No, we had wonderful conversations," he teased. "You told me that if I didn't shave soon, you were going to do it for me."

"I don't think you'd want a blind woman with a blade near you."

"You would think," he laughed. "The idea does intrigue me, though."

"I don't think you should shave. A trim, maybe... I like the way of feels."

"A trim? I could manage that. Maybe even let you help me with it."

Shifting in his arms, she turned her head slightly toward him. "Are you alright? Your arms are shaking."

"I'm fine. I think I am a little tired."

"Then you will be sharing the carriage with me tomorrow." She smiled, knowing that he was surprised she had heard him. "It's warm in there. Comfy, too and with a bed..." She let her words trail off, her body pushing back into him to intensify the meaning of her words. He responded instantly and just as his hands began to move up her stomach, she moved forward, easing the pressure against him significantly. "We're not warm and comfy in that bed yet," she said as he groaned in disappointment.

Pushing his forehead against her shoulder, he took in a deep breath and tried to calm himself, not wanting to draw attention to them. There was something about her actions, he didn't know what it was, but he couldn't shake the feeling that she was trying to distract him. It wasn't difficult, he told himself, he was always ready to respond to her touch and if she used it for her own benefit, he wasn't sure he cared. Before he knew it, he pulled back and sighed, needing to know. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she answered smoothly. "Tired, remember?"

He knew that they had just had this conversation, but he wasn't sure he could trust her answer now. "Do you want us to stop now?"

"No," she whispered. "We are already so close. Just a while longer."

"Alright." He wanted to push her, wanted answers, but he wasn't sure it was the right thing to do. If something was bothering her, she hid it for a reason and he hoped in time, she would tell him. "Are you tired of squirrel yet?"

With a soft chuckle, she shook her head. "Not yet. I think you've spread it out well enough between the deer and rabbits."

"We have some deer left if you-"

"I think you want it more than I do. I haven't seen you eat very much."

"I haven't been very hungry, but the soup Zedd made last night was good. I don't remember eating so much."

"That's because you're always sharing with me."

"Or you take it," he laughed.

"You're never going to forget that, are you?"

"No," he told her through a chuckle.

Leaning back against him, she closed her eyes and sighed. "In my defense, you wouldn't have liked it anyway."

"We will never know," he teased.

They set up camp quickly and before she knew it, she was sitting inside the carriage, waiting. She had to tell him soon, if she didn't, he would find out some other way. When he came to her for the night, she would tell him and accept the pain of losing him. It was inevitable, her secret was too great to overlook.

"Do you want anymore food?"

Shaking her head, she smiled. "No, Zedd can finish what's left."

Crawling into the small room, Richard made his way to her side, wrapping his right arm around her before kissing the side of her head. "Are you alright?"

"I have to tell you something." The words left her mouth in a whisper, her body fighting each one as they escaped her lips. "I- I need you to promise me something first."

"Anything."

"When I tell you, I need you to promise me that you won't say anything to the others."

"Alright."

Moving away from him, she crossed her legs and arms before her, using them to put more distance between them. "I..." Tears began to collect in her eyes as she faced the truth. She couldn't see him and it made it harder. He would always look at her in a way that made her melt, that made her feel like everything would be alright, but in this moment, when she needed it the most, she couldn't have it. Blinking out the tears, she lowered her head. "I'm pregnant." Before he could speak, she continued, needing to get it all out, needing him to know that the child within her wasn't his. "I've been trying to find the right words to tell you... For weeks, I... I'm pregnant," she whispered as she settled with her original statement.

It was quiet for a few moments and she thought she was going to lose her mind. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears and taste the pressure, while she tried desperately not to panic. His hands were suddenly upon hers, pulling them from her chest and stopping the twitch.

"Congratulations." Her head fell to the right, confused by the tone of his voice. It didn't sound anything like she expected. He didn't seem to be angry or upset. Indifferent, maybe. "You are going to be a wonderful mother," he added as the previous set of words sunk into her mind.

It was too much. She wanted him to be upset, to hate her for keeping it a secret, or carrying another man's child, but she couldn't find words. With her mouth open, she let her tears fall, but when his arms encircled her, she found her strength. "How can you say that?!" The words came out as a shriek, hurting both of their ears.

"Because it's true. Kahlan, this is what you've wanted. You're going to have a child, a beautiful daughter and she could have no greater mother. I know that you think that this is some kind of punishment." Her head jerked at his words, afraid that he had somehow been listening to her thoughts. "It's not, Kahlan. Something wonderful is coming from this and I cannot wait to chase her down the halls of the palace when it's time for bed."

"How can-"

"I'm not upset, Kahlan." Again, her mind quieted, terrified that he was lingering. "It doesn't change the way that I feel about you and-" Richard sighed and moved to sit beside her, hoping that the extra moment would help him to find the right words. "A part of me wishes that I had helped you to create her, but it doesn't stop me from being happy that she exists."

"I don't understand," she told him quietly.

His face came to her neck and he pushed his nose against her skin, a simple move that meant more than his words could. "Because you don't understand how much I love you. This child, she is a part of you and no matter how she was created, she is ours. I know that you are afraid, I am too. Kahlan, our fears are not entirely different," he added. "You're afraid that one day I will stop loving her or that I never will be able to because she is not mine and I am afraid that the day she learns I am not her father, I will lose her."

With her tears raining down her cheeks, Kahlan turned in his arms and crawled onto his lap, kissing him with everything within her. She felt broken and undesireable, but here he was, holding her in his arms as though she was a priceless jewel he couldn't live without. His kiss was the same as it had been before, passionate and warm and she couldn't believe it. Sliding his hands up her back, he circled her shoulder blades to bring her closer, lost in her warmth. She suddenly pulled back and slouched in his arms, needing to stay close.

"When did you know you were pregnant?"

Shaking her head she shrugged. "A few days after you rescued me." Inching back, she frowned. "I was so afraid to tell you."

"I'm sorry that I made it hard for you."

"You didn't- I was afraid to tell you because I thought- I think that this child would be a constant reminder of how I betrayed you. I didn't want you to look at her and see everything I did with someone else."

His hands came to her cheeks, his thumbs gently caressing her soft skin. "You are all I would think about when I look at her. She's a part of you, Kahlan."

Lowering her head, she sighed. "But she's part of him, too."

"Blood doesn't make family, Kahlan. You and I both know that." He kept his hands on her cheeks and inched his face closer. "She won't be anything like him," he added after a moment. "She's going to be just like you."

"We don't know that."

Grinning, he nudged his nose against hers. "She is going to be everything you want her to be, trust me. We'll take care of her and she will love you, so much, Kahlan."

Pulling his hands from her face, she laid them in her lap with his. "She'll hate me for what I've done."

"No, she won't. Kahlan, listen to me. You didn't do anything wrong or anything that would- She will know you and she will know that you are the strongest woman in existence." Moving his hands from hers, he wrapped them around her and slid them over her back, pulling her chest back to his. "This child within you, Kahlan she will know how lucky she is to have you as her mother, even when you disagree." Kissing her slowly, he pushed forward, needing more contact. "This is the start of our family, Kahlan."

Bringing her hands to his face, she pushed her fingers into his hair, holding her face close to his. "How can you want her to be part of your family?"

"How could I not? Kahlan, she can be ours, if you will allow me to be a part of her life."

"You don't have to-"

"I know that I don't have to, Kahlan. I want to. I want to be a part of this with you, both of you and I promise that I will do my best to protect her; to protect you." He stared into her eyes as though she was able to read him and he wished that she could. "I won't let anything happen to either of you and I promise that until my last breath, I will love you both."

Kahlan brought her right hand back to his face and gently traced over his eyes, nose and lips. He had changed since she first saw him and even more so since she last saw his face. He had tears in the corner of his eyes and down his cheeks, but she couldn't remember his voice giving them away. That would have been what he wanted, she told herself. He was always wanting to protect her, from everything. He remained still and let her hand move over him, understanding the need. This was the only way she could see and he wanted her to see him.

Her index finger circled his mouth, a small smile holding firm as she continued, telling her more than she needed to know. Tilting her head, she held her thumb by the corner of his mouth, a guide as she inched forward. When she connected their lips, he returned the kiss in full, needing her to feel what he held within him. Gliding her hand back into his hair, Kahlan held herself to him. She knew he was strong, but the way that he held her, the strength of his embrace, a shelter made of rocks to shield the rain, she felt as though nothing could harm her, not while she was with him.

Breaking their kiss, the Mother Confessor pulled back jut enough to rest her forehead against his and share his next few breaths. "I don't want anyone else to know," she whispered almost shamefully.

Nodding, he tried not to chuckle. "They're going to notice someday."

"I know, but as long as someday isn't tomorrow."

He could feel her body trembling, afraid of what would happen. "We will tell them she is mine."

Her head snapped up instantly, her eyes perfectly aligned with his as though she could see him. "What? Richard, no, I cannot ask you-"

"You didn't ask and I want her to be. In my heart, our hearts, she is mine and that is all that matters. We will tell them that I am her father."

"Richard-"

"But I don't want to lie to her. When she is old enough to understand, I would like to tell her." He smiled and brought her fingers to his mouth to feel it. "I want her to know that is possible for someone to love her freely, just as I do her mother."

With a small smile of her own, she tilted her head, the way she used to when she would tease him. "I think you are the only man to exist to feel that way."

He pushed his nose against hers for a moment and beamed. "If anyone took a moment to know you, they would love you, too."

"No, just you." Grazing her lips against his, she lingered against the softness, the comfort.

"If you keep doing that-"

"I know," she whispered breathlessly, her body slowly beginning to rock against his. Bringing herself to still, Kahlan took in a slow breath. He could tell she was going to say something important, he could see it in her every move. Her hands had found his shoulders and her breathing had slowed, the vein in her neck slightly pulsing with her heart. "You can change your mind," she told him through a whisper. "If you wanted to take it back, I would understand."

Richard moved quickly, laying her back against the bed and pushing down against her while his face lowered to her stomach. "I'm not going to take it back. I will never change my mind." With a smile on his face, he nudged his nose against the tiny swell of her belly. "Do you hear that? You're mine and I love you." He kissed over her for a moment and then brought his face to hers. With his forehead and nose touching hers, he rocked forward. "I love you."

"What's wrong?"

Shaking her head, Kahlan forced a smile. "Nothing, I was just thinking."

"About what?" Richard asked as he sat up and pushed his back against the wall of their carriage, matching her position.

"Everything."

"Everything?" he questioned with a smile, nudging his shoulder against hers. "The work of the Mother Confessor is never done, is it?"

"Not when her people are suffering," she commented, missing his playful tone. "How could I not have seen it?"

"You were being held captive."

"It started earlier. Dean explained it to me and I- I don't understand how I could have allowed it to happen. They have no right to do what they have done and now they wish me dead."

"What are you going to do?"

"I can't confess them," she whispered almost painfully. "That is the appropriate punishment for their crimes, but I am unable to- I'm afraid of how it would be if I was to lock them in prison. They are powerful themselves," she added, knowing the question he was about to ask. "They do not overrule me, but they will be almost impossible to replace without thought, study and my magic. I don't know who I can trust. I don't know if they all wish me to die or if a small handful are behind this. No deed can happen without their knowledge, leaving me to believe that it's become far worse that I could ever imagine."

Turning her head toward them, she frowned. "If they hired one man to kill me, they will hire another, more and I'm not sure Aydindril will be safe for us."

"I'll protect you," he told her instantly.

"Of that, I have no doubt. Richard, if they wanted to hurt me, all they would need is you. I know you will protect me, you would die for me, but I cannot let you."

"You can't stop me either."

"That's where I have been thinking." She smiled, almost seeing the confusion on his face. She wished she could see the way his eyebrows were scrunched together, his head tilting and mouth partly open. It was an expression she rather enjoyed. "There will be someone waiting for us when we reach the palace, but before you kill him-"

"No," Richard stated promptly. "No. Kahlan, if I hesitate at all, you could be lost. I will not pause to give the man a chance to hurt you."

"I know. I'm sorry, I don't think I'm explaining this correctly." She turned her head away and closed her eyes, leaning her head back against the wall. "What if I sent you in first? You and a few of our men could ride in, take care of the assassin or assassins and then round up the council. They will not see the action in advance, it may be the only way to win."

"Your plan leaves you with less protection."

"It may have a few more details to be worked out."

"If it's alright," he said quietly, his arm circling her shoulders. "I would like to try my plan."

"You have a plan?"

"I'm going to kill anyone who tries to hurt you."

"That's not a plan, Richard. That-"

"Is going to keep you safe. Trust me, I will protect you this time."

Laying her head against him, she sighed. "You've always protected me."


	11. Chapter 11

The council had been collected swiftly, the Seeker accepting part of the Mother Confessor's plan. She, however, was always at his side, despite his continue plea to hide. Their enemy was locked away in the dungeons before most of them could form a thought, the other laughing at the thought of her punishing them. The sun was gone, leaving the cells cold as the couple stood outside the locks, one staring out at the prisoners as though they were luckier than they imagined. Kahlan held her shoulders back and her head high, listening to their whispers and to her advantage, they sounded as loud as the anger radiating off of the man at her side.

They questioned each other, trying to find out who had revealed their plan. After a few moment, Kahlan reached for Richard's hand and squeezed, tightly. He looked over to her instantly, fear filling him as he saw her face.

"Your plan," she said in a normal voice, making sure the others would hear. "I was a fool to believe it wasn't necessary. Since I am unable to punish them as it should be, their lives are yours." Releasing his hand, she took a single step back and waited.

He didn't hesitate to draw his sword, knowing that she would not have said what she did lightly. She had a reason and he trusted her. Two were dead before the cell door was unlocked, the Sword of Truth ringing as it slid into their bodies through the bars. The council members screamed in horror before shouting for forgiveness, their words fell upon deaf ears. She gave no sign of hearing anything until the last body fell to the ground and stopped breathing.

"We must warn the men," she said as he returned to her side. "They are walking into a trap and in a few hours, we will be visited by the best assassins in all of the lands." She reached for his hand again, stopping him from hurrying them away. Her head lowered in sadness as she took a few steps forward. "I'm sorry it came to this," she said to the fallen bodies. "May the Spirits look upon you with their own justice."

"It was too easy," Richard stated as he and Dean burned the last of the food. "They didn't put up a fight and I know that I didn't know them very well, but wouldn't they have tried harder? If they wanted her dead, there are far easier and effective ways to do it. I don't- This can't be the end of it. It wasn't just her life they cared to destroy, I think they would have had some other plan."

"Such as?"

"I don't know, but they can't have thought it would be easy. They had to know that we wouldn't sit back and let them kill her."

"Maybe that's exactly what they thought. If they wanted to harm the Mother Confessor, they may have had help. We will never find them without her sight and magic. She must see it."

"We don't know when or if she will get her sight back." Turning, Richard began walking toward the kitchen door. "I'm going to find the key to the Rada'Han."

"May I suggest something?"

"What is it?"

"Take the Mother Confessor with you. She is safest at your side and she may have something to say to her before you kill her."

"I- Maybe this isn't the right thing to do. My being there will not loosen her tongue, it is sure to seal her mouth closed." Pulling on his hand, she tried to slow their pace and reason with him. "Richard, please. If you want her to do what you wish, do not allow her to see me. I will be safe around the corner of her cell."

"Wh-"

"I took her husband, the man she loved and- Richard, he's dead. She is never going to have him back again and I- I am the reason. She will be of no help to you if she sees me."

"Or maybe it's just what she needs to cooperate."

"If it was me in there," she said softly. "If I was there and someone told me you were dead, I would die with any information they wanted. Trust me on this, please."

Squeezing her hand, he nodded. "Alright, but if anyone comes near you-"

"I'll cry out defenseless," she joked surprisingly.

"Kahlan-"

"I'll make sure you get to me before they do."

"I don't like-"

"It's the only way this will work. She will give you what you want, we both know that she will not be able to resist your... Persuasion."

"Come on," he said softly, pulling her arm around his. "We need the key now."

The dungeon was colder than she remembered and the sound of his boots walking away was so loud she would have thought he was walking in place at her side. Her back jerked straight as Jessica screamed in the distance, Richard now doing what he needed to in order to learn where she hid the key. It was hard on him, she knew, but he wouldn't have it any other way. When it came to her, he would do anything. She only wished it had never come to this.

Time blurred together as the screaming continued and after what seemed to be eternity, it grew silent. Swallowing, she turned and waited. He would be beside her once again, any moment.

"She's buried it beneath the tree she married her husband." His hand found hers and he pulled her close, almost hugging her with his other arm as they took a few steps. His hand was wet, covered in the other woman's blood, making her cringe at the thought of what he may have done. Her thoughts came to a stop as he pulled her still. "There's someone outside."

"I don't hear anything," she whispered as she inched closer to him.

"I can see their shadow," he replied just as soft. "Hold onto the back of my shirt and no matter what happens, do not let go."

"This is silly," she told him, her hands instantly finding the back of his shirt and gripping the fabric tight. "I can stay in here-"

"I'm not letting you from my reach. Come on; stay close."

She couldn't help but smile at his last comment. He must've known that she would have stayed within her own arms reach of him, her hands gripping his shirt while she staggered behind. He knew her and in this moment she was grateful. The ringing of the Sword of Truth echoed as it was pulled free. One step, silence. Two steps, silence. Three steps - an earth shattering cry filled the air around them. She found it difficult to imagine the battle that went on around her. There seem to be more than one man attacking. Richard spun in every direction, grunting, growling; fighting. It was hard to remain behind him, his movements were so quick and swift that she feared she would lose hold and become lost.

Kahlan remained silent as she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to envision his next move. For a few moments, they were able to move as one. She could feel his next movement somehow leaving his mind and falling to the tips of her fingers as she gripped his shirt. He was strong; fully capable of protecting her. Richard suddenly began to inch backward to put himself between her and the enemy. She couldn't tell how many there were left, but from the way he moved and panted, she knew they were in trouble.

"When I tell you to, I need you to grab your knife from my waistband. There are eleven of them left, do you hear me? I don't know how much longer I can- You are three steps in front of a tree; when I tell you to, step against it and kill anyone who tries to come near you."

"Richard," she said in a voice that was surprisingly calm. "It's alright." Tightening her hold on his shirt, she sighed. "I understand."

Turning his head, he hoped to meet her eyes. "I love you, Kahlan."

Giving a quick smile, she nodded. "I love you, too."

He gave the word and she moved quickly. Grabbing the dagger, she threw herself backward against the tree. Waiting, listening; praying. The first set of hands that touched her were removed almost as swift, the blood spattering upon her with triumph. She could hear Richard before her, fighting a battle she couldn't see and from the sounds, she was almost grateful. He was hurt, a fact that she knew not only from the way that he breathed, but the slowing of his footsteps. The sound of his sword no longer rang with full power, his strength fading and her heart breaking.

One body fell to the ground, then another and then another. She lost count rather quickly, but as long as they remain falling she didn't care. As long as another man went down Richard was still alive. The Seeker cried out in agony, a sound that echoed in her mind for what seemed to be a lifetime and, with her next breath, the world went silent.

She remained still, her back pushed against the bark of the tree so hard, it was painful. Kahlan turned her head, hoping to hear something, anything that would tell her what had happened and if the man she loved was still alive.

"Richard?" she whispered into the passing wind. When there was no reply, her jaw locked in fear and she leaned forward. Her hands felt over the ground, moving past the three men she had killed to move forward. After struggling over a few men, she called out his name again and waited. His cough made her jump, her speed quickening as she rushed in the direction the sound came from. He was laying on the ground and the instant her hands touched him, she pulled them back with a silent cry. He was bleeding, his chest covered in blood and when her fingers came to caress his face, she found that it, too, had been attacked by a sword. "Zedd!" She cried out frantically, doing her best to return her hands to his chest to stop any part of the bleeding she could. "Someone! Anyone!" she continued to shout, praying that someone would come to their aid.

"You-afe-ow," he told her though a cough that splattered blood upon her face.

Nodding, she tried to smile, needing him to see her happy if this was his final set of moments. "Because of you," she whispered, tears falling down her cheeks. "I'm safe because of you." She wanted to thank him, but she was afraid that it would mean she was giving up and she refused to. "Someone is going to come help you," she added after a brief second, her head turning in the hopes of hearing someone. "Zedd!"

"Wa-Ame-Her."

Her shoulders fell forward in sadness, his words meaning that he believed it was over. "I don't know. What do you want to name her?" He remained silent, though she wasn't sure if it was because it took too much of his strength to speak. "I could name her after you," she offered, knowing that he would, at least, smile. "Amanda."

"Utaful."

Kahlan had to choke back her tears, her head turning away so he wouldn't see as she nodded. "You're going to be fine. Someone is coming and you're going to... Someone is going to help you."

His hand came to hers, his fingers wrapping around her wrist. "Old-oo"

It took all of her strength to keep from throwing herself onto him. Resting her head on his shoulder, she held herself close to him and closed her eyes to the slowing beat of his heart.

Kahlan hadn't slept in two days, her hand remaining in his as the wizard worked over him. The older man described the wounds to her in detail, knowing that she would want it know either way. The Seeker had a cut that went from the right side of his chin and across his face, just missing his left eye as it went over his forehead and into his hairline, the skin now scared. His chest and body, matched his face, cut up and battered, a sight she was almost glad she couldn't see. She listened to his breathing carefully, waiting for it to quicken or change to tell her when he awoke.

"Zedd says the worst is over," she told him as she leaned forward in her chair that sat beside the bed. She liked to be close to him, but when she layed beside him in the bed, she feared she would hurt him even more. "It started snowing today, I think you would have liked to see it. It was always my favorite thing about this place, the beauty of it when the snow began go cover everything. I wish we could have seen it together and maybe I could I- When you wake up, I'm going to show you my favorite place here. My sister is the only one I've shown it to, but I've always wanted you to see it." Closing her eyes, she lifted his hand and laid her forehead against it. "I don't know what to do, Richard. I- I need you to wake up, I need you to say something, anything. I feel like I may go mad if I don't hear your voice again. I keep expecting you to sit beside me and take me in your arms... Comfort me. I've never known anyone like you before. No one has ever- Having you near, it's more comforting than anything I've experienced."

"I know you can hear me and I- I wish I had something more to say, something that mattered. You must be bored," she told him quietly. "I know you're strong enough to survive this, Richard and I- I need you to know it, too." Releasing a heavy sigh, she shifted in her chair. "I don't know what to say to wake you up. You cannot give up, do you understand me? If you give up, I'm never going to forgive you. I'm- I can't do this without you, Richard. I can't- I don't want to do it without you." Letting go of his hand, she pushed her back against the inside of the chair and pulled her knees up to her chest. "I know that you meant what you said, about me being a good mother, but I- I'm so afraid. Richard, what am I to do if I wake up one morning and because you weren't here, she's exactly like him. Richard, she needs you just as much as I do, maybe even more. I can't imagine anyone else being a better father to her. No one can teach her the way you can, you- You'll give her part of your heart and she will never- With you around, she will be just like you and our people, Richard, they won't fear her the way they have everyone of us before." With a small smile, she licked her lips. "Maybe one day, they can look at us the way you do. It's getting late, you- You're already asleep. If you wake up... I'm right here."

"You need to get some sleep, dear one."

"I'm fine," Kahlan replied as the wizard stepped beside her chair. "I don't want to be a sleep when he wakes up."

"He'd wake you," he told her quickly. "Here, sit back, I'll take care of him for a minute."

Doing as he requested, she closed her eyes and took in a slow, deep breath. "How is he?"

"He's breathing deeper, that's a good sign."

"I noticed, but he didn't- He used to snore... I miss it."

The older man chuckled, "Give him time."

"Can I tell you something?"

Zedd froze at the tone of her voice, the whisper in fear of a secret being revealed. "What is it?"

"I keep thinking- I'm pregnant." She didn't move as he came closer, abandoning whatever he was doing with his grandson. "What- I'm... I remember waking up in that place and I felt her within me. I was pregnant before he raped me." With tears collecting in her eyes, she turned her head away, hoping to hide them in any way. "I don't know what happened or when I stopped feeling her, but I- Zedd, when I told him I was with child, he- He seemed happy about it and I... I wanted so badly to tell him that she was his, but she can't be, can she? If I didn't feel her for weeks, I- I know that my mind is probably playing tricks on me and that maybe I never felt her at all and maybe I just wanted to hold a piece of him with me. I don't know, I don't even know why I am telling you this."

"You were injured, Kahlan," he told her softly. "An unborn child is not always as strong as they need to be."

Nodding, she blinked out more tears. "Is it wrong to mourn someone I've never known?"

"No, but are you sure she is to be mourned?"

"I don't know. I feel the child within me and she will be seen soon, but I... I didn't feel her until Richard found me."

Laying his hand over hers, he smiled. "Maybe she sensed her father was near."

"And every day before that?"

"She rested to give you more strength."

Leaning forward, she licked her lips. "I wish I could believe that."

"What did Richard tell you?"

Shaking her head, she sighed. "He sees it all differently than I do, than I could. He- I told him that I wouldn't hold him to us, but he... Zedd, he sounded so excited and I know that I shouldn't have let him- I want that life he talks about, Zedd."

"And now you have a chance to have it."

"At what cost? Look at him, Zedd. I did this to him. I- I am the reason he is hurt."

"No."

She jumped at the sound of his voice and then froze, afraid of how much he had heard her say. She wanted to jump into his arms, but she couldn't see him, she couldn't know what he wanted.

The wizard stood quietly and leaned toward her. "He's reaching out for you." Taking hold of her arm, he pulled it forward until it rested in the Seeker's tight grasp.

When the couple was alone, Richard pulled on her hand. "Come here."

"I can't," she whispered painfully.

"I need you, Kahlan."

Shaking her head, she tried not to cry, not until she knew if it was from sadness or happiness. "You did fine without-"

"I could hear you," he interrupted. "I heard everything you said. Everything." Pulling on her hand again, he tried to hide the pain that shot through his chest at the action. "Please lay with me."

"I'll hurt you."

"Only if you stay over there."

Kahlan sighed and leaned forward, dropping to her knees and resting her arms on the bed beside him. "I'm sorry, Richard."

He coughed through his laugh, his finger tightening around hers. "This isn't your fault, Kahlan."

"It was me they wanted to kill."

"But they didn't." Closing his eyes, he turned his head toward the ceiling. "It's cold with you so far away." As he knew she would, she moved onto the bed and pressed herself against him, using herself as an extra blanket to help warm him. "Thank you," he whispered, hoping she wouldn't pull away. He felt her tears and tightened his hold on her, doing his best to keep the pain to himself. "Don't cry, Kahlan. This isn't your fault."

"Zedd said the scars will-"

"I don't care about the scars, Kahlan. I can live with those, but I- Kahlan, did they- Did I get them all?"

"No one else came after it went quiet. You killed them all. You saved me."

"I was afraid I would die before you were safe."

"I'm always safe with you. It's you who-"

"I'm safe, too. I'm still alive, aren't I? You protected me."

"No-"

Shifting beneath her, he tried to get his chest to touch hers. "How's Amanda?"

"Richard-"

"She's mine, Kahlan. No matter when you felt her." He was surprised his voice came out almost as clear as before. It shook, but just slightly and not enough to have her head jerk up from him in concern. "She is ours." After a moment of silence, he used most of his strength to roll onto his side and bring her hand to his face. He could feel it, but he needed to know. "How bad is it?"

Swallowing, she traced the scar across his face, doing her best to hide the pain it brought her. "It's healing."

"Kahlan-"

"It feels painful," she whispered before licking her lips for a distraction. "I don't know what it looks like, but I know it hurts, I can feel it."

"It feels better when you touch it." His words were whispered and his eyes closed to take in the softness of her fingers. "Comforting. It's like the way you held me in the clearing."

"You were awake?"

"I- I don't know, but I could feel my head in your lap and your fingers in my hair. I knew that I would be alright."

"You nearly died."

With a small smile on his lips, he watched her continue to run her fingers over the scar, her face showing every emotion she felt. "I held on for you."

"I was so afraid, but every moment I thought about- When I thought someone would come out of the trees for me, I knew that somehow you would jump up as though nothing had happened and kill them."

"You have a lot of faith in me."

"I know you too well, not to. You've never failed me and as long as I was near you, I was safe."

"How many were there?"

"Dean says you killed twenty-two of them."

"Was that all there was?" he questioned softly.

Nodding, she returned her head to his shoulder and sighed. "Would you have rather fought an entire army?"

"I'd fight the world to keep you safe."

"You already have," she told him through a whisper. "Time and time again."

He smiled, she knew he would and rubbed his hand over her arm. "Always."

"Do you want me to get Zedd? He may be able to help with any pain-"

"I'm fine," he said instantly. "It's not as painful with you here."

Grinning, she nudged closer. "Are you sure? You-"

"Will be fine until we wake up in the morning."

"It's just past morning."

"And you haven't slept in days," he told her. "We'll sleep through until morning."

"Richard-"

"If I need anything, I'll wake you."

"You'd better."

"Are you warm?" Richard asked as he poked at the fire in their bedroom.

"I am."

They remained in the confinement of their room for two days, Richard not yet able to move without pain. He continued to hold onto her, nearly at all times, but now that her Rada'Han was gone, she wouldn't allow him to do any of the things in his mind. He would hover over her with all of his strength, his lips touching hers as he moved his hands over her in a small attempt to show her how beautiful she was. Her stomach had grown with the child within, but it only made him more attracted to her. She glowed and smiled in a way he had always wished she would and he wished that she was able to see the way he looked at her.

"How do you feel?"

"Like I'm going to rip though this dress," she mumbled, her hands moving over her stomach.

With a grin, he walked over to her and knelt down, laying his own hands on her stomach. "If you wanted to remove it, I wouldn't complain." Blinking, she shifted on the edge of the bed and shook her head. He knew she didn't feel beautiful, though she was the kind of woman who never thought about things like that. "Would you like to sit beside the fire for a little while?"

"You don't have to sit in here, Richard. You can go-"

"I like it in here. You're here."

"You said that yesterday."

"It's still true today and it will be tomorrow. Kahlan, I know that you're frustrated and that you are afraid, but I-"

Bringing her hand to his face, she traced her thumb over the part of the scar that touched his chin. "If I leave this room, you may not walk away with a few scars."

"Kahlan-"

"I can't see. I'm useless out there and I am terrified that I won't know danger is coming and I will lose you. I can't go out there, but you can. You can-"

"No, I can't," he told her with the shake of his head. "I don't want people to see me like this."

"There's nothing-"

"Zedd looks at me the way I know they will. You don't."

"I can't see," she countered softly.

Smiling a small smile, he inched forward and brought his own hand to her cheek. "That doesn't matter. You look at me every time you touch me and I- You look at me the same way I look at you."

"Like you've done something wrong?"

"Like you love me more than you can say."

Nodding her head, she leaned forward until her forehead touched his. "I do."

"Me too."

Releasing a soft chuckle, she pushed into him. "You love yourself more than you can say."

"Of course," he teased. "But it does not compare to the way I feel about you."

"Mmhmm. I am going to need proof, Seeker."

The growl that escaped his throat made her body lunge against his and knock them to the floor, both letting out a soft laugh before their lips connected and they were lost in passion, his shirt pulled off before he could breathe.

Kahlan surrendered quicker than usual, her need matching her desire in a way that made it impossible to ignore. His mouth left hers, trailing down her neck to her chest, his current favorite place to explore since she couldn't allow him to do the same to her stomach. She held him to her, her fingers wrapped in his hair as she pushed into his lips with a moan. He didn't waste any time gaining access to her skin, ripping the front of her nightgown as though is was a held by no more than a single stitch. He watched her as his tongue snaked across her skin, her response holding more pleasure than he could imagine.

"Richard," she panted, her body aching for more. Her hand left his head and motioned to her dresser, telling him what she wanted.

The Rada'Han had been placed in the top drawer, held safe until this very moment, the same moment that had taken place the night before and the one before. This as the moment it always came to a stop, Richard not wanting her to place the metal around her neck once again. From the way she was breathing, he knew she was struggling with her magic, fighting its release and any moment she would push him from her and he would watch as it broke free.

It was beautiful, just as it had been before. It took all of his strength not to reach out for her, not to grab her hand or wrap his arms around her and hold her close, telling her that it would all be alright and that he was hers. She would kill herself before allowing him to live a moment with her magic in his veins and though he wished for it, he never acted. When her body settled on the floor, he closed the distance between them returned his lips to her neck, gently caressing the soft skin while his right hand moved over her stomach.

"I'm sorry, Richard."

Nudging his nose against her, he smiled. "I'm not." With another kiss, he brought himself back above her and gently pushed forward so that his chest touched hers. "I won't let you wear it," he whispered through a breath. "You know that."

Kahlan shook her head and brought her hands to his face. "We can't do this without it."

"We did before."

"And I nearly destroyed you," she countered within a moment. "I can't lose you, Richard."

"You won't." Letting out a heavy sigh, he moved back to her side. "You will never let go of your magic, Kahlan. You will never lose me."

"I'm sorry."

"No, you're not and it's alright. Kahlan, we don't-"

"Don't say it," she told him. "We can't live like this, it will ruin everything."

"No it won't. Kahlan, we both know that this is enough and though we want more, we-"

"I need more," she replied shamefully hating herself for saying it out loud.

"I will give you anything you need."

"Not without becoming lost."

"I am never lost when I'm with you."

Lowering her hands, she turned her head away from him, knowing that it would bring him to move off of her and he did. "Part of me wishes that I could look past it the way you do," she said as she sat up and pulled the front of her night gown together in a failed attempt to hide herself from his eyes. "I can't keep myself from imagining what would happen to you. Everything that you are, the person who- Everything will be destroyed and replaced with a false love."

"Is it false if I loved you before your magic ran through me?"

His word choice made her body ache even more. He didn't say claimed or a word that would make someone believe that for a minute it was a terrible thing. To him, her magic was nothing more than a part of her that he wished to know and she didn't think it was possible to understand. They had grown up differently and she, along with every living thing in the Midlands, had been trained to fear the magic. It had been a piece of herself she thought she had made peace with, but being with him, being so close, she realized that she had never hated herself more. Richard, however, no matter what her magic showed him, he never ran away in fear, he came closer.

"It wouldn't be the same," she told him while struggling to come to her feet. "When someone has no choice but to love you- When a man is confessed, the way they feel about her... They are forced to love her and without end." She walked across the room slowly, he knew because she wasn't entirely sure of her way around. "There was no chance for him to love someone else, for him to have something more. I don't want to take away your choices, your thoughts and everything that makes you, you. I cannot destroy the man who thinks of others before himself and I- I cannot destroy the only person I have ever loved." Tears were falling down her cheeks in silence, her voice remaining strong as she turned her head toward his direction, the Seeker having remained still. "I may fear the moment you love someone else, but I will not destroy you to keep you with me."

"I will never love anyone else, Kahlan."

"Not if I take away your choice."

He smiled, though he knew there was nothing to be happy about. She would never agree with him, never believe that anyone could love her the way he did, but it only made him love her more. She wasn't able to see herself the way he did, the way he knew the world would if they looked past what they were taught. He had been with women before and out of each one he met, she was far above and not because of her standing. The woman before him was higher than the rest for everything about her, from her heart's caring for not only her people, but the world and her ability to look beyond the front to see more and face her fears. Kahlan was the woman who can have everything and yet, wants nothing. She cared more about others than herself and would die to protect them, even from herself. Before he knew it, he had walked to her side and gently took hold of her hand.

"I chose you. I did yesterday and again today, tomorrow will be no different." He was about to continue when he heard his own words echo back to him, almost explaining what she had meant. "My choice has been made and it's you."

"I'm afraid that someone else can make you happier then I can."

"Your love is hard to compete with," he said gently, his hand tightening on hers. "Being loved by someone you love is all that's needed. I'm yours."

Blinking out a set of tears, she wound herself in his arms and closed her eyes. He was warm and his body still ready for hers, a part of her couldn't imagine the strength he used to hold back when she needed him to. "And I'm yours."


	12. Chapter 12

He awoke to her trying to change her dress, her hands roaming over the outside of the wardrobe before missing a piece and falling into it. Jumping out of the bed, Richard ran to her side just as she began to laugh, it was a sound he feared he wouldn't hear again.

"I'm sorry," she said as he lifted her from the floor. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"Are you alright?"

"Yes," she chuckled. "I was trying to find something to wear." Sensing his next question, she shrugged. "I can't go out there in this."

He nearly jumped, but tried to hide his excitement. "Where are we going?"

"There's a place I want to show you." The smile left her lips for a moment and he knew what she was thinking. She had hoped that she would be able to see when she took him there, but it wasn't the case. "You should get dressed. We will be going through the city."

"The city?" he questioned with a grin. "What shall I wear?"

Her own smile returned as she shook her head, her elbow finding its way to his stomach. "Anything you wear will do. It's I who has to find something that will fit."

"They'll fit," he told her as he brought her hand to a specific dress. "Especially this one."

Her fingers moved over the fabric as he moved away, giving her room to explore the new item. "I don't remember having a dress like this."

"You didn't," he replied. "I bought it for you a few months ago, before we... I wanted to give you something, but nothing seemed worthy and then I saw that fabric in town. I didn't know what to ask for, but the dressmaker swore that it would fit you until after you gave birth."

Grinning, she turned her head over her should to give him a glimpse of her smile. "What color is it?"

"Orange," he teased through a chuckle. "I wanted to be sure you were seen."

"It's blue, isn't it?" she asked in a voice that held the smile on his lips as he watched her pull it free of the wardrobe and bring it to her chest. "You're not going to tell me, are you?"

"It is blue," he managed to say as she allowed her torn nightgown to fall to the floor. "It's almost the shade of your eyes, maybe the closest I've ever seen."

Keeping the fabric to her chest, she turned to face him. "Thank you."

Beaming, the Seeker took a step forward. "Do you want me to help you?"

"Yes, please."

"This is where I took Dennee when we were children. I found it once, when I was hiding from my father. It was around this time of year, the snow made it beautiful. I think I stayed out here longer than ever before, I almost forgot about everything else."

They were on a smaller mountain ledge, hidden and sheltered in a cave that looked out over the city, the Confessor's Palace in the distance. The land houses were covered in snow and she was right, it was beautiful. It still danced white in the air, a cool breeze floating by until he had her in his arms and inched them backward. It was bright around them, he had to squint to see everything, knowing there was more to view.

"It's beautiful, Kahlan."

Leaning against his chest, she swayed with him, laying her hands over his, resting on top of her growing belly. "Being here made me feel like everything would be alright when I returned."

"Was it?"

"For a little while," she whispered in reply. "We were able to spend some days away from him, hiding out in the forest, playing games we didn't know the rules to. We sat up here a few times, watching the children pay in the distance, laughing as their parents chased them through the trees. She would tell me how much she wanted that life and I always wished I could say that she would."

Tightening his arms around her, Richard held her close. "She may not have had the chance for it, but you do and you can live it for her."

Smiling, she turned her head, for a moment expecting to look at him. "It feels strange to have the option."

"It won't be for long," he grinned back. "You're going to watch me chase our daughters into your arms before tucking them into their beds."

"They'll never go willingly."

"Ah," he said quickly. "The trick is to love them so much during the day that when night comes, they'll be too tired to resist."

Kahlan laughed, her body shaking in his arms. "I suppose that could work."

"It will; you'll see."

"I look forward to it."

Fighting his own mouth, he spoke before he could stop himself. "How many children did you imagine having?"

"I don't know," she replied honestly. "I think I may have been the only Confessor who didn't let her mind linger on it. I had Dennee and then I began to think I wouldn't live long enough to have any."

"And now?" He questioned through a whisper in her ear. "How many?"

Gripping his hands in hers, she smiled. "As many as possible."

"Good answer."

Releasing a sigh, she turned her head back toward the view she couldn't see. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"On the way up here, you helped me without- You didn't make me feel weak for needing your help climbing up here."

"You didn't need my help very much," he told her quickly. "You're not weak, Kahlan. You're the strongest person I know."

"You had to catch me four times."

"The rocks weren't sturdy."

"They're rocks."

"Terrible ones," he told her rapidly.

Shaking her head, she returned her mind to their previous conversation. "How many children did you imagine?"

"A few, seven, maybe."

"Seven?"

"Or more," he chuckled. "I don't know, I always wanted to surround myself with the people I loved. The more I thought of, the better it felt."

"I can understand that," she said. "It's nice to be around people you love."

They stood in silence for a few minutes, Richard staring out as the snow continued to fall, while Kahlan held her eyes closed and enjoyed the feel of his embrace. They were wrapped together by a blanket, an object she was sure to bring, hoping it would keep them warm enough to remain for a while. It helped, but she knew he was thinking about building them a fire. He wouldn't want her to be cold, but as long as he held her tightly, she could only feel the light breeze on her face.

"You should sit down," he commented as she shifted her weight. "We should rest for a little while," he added before she could say anything, using the term 'we' to keep her from feeling like she wasn't as strong as she used to be.

He eased them both down together, spreading his legs so that she could remain close and his chest could keep close to her back. He moved the blanket to cover her front, knowing she would feel more of the cold being before him. She didn't complain, only held his arms tighter around her. She seemed comfortable here, in a different way than in the palace and he couldn't help but wonder if it was because it was here, she had been allowed to be full herself and not only a Confessor.

"Has the sun reached the treetops yet?" she asked in a tone that told him it was important.

"Not yet, almost."

"It's beautiful," she told him whimsically. "The land almost sparkles as it hits the snow perfectly." A part of her expected him to say something about them not staying there very long and about how difficult it would be going back in the dark, but he didn't. "I always waited for that moment and then raced home."

"Did anyone ever find you up here?"

Shaking her head, she grinned. "No. This was my secret. I don't think anyone has come up this way in years. Darken Rahl had most people afraid to go far from their homes."

"Thank you for bringing me here; for sharing your place with m..." It's words trailed off into silence and she knew why. The sun had just reached the treetops.

As she had told him, the land sparkled, a view more beautiful than he imagined. He could almost see her as a young girl, gazing out upon the sight and feeling as though it would be alright. He felt it too. It seemed magical to him, like a piece of herself that she didn't want to protect him from and he couldn't help but feel honored that she was sharing it with him. This, he thought, was part of the magic within her, that was why it was breathtakingly beautiful.

"As the sun hides, take a deep breath, you can smell the heated trees in the wind." Smiling, Kahlan turned her head toward him. "It smells like you."

He kissed her instantly, unable to hold back as his mind rushed through the thought that the spirits had sent her his scent, proving that they had been created to fall in love. Their kiss was long and deep, but as though she knew when to part, the moment he sucked in a breath, he smelt it.

"I love you, Kahlan."

Relaxing once again in his arms, she closed her eyes and grinned. "I love you, too."

They worked together to return to the city, the spirits gracing them with a brighter moon, so that he was able to foresee any part of their journey that may be hazardous to her. When they reached the trail through the trees, she was breathing a little heavier, but she didn't slow down. They held hands as they walked, both remaining close to keep not only keep warm, but to keep the connection between them just as strong. She told him about the injured doe she saw as a child when she was sneaking back home. It didn't surprise him that she had been kind and half carried it to one of the healers. It was something he could imagine easily, knowing that she wasn't the type of person who would let anyone or anything suffer, even for a moment. His mind raced to what he had done to Thomas and the reaction he had pulled from her, it still pained him. He had helped those men capture and beat her, but she could look past it to the moments of comfort he had brought her. That, almost more than anything, was hard for him.

He wanted to be the man who had tended to her wounds and encouraged her to stay alive and fighting for her when it was needed. It was always needed, the told himself. She is important and kind, there will always be someone who wants to destroy her and take what she has.

"Are you alright?" she asked in the midst of their new silence.

Nodding, he released her hand and moved closer, hooking his arm around her waist. "I'm fine, I was just thinking."

"What about?"

"You," he said quietly. "Have you ever thought about joining Aydindril with D'Hara?"

She nearly laughed at the thought. "Somehow, I don't think Darken Rahl would have found the idea pleasing."

"What if I did?"

"What are you talking about?"

Coming to a stop he sighed and took a step away from her. "I'm a Rahl. I can give you-"

"No," she stated instantly, continuing to walk.

Following behind her he threw up his hands. "Why not? Kahlan, I can give your land peace. We can create the world you've always wanted and stop wars from tearing people apart."

Turning rapidly, she pushed her right hand against his chest and stopped his movement. "If we did what you are suggesting, you will become the new Lord Rahl."

"I know."

"You have never wanted that kind of life."

"Kahlan-"

"Everything you have ever known will be different."

Taking her hand, he sighed. "That's not what this is about, is it?" he asked, already knowing the answer. "You're afraid that I will be different."

He watched her face go through a series of emotions. Shock, confusion and sadness, ending with a face he had come to know well, that unreadable face of a Confessor. "I am afraid of everything." Turning in silence, she blinked out a quick set of tears, wiping her face at once to hide them.

"Please don't walk away."

"It's all I can do," she said over her shoulder. "You already made up your mind."

"Kahlan, please stop." When she stilled, he made his way to her side and grabbed her hand. "I'm sorry."

"You never wanted this life, Richard. I- I don't want to be the reason you're unhappy." Before he could speak, she continued without breath. "You once told me that you imagined yourself growing old with someone in the comfort of the home you built in the trees. You wanted a simple life where nothing could come between you and those you loved, not this."

"Come on," he said to her gently, pulling on her hand. She would follow him back to the palace without hesitation and he knew it, but if he let go of her hand, what he planned would never come to be.

They walked through the city in silence, though the people spoke enough for the both of them. They whispered, louder than intended, because Kahlan was able to hear most of what they said. From their words, she was able to see more of it all, from the redness of the Seeker's eyes to the way the scar on his face shined in the moonlight. They whispered about the way he walked, proudly holding her hand with his head held high and a few could see the Rahl blood at work in him. A set of their words lingered around her as they continued on, the people saying that it was only a matter of time before they got themselves killed for the other.

When they returned to her bedroom, Richard continued to hold onto her hand, keeping her close, slowing their walk as he lead her to the wash room that was attached to her room. She went without hesitation, her mind spinning over what she had heard and wondering if he had heard any of it, too. She wondered if it affected him at all to hear them gasp at the sight of him, the scar stealing their attention. Without pausing, she pulled on his hand until he stopped and turned, the sound of his feet telling her what was happening. Reaching up, she grabbed his face and pulled him close, sliding her tongue over the bottom of his chin and gliding over his jaw, finding the scared skin and sucking it briefly into her mouth.

His reaction answered her mind's question and instantly, he melted into her. With his body going limp, he allowed her to trace the scar with her lips, kissing and nipping her way across his face. When she reached his hairline, she retraced her steps until he tilted his head to connect their lips. The kiss was filled with fire, both clinging to the other as though it was the last minute of their lives and it would only last as long as they held onto the other. Breaking the moment, he stepped back and gasped for a breath.

"I'll ready a bath for you."

He was gone before she could stop him, leaving her alone in the center of the room in confusion. After a few minutes, she sat down where he had left her, folding her knees to the side to keep from ripping the dress. She struggled to sit and hoped he hadn't seen her. With her eyes closed, she let her mind wonder, holding back a set of tears that threatened to ruin her composure. She hated him to see her this way and refused to give in to her pain.

"Here," he whispered as he stepped before her, taking hold of her left hand in her lap. "I will help you."

She went with him without a word, part of her unaware of what was happening until he began removing her dress. Keeping her hands at her sides, she turned her head from his direction and stared into the darkness she saw. She could feel his breath on her neck as he unbuttoned the dress, his body so close its warmth made her ache. He moved with great care, gently removing the fabric as though it was something sharp gliding over her skin. When it fell to the floor, he took a step back and she knew he was taking in the view of her, memorizing her every curve until he could no longer take it. Taking hold of her hand, he inched her toward her very large, round bathtub, his eyes never leaving her body.

"Step," he instructed with a soft nudge of his knee against her right leg. Again, she did as he told her and without a word, complying without thought. He helped her ease into the water and then proceeded to dump another few pots of hot water to the mix for extra comfort.

She could feel his eyes on her as she sat in the water, back straight and shoulders pulled back. It felt wonderful, but she couldn't bring herself to enjoy it just yet. When it was impossible to fight the tears, she swallowed her thoughts and slouched forward. "I'm sorry."

They both knew that she didn't have to elaborate, each knowing what it was she was sorry for. "Don't be, I'm with a woman who can't see it."

"Richard-"

"They're right, you know. If you could see me, you would run the other way."

"I am the only one who can see you," she told him through tears. "I may be blind, but I see you. Those people, they cannot see past their own noses. They are incapable of understanding what it is the scar means."

"What does it mean?" he asked weakly. This wasn't how he had planned their return, but he had lost a piece of himself in the crowd outside.

Reaching out for him, she waited. "Come here." She expected him to resist, but he was inside the tub with her in a heartbeat, his clothes soaking up the water as he came to her. "This," she said as she brought one hand to his face, her thumb tracing the bottom of the scar, "and this," she added, finding the one on his chest. "These are not something to be hidden. They are proof of everything you are, the man you are. You should not be ashamed of these."

"You didn't see the way they looked at me."

"No," she agreed softly, stroking his cheek with her left thumb. "But I see something else, something more."

"What?"

"You." Lowering her hands into the water, she smiled and shifted before him, letting her breasts emerge from the water for a moment. "If you require some kind of proof-"

"Spirits, Kahlan," he panted as her fingers began pulling the lacing of his pants loose. This is how he wanted their night to go, but he wasn't sure it was right, now. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Pulling back her hands, her smile faltered. "I'm sorry, I thought- If you don't want to-"

"It's not that I don't want to, I do. Kahlan, I would like nothing more than to be with you." Pulling off his shirt, he sat down and pulled her onto his lap, his eyes falling closed as she settled above him.

Leaning forward, she pushed her chest against his and hovered her lips above his. "I'm sorry I dismissed your idea in the forest."

"Don't be," he said with a slight buck of his hips. "I understand."

Releasing a soft moan, Kahlan shifted her body, bringing herself impossibly closer as their lips connected. His hands circled her back and shoulders, enjoying the feel of her soft, wet skin. They were moving together within moments, the water dripping over the edge of the tub and onto the floor, splashing on deaf ears. Dropping his hands to her hips, he changed their speed and increased the roughness between them. Kissing down her neck, he pushed forward and yanked her hips down to his, his height coming upon him rapidly.

She wouldn't come with him, falling over the edge without a care. He knew it to be true, but he hoped for the moment. From the way her nails raked into his shoulders, he knew she was climbing just as high as him and it wouldn't be long before she pushed him away. The water had lowered more than they realized, making it possible for him to bring his lips to her breasts and then bring her just a little bit higher.

Without wasting a moment, she dropped herself onto him completely and slowly rolled her hips, shifting in the right way to end him. His body convulsed beneath her, his face against her breasts with a series of deep breaths. He held her to him firmly, refusing to lose contact with her until he was dead. She rocked slowly, lowering her own pleasure so she would be able to stop, though her body begged for more. Leaning back, he rested against the side of the bathtub, her chest still pressed to his and their faces close for each breath. He knew that she would move off of him and set the magic free and the moment came too soon.

The strength of it shook the tub, her own body jerking from the pressure before she fell back. He hurried to her, bringing her head out of the water before it was completely submerged. His first instinct was to rush her to their friend, but somehow he knew that it wasn't necessary. Lifting her into his arms, he carefully moved her to the bed, laying her down gently before retrieving a few towels.

She held a smile on her lips, bringing one to his as he began drying her off. He moved her gently, keeping her from soaking the bed beneath her before covering her naked body with warm blankets. When he was sure she comfortable, he began the struggle to remove his soaked pants, knowing that it would take some effort to be free of them.

"Richard?" Kahlan jumped at the sound of the door closing, her hands coming to hold the blanket to her chest.

"I'm still here," he told her as he made his way back to the bed. "One of your guards brought us something to eat."

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I didn't mean to lose control."

"I know; I understand. For a while there, I wasn't sure you were going to be alright. I almost went for Zedd."

He almost laughed at the look on her face, the horror at the thought of the wizard knowing what had happened. "Thank you for not going."

"Are you alright?"

Nodding, she turned her head away, embarrassed. "Yes, I... It was..."

Crawling onto the bed, he inched closer to her. "Are you trying to say that you enjoyed it?"

"It would appear I enjoyed it too much," she said quietly, embarrassed.

Leaning in close to her, he nudged her nose with his. "Me too."

Grinning, she turned her head away. "You didn't lose consciousness."

"No," he agreed through a whisper. "But I lost control; you didn't."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he told her as he inched forward and kissed her briefly. "I liked seeing you like that."

"Unconscious?"

"Pleased," he said in a voice that made her body ache. "Do you want to eat something?"

"I should get dressed first."

"I like what you're wearing now."

"I'm not wearing anything."

Coming even closer, he grinned. "I know."

His breath was warming her jaw, making her grow weak in anticipation. Turning her head, she grabbed his face and connected their lips, falling back onto the bed with a low moan. He followed without hesitation, moving rapidly to lay over her. The blanket kept her body from him and he noticed with every move, resorting to pawing at her over the cloth. He had redressed and regretted it fully, wishing to feel her fingers on his skin as she pulled him closer.

Kahlan moved her legs beneath him, trying to shift her body beneath the blankets for the pressure she needed, groaning in discontent when one action after another failed. With a soft chuckle, Richard lifted himself and yanked at the blanket, removing it instantly. She didn't waste a moment pulling at his shirt, desperate to feel his skin against hers. Her belly pushed into him as he leaned forward, his hands caressing the sides. No matter how many times he touched her, he was always amazed that their child grew within her.

After a moment, Kahlan broke their kiss with a heavy gasp, her hips bucking against him wildly. He caught a glimpse of her eyes, the darkness of her magic covering them completely. It was only a moment he allowed himself to enjoy the vision, before retreating and rolling them onto their sides. His knee moved between her legs, pushing forward to help ease her down as she worked to control her instincts. There could be no stronger woman.

"Thank you," she said breathlessly into his neck, surprising him. He had thought she would apologize for having to be the reason they stopped, but she didn't. "I don't know how much longer I would have been able to hold it back."

"One day you won't have to."

She chuckled, again surprising him. "Are you planning on making a run to the dresser?" From the tone of her voice, he knew that she was joking. They both knew that he would never let her wear the Rada'Han. "If we did, join our lands," she clarified herself quickly. "How would we do it?"

He remained quiet for a moment, thinking. Before, his plan had been to begin by asking her to marry him, but he couldn't do that now, not like this. Shifting against her, he moved to the position she had been in his arms, his face against the top of her breasts. She waited patiently for his answer, her heart beat remaining solid as though it didn't bother her that he didn't answer right away. "I was going to find Cara and ask for her help."

Her heart began to race, but he couldn't tell if it was from the sound of the woman's name, making her remember what he told her happened between them or if it was simply because she wasn't sure he could trust the Mord'Sith to help. "Can she give you what you need?"

"I don't know any of the other Mord'Sith. I need their trust if I am to make this happen. The people and army will follow them."

"Yes," she whispered while her fingers began stroking his hair. "But do you believe she will help you?"

"The one thing I know for sure about her is that she is loyal. She serves the Lord Rahl, but she also does what is best for her sisters. If I convince her that it is for their good as well, I believe she will help me."

"Do you know where to find her?"

He nodded against her chest, his eyes closing. "She's close, I can feel her, all of them. I think they've kept themselves close for months; I think they helped me rescue you."

"What do you mean?"

"After I found you, I realized that most of the men had gone inside with me, looking for you, but when we went outside, there were more bodies on the ground, men I didn't see before and the two of your men who had remained behind had been killed, they couldn't have done it. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but I can't remember seeing any blade wounds."

Her heart was racing again as she pulled back from him. "It would appear that you have already gained their loyalty."

"If I have, I need their trust, too."

Lying on her back she rolled her shoulders, her body finding it difficult to lay in any position very long without some kind of pain. "Mord'Sith do not like Confessors, Richard."

"Maybe not, but they will respect you. I know they're not as everyone sees them, in a lot of ways, they're like you."

"You see things differently from us all."

Lifting himself from the bed, he moved to lean over her. "I see things the way you do."

"You should find her- them. They can have rooms here in the palace."

With a slanted grin, Richard nudged his nose against her jaw. "You're not afraid they'll sneak in here and murder you in your sleep?"

"No, they'll have to get through you, first."

He went alone, not wanting to appear to be a threat to the women in the forest. It was the middle of the afternoon and the sun was barely shining through the leaves, making it a little difficult to move through the trees. He knew they were close and that they were smart enough to stay out of the snow, leaving only a few places they could be. There was a cave not far from the river, it was hidden fairly well, the perfect place for them to hide. As he suspected, he was greeted instantly by a group of them.

"Do you think you can kill us all, Seeker?" one of them asked with a grin.

Shaking his head, Richard crossed his arms and sighed. "I don't want to kill any of you," he stated factually, looking around for the one he knew. "I've come to thank you."

"Why?" The woman's voice was familiar, making him smile.

"You helped me rescue the Mother Confessor."

"What makes-"

"I felt you there," he interrupted as his eyes fell upon the blonde's. "I've felt you around me for a while now."

"So you've come to thank us?"

"I have," he answered swiftly. "I've also come to invite you all to stay in the palace."

"No," a group of the stated together.

Richard smiled, remembering the tone Kahlan had used when she told him that Mord'Sith did not like Confessors. "Afraid to stay near a Confessor, are you?"

"We do not fear anything," Cara said at once. "What does your Mother Confessor have to say about-"

"It was she, who suggested it. A small thank you for aiding in her rescue. You will be free to move around, if you'd like and stay as long as you wish."

Cara stepped forward, moving to stand in front of the others. "Confessors do not allow us in their city."

"This one will," he told them genuinely. "She is not against you as the others have been. She is grateful for your aid, though I can't imagine that means very much to you."

"What if we chose to go with you?" The other Mord'Sith gasped, surprised by her words.

"You would be welcomed properly, a feast prepared and a warm bed to sleep in. If you wish to leave at any time, we will not attempt to stop you. You are free, capable women, you can do as you wish."

"And if we required proof?"

Richard chuckled, shaking his head as he reached into his vest for a formally signed letter from the Mother Confessor, one she insisted he take. "She's written it all down. You are welcome."

Snatching the parchment out of his hand, the blonde read it carefully, inspecting each line as though it would give away the true reason beneath it all. "Tell your Confessor that my sisters and I will think over her offer."

"Cara," another woman spoke angrily. "We can't go there, it's madness."

"Lord Rahl has extended us the offer, we cannot overlook his request."

"He's living in the Confessor's Palace, Lord Rahl would never stay in that place, in its bed."

With a speed none of them had seen before, he rushed forward and took the woman from the ground, using his arm to push into her throat, her back against a tree. "You will not speak of her that way. When you refer to her, you will call her by her name or title of Mother Confessor, do you understand?" The woman nodded, slowly. "Say it."

"I understand," she replied, her eyes darting to the ground.

He waited a moment before releasing her, watching her the way Kahlan would to see the truth. When her feet touched the ground, he took a step back, noticing that none of the other Mord'Sith had come to her aid or had dared to interfere. "I do not owe any of you an explanation as to where I sleep and who it is with. I plan on changing a few things around here and I would be more than happy to have you each with me, but I will not mourn your dismissal." Turning to Cara, he sighed. "I require an answer, now."

"If you wish us to return with you, we will."

"I would like it if all of you came with me."

With a single nod, the Mord'Sith turned and picked up a small pack. "Let's go."


	13. Chapter 13

"Is it true she's blind?"

Richard nodded, leading Cara down a hallway alone. "After what they did to her, she's lucky to have only lost her sight."

"Is your wizard not able to heal her?"

"No. He can't isolate the problem. It must be hard on her," he added after a moment. "She's relied on her sight for so long, it's a heavy part of her magic. Everything she's ever known is changing and she can't stop it." Looking over to the blonde, he sighed. "The one thing she was worried about, that bothered her about it all- Cara, it wasn't that her sight was gone, it was that she believed she was no longer able to protect her people and give a just punishment. I only thought of her and she only thought of her people."

"Where are we going?"

"We're going to tell her you accepted her offer.

"Maybe it should wait until morning."

"You should meet her," he countered softly. "I know that you don't have very many reasons to trust me, but she isn't the person you're thinking of." Coming to a stop, he smiled and reached to the door. "She is the best of all of us." Opening the door, he entered first, letting the other woman follow him in cautiously.

Kahlan was sitting in a chair beside the fireplace, seeming to be asleep, but her head turned at their entrance. "It's raining," she whispered to him as he came closer. "It sounds beautiful."

Smiling, he nodded and reached for her hand. "It is. Kahlan, there's someone here to meet you." She stood with him, quickly rubbing her free hand down the front of her dress, the way he had seen her do many times before a council meeting. "Kahlan, I would like you to meet, Cara."

"Mother Confessor," the blonde said softly.

The women stood still for few moments and if Kahlan could see, it would be both of them staring at each other searching for weakness, two animals challenging the others role. Richard felt the tension around them, but said nothing, waiting for what would come next.

"Thank you," Kahlan said after a few breaths. "Had you and your sisters not been there, we could be dead. I know it was not my life you intended to save, but I am grateful." Her voice was soft and genuine, but hard at the same time, the others knowing that it was her way to stand her ground.

"Your Lord Rahl has a knack for getting himself into trouble."

Kahlan smiled, nodding her head. "Yes, he does." The Mord'Sith was surprised by the moment, the woman before not being any of the things she had been told. Richard had been right and though she would never tell him, it gained more of her trust. "Have you accepted my offer?"

"Yes," Cara said as her eyes found Richard's. She wasn't going to thank her for the offer, none of them would. "The child you carry is Lord Rahl's?"

Kahlan seemed surprised to be asked such a direct question from someone other than Richard, but nodded. "She is."

"What is your plan with her?"

Kahlan's shoulders slouched in ease, the woman calling the child a 'her' instead of the more common, 'it'. "I do not know," she answered honestly, surprising the other two. "The thought has been on my mind for some time, but I do not feel it is my decision to make."

"Who's is it?"

"It will be hers. I do not want to force one life upon her, she has a choice."

"You want her to chose between being a Confessor or a Rahl?"

"No," she replied quickly. "That is not a decision she can make. She is both by blood, but she can choose the life she wishes. When I die, we will need another Mother Confessor, same as with Richard."

"Have more children," the blonde stated as though it solved everything. "First born takes Aydindril, the second takes Lord Rahl's place."

Grinning, the Mother Confessor took a step forward, testing the other. "I can bear no son."

Shadowing her actions, Cara tilted her head. "The blood unites us, not the manhood."

Licking her lips, Kahlan reached her hand back, waiting for Richard to take it, he did, instantly. "You were right," she told him. "She is everything you said she was. Would you care to accompany us to the dining hall? There is a feast being prepared for you and your sisters."

"What are you thinking?"

Kahlan turned her head toward his voice, smiling. "The water is warm."

Richard chuckled, his body fighting the urge to join her in the bathtub. "I know, it's steaming."

Lifting an eyebrow, she bit her lower lip. "I'm not sure you can tell from over there."

"I don't want to hurt you," he said instantly, remembering what had taken place a few nights before.

"And if I promised not to touch you?"

"I would be disappointed," he replied honestly. "You're tired, you should rest."

"I am resting," she told him through a whisper. "All that I do is rest." He could hear the distress in her voice, noticing that she gave no effort to hide it. "I feel useless now."

"You're not useless," he told her softly.

Sinking lower into the water, she sighed. "I can't do any of the things I used to. I'm tired of the darkness."

Walking around the bathtub, Richard knelt down behind her and reached his arms around her, letting them sink into the water. "You just need time to adjust."

"I don't want to adjust," she admitted as she turned her head slightly, needing to feel more of his breath on her cheek. "I didn't think I wouldn't be able to see for this long. Every minute that has passed, I've thought it could be the last and then the next arrives and I'm still trapped in the dark." Bringing her hands to his forearms, she pulled them closer to her. "Sometimes I wake up and for a moment, I'm- It was dark there and it's dark here."

"Kahlan-"

"Those nights I've woken you, if you hadn't been there, I don't think I would have been able to get through them." Taking in a deep breath, she closed her eyes. "I'll never be able to see her," Kahlan added through a whimper. "I keep imagining what she will look like, but I'll never really know." Shifting in the water, she swallowed. "I'm going to miss so much."

"You'll be there," he offered softly, unsure as to what to say that would make her feel any better. "I know that may not be enough right now, but when you hold her and hear her laugh, it will be so much more than you thought it could ever be."

"What kind of mother can I be to her?"

"I meant what I said before, Kahlan. You will be a wonderful mother and even without your sight, you will be able to do everything. You'll protect and comfort her, give her advice that no one else can and she will love you."

"I'm scared."

"Me too," he admitted through a sigh. "The only thing that keeps me calm is knowing that I'm doing this with you."

"A blind woman."

"The woman I love," he corrected her. "Come on, lets get you out of the water before it gets cold."

She stumbled as she attempted to step out of the water, instantly landing in his arms. "Thank you." With a quiet sigh, she stabilized herself and moved just out of his grasp. "I wish that I didn't need your help so often. You should be able to leave my side."

"I can leave your side, but I don't want to."

"You should," she told him as she reached out her left hand, feeling for the heat of the fire so she would know which way to move to get to the bed. She was soaking wet and would probably slip on the way, but being so close to him when she felt useless, wasn't something she wanted to continue. "I know how much you hate being cooped up."

"Two steps to your right," he said as she moved. "There's a towel on the bed table, beside your clothes."

Wrapping herself in the warm cloth, she turned to face him. "I can't even get dressed without your help."

"Maybe the spirits want you to remain naked," he told her with a smile she couldn't see. There was sadness on her face, covering her features as he slowly began walking toward her. "Give yourself time, Kahlan. Listen to me, I know you and I can't imagine how hard this is, but it will get easier, I promise. I'll be here, every step and I will help you through this."

"I don't know how you can be so sure. How can you know that this will become easier? Every minute I feel I'm suffocating and I... Everything that I was, the woman I used to be, she's dying."

Pulling her into his arms, Richard held her tightly. "She's not dying," he whispered into her hair. "She's adapting. Kahlan, I promise you that this will get better. You're still here, you're still you." The woman he hugged was the strongest he had ever known and feeling her tears soak into his shirt told him just how hard it was on her. He knew she could get through it, that she was the only one who could and when it came to an end, she would be stronger for it. "You're still here."

Clinging to his shoulders, she tried to melt into him, finding his embrace more comforting than her own breath. "Would you mind lying with me for while before you see Cara."

"I had no plans of going to her tonight," he told her softly. "We don't want to scare off our new friend." Moving her onto the bed, he hovered over her for a moment. "I may have imagined doing something far more fun."

"What did you have in mind?"

Resting himself against her, pushing just slightly, he beamed. "Many things."

"Things we couldn't have done in the warm water?"

"I think I can keep you warmer than the bath."

She smiled, bringing her left hand to his face. "But that's not what you planned to do."

"How do you know?"

"Because you didn't join me in the bath."

"Maybe I was waiting for the right moment."

With a soft chuckle, she shook her head and lowered her hand to the side of the bed. "There is no right moment with us. We're lucky to have what we do."

"We have many right moments, like this one. I'm laying above you and you're naked, beautiful, pregnant... This, above our many others, is a right moment."

"I like the way you see things."

Grinning, he kissed her quickly, knowing that too much contact would change his plans. "Me too." Sitting up, he straddled her waist and reached for the nightgown he had folded and laid on the small table beside the bed. "Let's get you dressed."

She frowned, doing her best to pout without smiling. "I don't want to."

"If you want to walk the halls naked-"

"Where are we going?" she asked a little more eager than intended.

"For a walk through the palace."

"Leading us where?"

"You're not going to get me to tell you, Mother Confessor. I'm afraid that you're going to have to come with me to find out."

Moving to sit up, she pursed her lips. "If we end up in the kitchen with Zedd, you're spending the night in there."

He let out a soft chuckle, helping her arms go into the nightgown. "I promise that won't happen again."

He was excited. It was rare that she left her room even more so that she agreed to it so easily. He had wanted to take her out during the day, but she didn't like moving through the palace while it was awake. She told him that she could feel the people's eyes on her, watching as she walked past, disappointed. He could understand how she could feel that way, but he couldn't find the words to tell her that her people looked proudly at her. Richard would swear that many of them believed that her sight was taken while she defended them and in some way, it was.

When she was dressed, he took her hand and led her out of their room, bringing her arm to his to make her feel like he wasn't her guide. She held onto him tightly for a few moments, adjusting herself to match his speed, instead of her usual rushed pace. They walked for a few minutes, down a set of stairs and around another, then down again. She tried to visualize a map of her own home, hoping to understand where he was leading her. After several more minutes, he brought them to a stop and he brought her hand to a doorknob. Instantly, she knew where they were. He had lead her to the servants quarters, the round and simple knob giving their location away. Confused, she turned it and for a moment expected to see what was inside. She couldn't help but feel like it was the type of place he would bring her, a place he had most likely found comfort, a place he felt more at home. He was a simple man and never had the need for most of the things they were given, one of the many things she loved so much about him.

He said nothing as they walked inside, only now, he was leading her and faster than before. Pulling out her hand, he brought it to something wooden. "I haven't done as much as I hoped I would before showing you, but I want you to-"

"You've been building a crib?" she asked in a voice that made his troubles fade. Both of her hands were moving over the wood, gliding along the well sanded edges.

"It's not much and I know that you must have something greater, but this seemed like the only thing that I could do for her."

Kahlan pulled back her right hand and reached for him, taking hold of his left with a tight squeeze. "You're the first man to build a crib for a Confessor willingly."

He was surprised, even though he knew that he shouldn't be. The people around them were far different than the ones he was always surrounded by. "I wish that I could do more."

"You've already done more than anyone."

"It doesn't feel like enough," he told her softly. "I feel there is so much I should be doing, but I don't know what it is."

"I don't think there is anything more you can do." Moving closer to him, she laid her left hand back on the wood before her and smiled. "How long- When have you had time to work on this?"

"I come here every day for a little while, when you're with Zedd. It was the only time I felt it was safe to be more than a step away from you."

"It feels like you've been working on this for months."

"The thought, the design- I've been thinking about this since we met."

"What's this?" she asked as her fingers touched what appeared to be a carved face.

"A strong woman," he replied without hesitation. "Its you."

Grinning, she squeezed his hand. "I don't look like that."

"How would you know?" he teased, his lips coming to her neck for a brief kiss. "You can't see your own beauty."

"I can't see anything."

"I suppose I should show you, then."

Wrapping her in his arms, he pushed his chest against hers while his mouth began exploring her cheeks and jaw. Taking his time, he moved his hands over her, holding them together as she wrapped her fingers in his hair. She tugged him closer, her head falling back as his lips drifted down her neck, finding the spot that always sent shivers down her spine.

A long moan flowed from her lips, her knees bending as she struggled to remain standing. Pulling back a few inches, he grabbed her hands and began leading her across the room. He sat down in a thick and wide wooden chair, bringing her to sit above him. Before he could take a breath, she claimed his lips and pushed forward, stealing what was left of the oxygen from his lungs. The silk nightgown was bunched around her hips within a kiss, his hands searching for more skin to caress. He loved the feel of her, the way her body was soft where he was rough, a pleasant truth as they laid together.

He didn't know when or who unlaced his pants, but suddenly he felt her against him, ready and wanting. It was all too easy to send her higher, her body feeling the actions with an intensity she shared through a moan. Richard wanted to tear through the gown, desperate to feel and see her before him, but they could be found at any moment and he didn't want anyone to see her that way. With a hard buck of his hips, he warned her of his desire, the one that would not be able to be contained for much longer. It was an action she had come very familiar with, one she adored because she knew what he was doing. This was her chance to stop him, to pull back if she wanted to and she loved him all the more for it. Snaking her hand between, she circled her fingers around him and lifted herself from his lap, moving to hover perfectly above him.

She could imagine his face as she lowered herself onto him, hearing his breath catch and his head fall back against the chair. They both found it impossible to breathe as they connected, the feeling taking over in a tight grasp they never wished to lose. His fingers dug into her hips, holding her steady as they struggled to remain still, drawing out the moment. This was one of the moments he spoke of earlier, where all was right for them. As usual, they moved at the same time, her hips rocking forward as his lifted, a flawless action that fueled their fire. Their mouths found the others, kissing, biting and pulling, fighting for a dominance they both would surrender.

As their pace quickened, he found it difficult to think, almost forgetting the magic that would soon take her from his arms. He always knew when it was at its strongest, when it was at its height and hard for her to hold onto. She would slow herself, allowing him to take more control, trusting him completely as she brought more of her strength to the magic. He was dangling over the edge, his breaths coming in a constant panted moan of pleasure, her name sneaking off of his lips to caress the air around them. It was custom for them, her body feeling his shake and giving him exactly what he needed to fall. She nearly broke their contact before dropping completely with a hard rock, her nails scraping his chest to hold back a heated cry of her own that attempted to join his.

She locked herself around him, strengthening the pleasure between them as he emptied himself with her. Her mind jumped back to the first time they had been together; how she had moved away to keep from hurting him only to have him groan in protest at the loss of her warmth. He couldn't stand to be lost from her when he finished, needing to feel her in order to breathe. She quickly learned to steady her breaths as she fought her own release, using his hands to hold her still and keep from throwing herself over with him. She caught a gasp breaking free, swallowing the sound as she squeezed her eyes shut. He was watching her, she could feel his desire filled eyes on her, his body already beginning to want more.

She had asked him about it once, embarrassed to question his need. To her surprise, he laughed and answered quickly, an honest answer that she knew most wouldn't. He told her that before, when he was with other women, he couldn't continue for some time, but with her, he could go on forever. As the thought went through her mind, he leaned toward and kissed the hollow of her throat, his tongue snaking out for a brief taste.

"Are you alright?" he asked in concern. "You're shaking."

Giving a small smile, she nodded. "As long as I am still conscious."

"Do you need me to let go of you?"

"No," she smiled. "I have control, now."

Lifting his hips, he watched her reaction. "How long do we have?"

With a long moan, she let her head fall back. "Spirits..."

Grabbing her hips, he held them both still, helping her to keep steady as she came to a stop. The moment had come, but instead of pulling away, she brought herself closer and used his breathing to guide hers. Their foreheads rested against each other's, their noses pressed together and her belly held firmly against his stomach.

"Do you want to go back to our bedroom?"

Shaking her head, she grinned. "Not if we have to move."

He was fighting his own movements, doing his best not to bring them to the ground and rock forward until they were both lost. "If we stay like this, I'm not going to be able to hold back." Kissing her, he beamed. "We can always lay in bed, naked."

"We won't be there fast enough."

"We'll run," he told her with a chuckle.

With a moan of discontent, she lifted herself from him and with his help, she stepped onto the floor. He moved quickly, grabbing her sides to stabilize her as her knees nearly gave in. When she was able to stand on her own, he relaced his pants, making quick work of them without care.

"Richard?" Kahlan said as she shook his shoulder. They had fallen asleep beside the fire, the previous day's meetings having taken its toll on them. It had been two weeks since their night of passion and she found it difficult to keep her mind from it. The days had come and gone quicker than most, but when she opened her eyes minutes before, she could feel time slow. She laid beside him for a few moments, blinking away the blurry dots that decorated her line of sight, her heart pounding as she tried to keep breathing. Before she knew it, she was shaking him in excitement to tell him the news.

She had awoke to the sound of a bird close to the window and without thought, she opened her eyes and suddenly jumped forward. It had to be a dream she thought at once, her eyes coming to the man who slept beside her. The spirits could not be so kind as to give her back her sight, not after everything she had done. Tears began to fill her eyes as she watched him take a breath, her hands instantly coming to his shoulder.

His eyes opened slowly, blinking away the sleep as he turned his head toward her. "Are you alright?"

She smiled widely, bringing her hands to his face and tracing over it as her eyes followed. "I can see you."

Richard sat forward at once, his own hands coming to her face to bring her closer for a better look. "You can see me?"

Nodding, the Mother Confessor let out a set of tears and licked her lips. "You're a little blurry, but I can see you. Spirits... I- I never thought that I would see you again." He suddenly turned his head, bringing his hand to cover his face for a moment. She knew why and responded quickly. "I've seen it," she whispered. "You don't have to hide it from me."

"I didn't want you to see this."

Grabbing his face, she turned his head and brought hers in close. "You're still better looking than Zedd," she told him, knowing that it would bring a smile. "It doesn't bother me."

"Kahlan-"

"I'm going to kiss you, now," she told him with a wide smile. "And I won't let you stop me."

He didn't fight her as she connected their lips, giving in as she pushed into him. She pulled back before he liked, but when she moved, he knew why. Her hands came to her belly, circling the large mound that held their daughter. Her tears fell heavier as she let her eyes circle it for the first time.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" he asked her with a smile, his right hand coming to rest over one of hers.

She chuckled lightly, shaking her head. "It's large."

"You will be giving birth any day."

Her eyes lifted to his, "I'm going to see her."

The way she spoke made his smile grow, the mix of wonder, excitement and sheer joy being the same he felt. "You're going to do so much more," he told her as his attention returned to her stomach. "Do you want to go to the kitchen? We can have some fun with Zedd before you tell him your sight has returned."

Kahlan laughed, nodding at the idea and knowing what it was he had in mind, but it was something very different than how she planned to spent any part of the day. "I was hoping we could do something else," she told him while coming to her knees.

He helped her move, letting her push against him to stand, letting her feel like she needed his help a little less. "What?"

"There is a room I would like to revisit."

His heart leaped into his throat at the seductive tone of her voice, her eyes staring into his with a hunger he had missed seeing. Without a word, he jumped up and grabbed his shirt, pulling it on before she could follow his movements. He was about to hurry to the door when he realized she was in her nightgown and with it being early in the day, more people would be about and he knew she wouldn't want to be seen in the thin, green gown. Smiling, he walked to the wardrobe and pulled out the dress he had bought her, the one she had wore many times, but had never seen.

Taking it from his hands, she ran her fingers over the fabric as she looked down at it, examining it with a smile of her own. "It's more beautiful than you said it was," she said as their eyes met.

"Only when you wear it."

Tilting her head, she bit down on the corner of her bottom lip. "Help me?"

"I'm not sure that is a good idea," he told her as his body stiffened. "If you plan on leaving this room today, it may be difficult if I cannot remove my hands from you."

"I'll risk it," she said as she turned away from him and slowly looked over her shoulder. "I don't think I'll mind having you more than once."

Richard practically flew forward, his chest pushing against her back as his hands circled to grab her breasts, squeezing just slightly as he kissed her neck. She leaned into him, her own hands switching rapidly from holding his against her to sliding into his hair, unable to decide what she wanted more. His hands slid beneath the top of her gown, teasing one of her breast with a quick graze. The action pushed her to the point of deciding, her hands now coming to his, to lead them where she wanted. With one holding her breast, she urged the other lower, lifting her nightgown to give him more access as she lost herself in the moment.

All too soon, he pulled back and turned her around, ripping the cloth open and bringing his mouth to her chest. His hands continued to move over her, exploring the body he knew everything about. Hers were wound into his hair, using his head to keep steady as she swayed in pleasure, her body fighting to remain standing while he worked seamlessly. With a heavy moan, she rocked against him, his lips now traveling over her belly with an intense flow of kisses and gentle scrapes of his teeth. She was climbing quickly and without warning, she pushed him back and brought his back to the bed.

Her eyes were dark, covered with a layer of her magic as she motioned for him to remove his shirt. He yanked the fabric from himself at once, watching as she began unlacing his pants. It as a glorious relief as she set him free, his body desperate for attention that she gave freely. His head fell back, his eyes closing as her fingers wrapped around him and pulled gently. Her hand continued to move over him as she shifted her position, bringing her lips to his chest and kissing the new set of scars he had obtained in her defense. To her, they made him more beautiful and with the grace of her tongue, she told him just how much.

Richard moaned loudly, his fingers sliding through her hair as he massaged her head, moving in the same speed as her lips on him. Whispering her name, he lifted his hips, his body climbing rapidly.

Bringing her mouth to his, she crawled over him, shifting to give them both the pressure they needed. Sitting up, she looked down at him, watching him as she moved, taking in the sight she had desperately longed for. His hands slid up her thighs, as they connected, coming to her hips to help guide her down. Her eyes began to lose focus as she came to a stop, his body filling hers completely. With a smile, she closed her eyes and let her head fall back, her hips rolling slowly. This was the way she wanted to spend the rest of her life. This was her perfect moment.


	14. Chapter 14

_**Kahlan laid in bed, exhausted and filled with energy as she watched her daughter sleep. It was a simple pleasure she had taken to for hours since the day she was born, almost a week before. Amanda, though born late, was small, but with a single look, it was clear that she was strong. She had big, round cheeks, pink in health and eyes that captivated, although it was hard to determine their color. Her head was covered in a layer of muddy river hair, a little thinner than her mothers. She was beautiful, more so than the Mother Confessor had ever imagined and with her lying before her, she was even more grateful for the return of her sight.**_

 _ **The door opened, but neither moved, the small child going off of her mother's steady heartbeat as she knew who approached. Richard had yet to stop smiling, the action showing nearly all of his teeth at all times. It was rare for him to leave her side, but he had hurried to the kitchen to make a few, small requests. Kicking off his boots, he gently laid himself down on the other side of the bed, their daughter between them.**_

 _ **"She grows bigger every time I look away," he commented in awe, his left index finger coming to her hand. He loved watching as her tiny fingers wrapped around his**_ _ **to**_ _ **hold it tightly. "I'm going to blink and she will be a grown woman."**_

 _ **Kahlan chuckled, lifting her eyes to his. "I don't think it will happen quite so fast, but I'm sure when that day arrives, it will feel that way."**_

 _ **"I can't wait to hear her voice."**_

 _ **"And her laugh," she added softly.**_

 _ **"She's going to laugh like you," he told her quickly. "I can tell."**_

 _ **"How?"**_

 _ **"Her mouth," he smiled. "And I think my laugh would sound strange coming from someone so beautiful."**_

 _ **Bringing her eyes back to their daughter, she let out a soft sigh of wonder. "It's hard to believe she is really here."**_

 _ **"It is," he agreed through a whisper. "She's- Spirits, I didn't know anything like this existed."**_

 _ **"What?"**_

 _ **"When I think I'm the happiest I'll ever be, I prove myself wrong. I never thought it was possible to feel this way."**_

 _ **"I know the feeling. I've been living in it for the past three weeks."**_

 _ **"It's been nice seeing you so happy."**_

 _ **"Almost as nice as the feeling, I imagine," she said with a grin. "She makes everything seem perfect."**_

 _ **"Because she is perfect."**_

He blinked and suddenly, he was sitting in a large chair with his head in his hands, breathing heavily as the woman before him spoke. They were in the room he had claimed as his office, the place where he began uniting the lands. The room was small, leaving only a small amount of space between them, making it possible for her to whisper and still be heard. It had been an hour and he couldn't believe the words she said to him.

"This is very important Seeker, you must understand. If the Mother Confessor lose this child, it will be the end of the world we all know. What I have shown you just now, the child must be born, must bring you the happiness. I have seen this many times and this is the last opportunity I may have. I have seen so many futures, so many lives have been lost so that I could come to you."

"I need you to start at the beginning. If you expect me to understand and do as you ask, I must know everything."

With a tired sigh, the woman sat down in the extra chair. "The Mother Confessor will bear no other man's children. In every future I have seen, after each detail I've altered, it remained the same. She takes a mate and cannot conceive and after a single release with you, she carries your daughter."

"I don't understand," he said softly.

"I do not have the time to-"

"You will explain this to me. Everything."

Staring ahead at him, the woman licked her lips. "In a future I have come from, the Mother Confessor took a mate, laid with him many times as she grew desperate for a child. After weeks, she came to you for help, your wizard's magic strong and capable. Your feelings for her blocked it from your mind and instead of helping her carry another man's child, you empty your seed within her, creating a child." The woman waited a moment before continuing to another story, just in case he required more of an explanation. "You marry, but still find yourself in her bed. Only days after you wed, you need her and not for your release alone. You've made a mistake in the woman and you've always known. In another, four days after the death of your son, you arrived here at the palace and make your way to her bed chambers. A simple hug from her was more comforting than anything and when you demanded more from her, she couldn't refuse. There is no stopping the bond the two of you share. If I stop you from becoming the Seeker, you enter the Midlands to explore and still find your way to her. When you've remained in Hartland, she is the one who comes to your aid, again, uniting your souls." Straightening her back, she swallowed. "The child you two have created, she must survive and I have come to you in just enough time. There is a danger that will sweep through this city and it will claim many lives, your daughter among them."

Richard's mind was spinning in thoughts and anger. "Why have you come now?" he questioned coldly. "After everything- After what has been done to her, what those men did to her. How could you have waited until this moment to warn us of danger?"

"What was done to your Confessor was necessary. Though it was more horrible than anyone could imagine, it needed to come to pass."

Coming to his feet, he began to pace. "How- What is it you want from us?"

"The child the Mother Confessor carries, she is your child." It was a sentence he was happy to hear, one he had never thought anyone would say for certain. The knowledge made him smile, but it didn't stay as he looked at the other woman. "She witnessed the horror her mother experienced, every minute of it and as a Rahl, she has a temper. Your blood and magic run through her veins, your, at times, uncontrollable anger. The only thing that keeps this child from bringing the people fear is the heart within her. As she experienced her mother's pain, she held back, disappearing from being felt to give the Mother Confessor more strength and it was she, who kept her alive after being shot down in the forest, the child using your voice to keep her breathing."

With a soft sigh, the woman stood up and raised her head proudly. "This child must live. She is to unite us all, not just keep Aydindril with the Midlands as you begin, but so much more. This child, she is of the most importance and through her, there will be no pain."

"I don't understand why you have come."

"There were none who could have known the child was yours, not without one of us doing what I have and come in warning. We have been betrayed and the life of the two you love is in danger. There will be no stopping the child once she is born, leaving you just over a week to ensure it all. The attempts on their life will come hard and strong, never seeming to end and the scar your face holds now will be far less than what you will gain next. You must do this for you and the Mother Confessor shall give the world a peace it desperately needs." The woman spun around quickly as though hearing something he couldn't. "I must go, they have found me. Protect them, Seeker, use every resource you have and then push on."

Before he could speak, she vanished in a loud cry of agony, leaving him mouth open in shock, fear and anger. He wasn't sure he could trust the woman, but everything she had said now, made sense and if there was any truth to it, he had to act. Running from the room, he raced down the hall, pausing for a brief moment as Cara and Dean came around the corner.

"Where is Kahlan?"

Confused, Dean looked over his shoulder. "We just passed her in the kitchen," he said softly. "She is with your wizard, is something wrong?"

"Find every man we can trust, we can't let her out of our sights. Cara, find your sisters, I will need their help as well."

The blonde gave no hesitation before walking past them with a nod, instantly eager to do anything he commanded. The other man waited for a moment, hoping for some kind of explanation.

"Sir?"

"She is in danger and I will not have her taken from us."

"Kahlan," Richard half shouted as he entered the kitchen. "Get up, we have to go."

Confused, she came to her feet, struggling to get down from the chair. "What's wrong?"

"I know that this is going to he hard for you, but until you give birth, you're not leaving our bedroom." He took her hand and began pulling her along, her body close to his to block any attempts of damage to her body. "Stay close, we have to move faster."

"Richard, what happened?"

"You're in danger and I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

"How do you know?"

"Someone told me," he answered quickly, hurrying them down the hallway. "I didn't believe her at first, but the things she showed me- Kahlan, our daughter... She's beautiful."

A smile came to her face and she quickened her steps, coming closer for a better look at him. "You saw her? What did she look like?"

He could hear the excited joy in her voice, making him smile, too, as he opened the door to their room. "She looked like you."

When they were locked inside, she walked to their bed and sat down, her back aching from the brief walk. "Did she have your smile?"

"No," he told her as he moved to the wash station and began heating a bowl of water. "She had yours. We were laying in bed, watching her every move and we- She was the most beautiful child." Making his way to her, he eased her back to the bed and laid a warm, damp cloth on her forehead as he sat down at her side. "She's going to take your breath away."

Watching him, she smiled widely. "What else?"

"She's smaller than a loaf of bread."

Pulling his hand from the rag on her forehead, she held it in hers. "She was to join us days ago, I don't think-"

"She's going to be another few days," he told her.

Blinking slowly, she shifted on the bed. "I have to stay in here for days?"

Richard chuckled, "I promise the time will pass quicker than you think. I- I know that it's not your first choice, but I have to keep you safe."

"I know," she said softly, moving once again in an attempt to get comfortable. "Spirits, I'm not sure I can handle another few days like this."

"I can try to make you a little more comfortable."

Grinning, she shook her head. "I believe that's how we arrived here."

"We walked," he teased as his hand slid between her breasts. She had become more than uncomfortable weeks ago, but he couldn't see why she found herself so unattractive. "You're beautiful."

Her eyes fell closed to his touch, her body pushing up for more. Unbuttoning her dress, he pushed it open, exposing her to the room and his hungry eyes. With his breath caught in his throat, he moved his hands over her, massaging gently while fighting the urge to lay over her.

"Richard...," she spoke as his hands continued their decent down her belly.

Meeting her eyes, he pulled back. "I'm sorry, I know that you don't like me to do that."

"I'm sorry, I- I don't understand how you can want to."

With a sly grin, he snaked his hands over her. "That's not all I want to do."

"Spirits..."

"I don't think we should bring them into this, I want us to be alone."

"Are you going to tell me what that woman said to you?" He stared down at her for a minute, his mind seeming to be spinning, but she continued to look up at him. "I know you, Richard," she said softly. "You do not believe in prophecy, nor do you believe in just anything you are told. What is it that makes you believe so?"

Shaking his head, he rested his right hand on her belly and sighed. "The things she told me of her... Kahlan, they were all of the things you and I have ever hoped. She is going to be everything we want her to and more. She's going to hold the people together, having their loyalty and trust, their hearts."

"I do not understand where the danger comes from that."

"There are some who do not want the peace she will bring."

With a quiet sigh, she pulled on his arm, lifting her back from the bed with a slight struggle. "What is it you have planned, then?"

"Kill anyone who tries to harm you."

As the woman predicted, the attacks began sooner than expected, bringing Richard to pick another room in the palace for her to stay in and after one night, she was moved to another. There had been six assassins, who had come at different times, each making an attempt and each meeting the same fate. Cara and three of her sisters remained in the room with them at all times, one at every point of possible entry and the Seeker clung to her as she pretended to be asleep. There was a soft scraping at the door to the room, making her jump as his hold on her tightened.

The moon was high in the sky and lighting the room perfectly through a single window. They were on the third floor, a hard task for the Mother Confessor, but it put more room between them and whoever hunted her. Moving her slowly, Richard came to the edge of the bed, using himself as a shield as one of the Mord'Sith stepped closer to the door. It grew silent and suddenly the room went cold. Pulling the blanket closer to her chest, Kahlan closed her eyes in an attempt to hear something more. Quiet.

The wall flew apart with force, knocking the leather wearing women to the floor. None of them saw it coming, the animal that leapt through the door and onto the Seeker. It was the biggest creature they had ever seen, each tooth, the size of a large man and his head taking the space of most of the room. His breath smelled of death, blood dripping out as it looked down at Richard, who was struggling to move his arms. With a loud growl, he lowered his head, blocking the view just before the room filled with a ripping sound and his cry of pain.

Two Mord'Sith were on its back, their agiels pressed into it firmly as Cara finished shoving part of the wall from her fallen body. Rushing forward, she joined her sisters as Kahlan managed to take hold of the Sword of Truth. The raged that the Seeker had store within it filled her as she lunged at the creature, letting it slice into it as though it as merely a piece of paper. The wound didn't appear to have harmed it at all, leaving her strike again and again, her own anger mixing with another's and bringing out a strength she had never known. Her eyes went black and her body froze, dropping the blade as she looked up to the other women.

"Get off of it now!" she shouted in a voice not entirely hers.

Confused, the Mord'Sith leapt to the floor, just missing the rays of light that flew out of the Mother Confessor.

The creature made a sound, one no one had ever heard, nor could replicate. Its body rose into the air, pressed against the roof until it cracked, drowning out the sounds of the bones crushing. Before anyone blinked, its body exploded, blood instantly covering the room as Kahlan fell to the ground.

Struggling to her knees, the brunette crawled closer to the bed. The sight made her body ache, but she didn't stop moving closer. Richard's right arm seemed to be hanging onto his shoulder by the smallest piece of skin, his chest was torn open and the bed beneath him stained more with his blood than that of the creature. Swallowing back her own cry of pain, Kahlan reached out to his face, nearly screaming when his head jerked toward her. How was he still alive?

The Mord'Sith stood frozen for a moment, shocked by the vision before them. As the Mother Confessor began ripping her dress, one of them moved to help. Cara pushed down on the cloth the other woman laid on his chest, the only thing they could do to try to stop or slow the bleeding. With another rip, Kahlan tried to wrap a thick piece of her nightgown around his arm, moving it to nearly connect with his shoulder once more. He never stopped looking at her, even as he coughed up more blood and groaned in agonizing pain. If he looked away, he was dead.

One of the other Mord'Sith, Stella, the name they had come to know, ran through the opening in the room, shouting for someone, anyone to help.

Most of the guards were dead, the creature having gone through them all to find the one it was looking for, leaving a trail of blood and scattered limbs down the halls. There were two healers in the city, they would have to do what they could until Zedd returned from a place, she hadn't cared enough to ask.

When she returned to the bedroom, Kahlan had her forehead pressed against Richard's her nose touching his as he struggled to follow her breathing. His left hand was holding hers, squeezing and from the look of it, it was no longer tight. Her hand had turned to the light shade of pink, the white from the lack of blood flow fading with his strength. The Mother Confessor whispered things to him, making sure he understood that they were safe and that it was because of him and the Mord'Sith, surprising the women in leather.

"Mother Confessor, you must step back," the older man said as he brought his pack of elixirs and healing supplies to the side of the bed.

"I can't," she said quietly, her voice filled with pain. "I don't think I can move."

Richard moved suddenly, kissing her as though it was his final act, his hand leaving hers to touch her belly. Kahlan broke.

"Don't you dare give up, Richard Cypher!" she shouted at him through tears. "Don't you leave me, don't leave us." Shaking her head, she pushed from him, looking away. "No," she said in a voice that left no room for arguing. "You're not going to die, as Mother Confessor, I command you to live!"

The sound that escaped him appeared to be a laugh, but none could be sure as it quickly faded into a cry of pain as the healers began to work. If he hadn't seen what happened next for himself, he may not have believed it. Cara moved around the bed, passing her sisters to get to the other woman who, without hesitation or fear, embraced the blonde tightly.

Two days passed slowly and the attempts on her life never ended, though the Mord'Sith didn't leave her side. At times, Kahlan would try to dismiss them, but they seemed to believe it was what they were supposed to do and she almost believed it was because they had come to like her as she did them. Richard had been taken to a room in the servants' quarters, one that the Mother Confessor knew would make him smile when he awoke, a place he was more than safe. Cara had remained close at all times, her eyes searching the area, no matter how small, never missing a beat as she instructed the others to do their tasks. They didn't complain about having to keep watch or stay awake most of the night instead, they seemed thrilled to have the fight.

She could feel the stiffness in the air, a heavy night ahead of them. The women sat with their backs against the wall on the far side of the room, across from the door that held their eyes. Kahlan leaned her shoulder against the blonde, the one she had found comfort in as she reminded her of the man she loved. She watched ahead of them as he world, her face and heart calm, mind spinning, but fully aware of everything around. It was easy to see why he liked her, why he trusted her beyond the others and that he was correct in believing that it was she, who would give them more than they did her.

"I thought we had passed this," the Mother Confessor whispered more to herself than anyone. "None of this was supposed to happen."

"We never pass the terrible things that happen to us," Cara said in a surprisingly normal tone.

"I said the same thing to Richard, once."

"He believes we can change our fates."

"Can't we?" she asked quietly. "Look at everything he has done, the things he has overcome after even our prophecies declared it impossible."

"Maybe the Spirits changed their minds."

"Maybe," she agreed quietly.

Richard opened his eyes and jumped. Kahlan was laying beside him, naked and sleeping peacefully. His arms were wrapped around her, confusing him as he lifted his head to look around. They were in their bedroom, furniture broken and blankets thrown around the room. The view was more than familiar, it was the exact one he had woken to months before. This was the morning he had watched her leave only to find later that she was missing. This was the day she was taken.

Richard tightened his hold on her instantly, his heart racing as he tried to figure out what was happening. Had he been sent back to prevent it all from happening? He wouldn't allow her leave the room so easily this time, she would remain in bed with him until the trouble had been taken care of. A smile found its way to his lips as he remembered that she was pregnant, that they had created a child in their night of passion. She didn't know it yet, but she carried their daughter and a part of him wanted to wake the sleeping woman and tell her.

Shifting in his arms, she smiled and pulled herself closer. "It can't be morning already."

"Maybe it's not," he replied softly. "If you keep your eyes closed, it will still be night."

Opening her eyes, she grinned. "I'm sorry, I couldn't resist." Bringing her hand to his face, she wiped her thumb across his cheek, noticing the light layer of tears in his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he replied almost instantly. "I was just thinking about last night."

Holding her smile firmly, she bit down on her bottom lip. "I believe it was part of the morning as well."

His heart was racing as his mind replayed what the other woman had told him and how what was to happen to Kahlan was a major part of the story. If he kept her here in bed, would he destroy everything? If he was to stop her from being captured and their daughter grew within her knowing something different, would that change the way she united the lands? What kind of man thought about these things? He questioned himself with a huff, moving her closer in an attempt to hide it from her. How could he be thinking of letting her go?

Pulling her head back, she pushed him over and lifted herself to look down at him. "What's wrong?"

"I can't quiet my mind."

"What are you thinking?"

Blinking, he pushed his fingers back into her hair. "Crazy things."

"Care to share?"

"If you knew something as going to happen, something terrible, would you try to stop it?"

Kahlan nodded, "If I can spare someone pain, I would do what I could."

"Even if you knew how important it was?"

Shifting against him, she frowned in confusion. "Important?"

"What if the future depends of- Because of what happens, the decisions that will be made-"

"The terrible things this someone goes through shapes everything that happens after?"

"Everything," he told her through a whisper.

"Where is this coming from?" Sitting up, she pulled on the blanket and covered her chest as she looked at him, her own mind spinning in thoughts. "What's going to happen to me?" She gave a small smile as he stared up at her in shock. "It makes sense that it would be me," she said softly. "What did you see?" His head tilted in sadness as he held her eyes, a part of him wondering if he should tell her. "It's alright," she added after a brief moment. "It doesn't matter what it is. Richard, if something must happen, no matter how terrible, if it creates something better, the decision is made. If it will bring something good from it, something that changes another, maybe it is the best. You and I know better than most that even the bad things can bring out something worth all of the pain."

Shaking his head, he touched her cheek, bringing her closer, just slightly. "I'm not sure anything can be worth that price."

"If it were you, instead of me, would you hesitate to let it happen?" His head shook slowly and she smiled. "There are things we do, they are not always pleasant, but they can be for the good of others."

"I don't want it to happen," he stated at once. His voice was hard as though his mind was made up, but his eyes were still filled with torment. "Kahlan, I- How can I let it happen? How can I be alright with letting you walk from this room when I know what will take place?"

"Is it that soon?"

Richard sat forward and hugged her to him. "I won't let you go."

"What if I told you to? Richard, I know that you want to protect me, you always have, but if this must happen, whatever it is, let it. If something comes from this that is as important as you say, I will do it." Kissing him passionately, she smiled. "It's out of your hands now."

"No," he said as he tightened his hold. "You can't go into this willingly. Kahlan, no one should ever experience what you will and I- I can't allow you to endure that kind of pain."

Crawling onto his lap, she brought her forehead to his. "Then give me something to hold onto."

His tears fell against her hand as she held his face, his eyes closing as he shared her breath. "It won't be enough," he whispered. "Please stay in here with me today."

"We both know that I can't. If this is the will of the spirits, I must do it. And if I know you, you'll bring me back to you. That is all that matters." With another kiss, she moved off of him and grabbed her Confessor's dress, dressing quickly before he could stop her. Walking to the door, she looked over her shoulder as he crawled out of the bed, naked, bringing a smile to her lips. "I love you, Richard."

"Kahlan, no!" he called as he ran forward, just missing her as she closed the door behind her. Instantly, he pulled it open, desperately hoping to see her on the other side, but instead it was like a blink and he was laying in bed once again.

Blinking away the groggy fog of sleep, he turned his head and it all made sense. He hadn't saved her and here he was, laying on a bed with one arm barely attached. Swallowing, he closed his eyes, remembering the last moments before he lost consciousness. Kahlan had remained with him, telling him that he had saved her and that she was grateful. She had smiled down at him as though he wasn't broken and still the man she loved, it had been a welcoming last sight.

Turning his head, he met the eyes of one of the guards who stood watch. "Kahlan?"

"She is safe. Your Mord'Sith have held her close, protecting her as though she as you, Lord Rahl. You have been asleep for five days."

"Our child?" he asked as he attempted to sit up.

"Still within her, Sir. She seems to be under the impression that it will remain that way until you are at her side."

"Then you must help me get to her."

One of the guards shook his head and took a step back. "I'm sorry, but the Mother Confessor gave us strict instructions. We are not to let you go after her, not until your strength has returned."

Richard nearly laughed, almost hearing her orders. "I have to fight my way from this room, don't I?"

"It is the only way we can be sure you can make it through the palace."

"Did she give any rules?" he asked as though it had been made into some kind of game.

One of the guards laughed. "She instructed us to stop before you killed us. We are to do our best to keep you here, but if you are able to push past us, we must allow you to leave or," he said as he straightened his back. "If you can fight for longer than five minutes, you are free to go as long as we accompany you."

"She thought of everything, didn't she?"

"She has."

Closing his eyes, Richard forced himself to sit up. "Shall we begin, then?" He knew that he should feel weaker; that he shouldn't be able to move, but with the image of Kahlan lying in bed with their daughter was burned into his mind, pushing him, fueling him.

He fell to the floor before he had a moment to attack, his body exhausted in a way he had never known. The guards remained still, watching as he struggled to get up once again, the sight before them, though tragic, was up lifting. The man at their feet enduring a pain they couldn't quite grasp for the woman he loved. When Richard was once again on his feet, the men circled him, partly because they were afraid that he would fall again, and the other because they were sure this was it.

The Seeker slammed his right shoulder into one of the men, taking the sword from his hands as he dropped to the ground at the perfect moment to avoid a punch from one of the others. He didn't struggle as much as before as he came to his feet, seeming to have found a way to use the one side of him he could control to balance himself. His eyes were bright red and filled with pain, but he pushed on, leading the others into a false attack so that he could strike from another side, his attempts proving to be well organized. One of the guards suddenly raised his hand, bringing the entire battle to a stop. Richard gasped for his next few breaths, panting quietly between each of them as he waited to see what happened next.

"Come, we will take you to her." The guard took off his helmet and smiled. "She will be pleased to see you."

With a slow nod, he took a step forward. "I see you took her advice and trained with the men some more, Philip. Very well done."

"Thank you, Sir."

Kahlan jumped up from the floor with Cara's help, rushing toward him as he entered the room. The Mord'Sith stared at him, his clothes bloody and arm obviously torn, but she didn't. From the way she looked at him, he was sure she didn't see any of it. When her arms encircled him, he couldn't feel the pain. He wanted to kiss her, but she wouldn't have it, instead, she pulled on his hand, bringing him to where they had been sitting before.

As they sat down, he found it difficult to take his eyes off of her belly, watching it the way he would when his hand rested on top and felt the child move within. He watched as though he knew something was going to happen.

"What?" she asked as concern filled her.

He grinned, "I'm waiting."

"Shes not going to crawl out of me just because you're watching." Her face changed for a moment as a wave of pain rolled over her. Confused, she tilted her head and gritted her teeth to hold back a groan of pain. "If you could make her be born, why did you wait so long?"

Richard chuckled for a moment before she grabbed his hand and the moment clarified in his mind. Panic filled him as she tightened her hold, the unknown lingering in his mind. If this was the time she was to be born, the danger was at its height. "As of this moment," he spoke clearly, "No one else is to enter this room. If they come close, kill them."

Even though they didn't understand, the guards and Mord'Sith moved to blocked the door. Kahlan was calmer than he imagined, knowing that the pain had to be intense. His mind suddenly raced back to the moment he found her months before, now wondering if any pain could be worse.

"Spirits!" she shouted as her back jerked to stretch in pain. Squeezing his hand, she grit her teeth to keep from losing control. "I don't understand how women do this."

"You're stronger than men," he whispered into her ear. "And you," he added quickly, "you are the strongest of them all."

Forcing a smile, she shook her head. "Your opinion is forced."

"You're assuming I came to the conclusion after I fell in love with you."

"Didn't you?"

"Maybe, but that doesn't mean that the opinion wasn't correct."

Her mouth opened to respond, but a cry of pain escaped instead, filling the air. Closing her eyes, she leaned back against the wall and sucked in a heavy breath. Richard wanted to lift her into his arms and carry her to a bed, the action screaming to be done in his mind, though his body couldn't comply. After a moment of thought, he began to move, bringing her to inch forward as he settled behind her. His right arm was around her instantly, his left hanging limply at his side. She leaned against him, her eyes shut as she focused on her breathing and not the sudden strange sounds of battle that filled the air. As long as Richard was close to her, she was safe; their daughter was safe.

She could hear him shouting to the others over her left shoulder, but she couldn't make out the words. Every few moments he would switch sides, whispering to her on the other, telling her that she was alright and that it would be over soon. He promised.

Her body tensed in pain as her mind spun, she wanted to look around them, but she knew the minute her eyes opened, she would lose all of her strength. She thought she was holding back, but suddenly she could hear herself scream and the sound was strong. Richard tightened his arm around her and inched them forward, trying to make her more comfortable as Cara ran to them. The bottom of the Mother Confessor's dress was covered in blood, her own that dampened the wooden floor beneath them.

Lifting the fabric, the blonde met the Seeker's eyes calmly. "She's nearly here. I can see-" Her words were cut off by a loud roar, another creature tearing into the room. Without a word, the blonde hurried away to join the new battle, the relief being the fact that the creature was much smaller than the one who had attacked them before.

"You're so close, Kahlan. Listen to me, you have to push harder and I know that it's hard, but-"

"Do-You-Want-To-Do-This?!" she half shouted and half cried, her body ripping to do what was needed.

She was pale, her cheeks white and deathly, something he had been warned of. "I know you're tired," he whispered with his mouth against her ear. "You can't let go, Kahlan."

Cara returned to the floor and brought herself in close, doing her best to help the other woman. The Confessor grew quiet, her hand tightened its hold on his as she pushed forward to give a final push, one that filled the air with a baby's cry and a mother's ragged breath. Richard couldn't take his eyes off of the small baby, the room suddenly grew quiet except for her cry and Kahlan's heavy breathing.

She was filled with an energy as she took her daughter into her arms, almost forgetting the pain her body continued to throw at her with each breath. Amanda was beautiful and it was difficult to believe she was lying in her arms. Richard rested his chin on her shoulder, staring down at their daughter with a racing heart. She stared up at her as though they were having a conversation, the small child seeming to know something they didn't. With tears in her eyes, the new mother smiled with a nod, swallowing as she at last looked around the room.

It was as it had been before, Amanda's magic filling the room and raising their enemy from the floor, their bodies shaking before ripping apart, splattering blood upon them all. Before anyone could blink, Kahlan turned and pressed their daughter into his chest, close to his wounded arm. He was confused until he saw it, their daughter looking up at him, silently telling him to trust her. It was a warm flood that entered his chest, flooding his body as it pulled; as it healed.

The others in the room stared at them, watching as even the scar on his face faded away. Time slowed as he blinked, letting the magic flow freely into him without fear. It was an incredible sight to see, one that none have ever seen before and it held each of their attention, the Lord Rahl, holding a baby Confessor, his daughter, free and willingly.

After a moment, he lifted his eyes and met hers. She was exhausted, but smiling, her happiness reaching her eyes and almost hiding her pain. He tried to hand their daughter back, wanting her to heal her as well, but Kahlan shook her head. Resting her left hand against his cheek, she brought her right to the head of their daughter.

"She's more beautiful than you said she would be."

"Let her heal you-"

"She can't," she whispered. "Her magic needs to rebuild."

Confused, Richard grabbed her and pulled her to him, laying their daughter in her arms as he hurried to make her comfortable. Her strength was fading, he could see it in her eyes as she clutched Amanda to her chest and tried to hold onto her smile. Cara handed him a blanket, one he couldn't remember seeing her retrieve, but since it wasn't covered in blood, he knew she had. Wrapping it over Kahlan's legs, he pulled it to her chest, just below their daughter in a small attempt to keep them warm.

"Zedd will be here soon."

Nodding, she took in a slow breath. "I know, I'm supposed to be laying in bed with the two of you in a few days."

Grinning, he sat down at her side and closed the distance between them. Circling his left arm around her waist, he rested his head against her shoulder and stared down at the now sleeping baby in her arms.

She looked almost the same as her mother, struggling to survive, but the way her tiny hand held his finger, he knew she wasn't in need of worry. Kahlan hummed softly as her eyes closed and her head fell back against the wall with a slight thump, her strength diminished.

"This is the moment," Richard whispered with a smile.

Kahlan took her eyes from the sleeping baby between them and grinned. "Does this mean that whatever it was that woman wanted to prevent, we stopped it?"

"I guess we'll have to wait and see if she returns."

With a sigh, she reached over to him and took hold of his hand. "We may not survive another one of her visits."

"Amanda will protect us."

"We can't ask that of her."

Inching closer, he looked down at his daughter. "What do you think she will want?"

"I don't know," she replied honestly. "I've thought about it for months, but I can't imagine her choice."

"Maybe she won't have to choose."

"There must be two leaders, one cannot look out for everyone, unselfishly."

"I don't think our children will know the word selfish."

Chuckling, Kahlan mimicked his previous movements and lowered her voice. "Shh, if you say it around her..." Dropping her eyes to his chest, she blinked. "What happens now?"

"I don't know," he told her. "I keep expecting something else to happen."

"Me too," she admitted through a whisper. "I can't imagine things will be easy."

He smiled, sliding his hand up her arm. "Nothing is easy. We'll figure everything out, we always do."

"At what cost?"

"Nothing we wouldn't pay," he told her as his mind replayed his dream where he had tried to stop her from ever leaving their bedroom. "We would do anything to protect the people we care about, anything."

"I don't want her to know that kind of world."

"She already does and it will be she, who changes it for others. She is going to make sure no one suffers at the hand of another."

"It's a lot to expect from a child."

Nodding, he gave a small smile. "Maybe, but she's already seen more than she should and before she was born, she began to change things- Kahlan, I think she's just like you. Always wanting to help people and she will not have it any other way."

"I'm worried about her."

"Me too, but since she's our daughter, I'm certain there is no need to be." He grinned, his hand now gliding along her side. "But we can't turn off our parental instincts."

Closing her eyes, Kahlan pushed into his touch, graciously accepting the gentle feeling. Her body was still healing, but it longed for his, longed for something more than the massages he generously gave her. "If your hand keeps moving, there will be another child between us."

"Why Mother Confessor, I'm not trying to seduce you."

With a failed attempt to hide her smile, she met his eyes. "Then I would suggest you remove your hand from my breast."

Moving carefully, he pushed her onto her back and brought himself to lay above her, both looking to make sure their daughter was still asleep. Bringing their eyes back to each other's he lowered himself slightly, pushing his chest into hers as their lips lightly grazed. The had come to spend more time teasing each other over the past few days, their bodies unable to unite with causing her pain, though the restriction didn't stop them from playing when they were alone.

Kahlan was the first to respond, her lips grabbing his in triumph as her fingers wound into his hair. This was the beginning of their new life and without knowing what was to come, the couple was determined to spend what time they could in the way they always imagined.

***The End***


End file.
